WHEN THE MINISTER CALLS
My paw says that it used to be, Whenever the minister came for tea
'at they sat up straight in their chairs at night
An' put all their common things out of sight
An' nobody cracked a joke or grinned, But they talked o' the way that people sinned
An' the burning fires that would cook you sure, When you come to die, if you wasn't pure
'Twas a gloomy affair that used to be, Whenever the minister came for tea.
But now when the minister comes to call, I get him out for a game of ball
An' you'd never know if you'd seen him bat, Without any coat or vest or hat
That he is a minister, no siree! He looks like a regular man to me
An' he knows how to go into the dirt, For the grounders hot without gettin' hurt
An' when supper's ready, both him an' me, Have to get washed up again for tea.
He's played all the games that the fellers play, When he was in college, An' one big day,
He came to bat with the score a tie, An' the pitcher slipped him one, Shoulders high,
An' he walloped it over the fence for fair, An' he won the ball game right then an' there!
An' my paw knows that it's true. Coz he, Wuz up in the grandstand where where he could see,
Once in a football game he played, An' the winning Touchdown alone he made--
My Paw says that whenever he got the ball, He could run so fast that he'd beat them all.
He says that the feller who'll just play fair, Is fit for heaven or anywhere,
An' funs alright if your hands are clean, An' you don't cheat and you don't get mean,
He says that he never understood, Why a feller can't play and still be good,
An' my Paw says the he's just the kind Of a minister he likes to find--
So I am always tickled as I can be, Whenever our minister comes for tea.
1920 Edgar A. Guest