Falconman

Questions for FALCONMAN It has been some time since I’ve looked at this board. I am amazed of all the private messages asking where I was and wanted some updates. The simple “I Miss You” made me tear up a bit - not going to lie. I feel the love and have decided to start a new segment called “Questions for Falconman.” Question 1 –“ Falconman, Where are you? How are your Falcons.” I am still in the best town in Virginia, Abingdon. My Falcons are just fine. We went down to Tenn. High the other night and showed them we can play. I love our scheme and think Randy will keep us on top. I thought we looked better in the spread than in the wing. Question 2 – “Do you have any family members playing for the Falcons?” My cousin is playing for the middle school team. He is fast, athletic, and brings a load when needed. Let me just say, there isn’t a middle school team in this area that can play with these Falcons. Undefeated – is an understatement for a prediction for their season. Don’t give me that Reechlands crap of they could play with us. Let’s be honest, you guys dropped my Falcons because you got tired of being dominated. When it comes to foxing, Randy outfoxed Mance and YOU dropped us! #proofisinthepudding Question 3 – “What do you think about the election, the new President, the Protest ?” Again, it has been awhile since I’ve signed on this board. Two words describe my thinking about the election and our current status – DISENCHANTED, BROKEN! I’ve said it for years on this board - the insensitive views of so many people will come back to haunt us. We need some form of a national program of sensitive training in this country (make it mandatory when getting or renewing a driver’s license) to allow for alternate views to be expressed. I agree with what Elizabeth Warren said in her book A Fighting Chance - “Most white people need to reform.” I know what it is like to feel bias. Anytime we traveled following the Falcons, Southy and I were ridiculed for wearing our “Fear the Beak” shirts, our multi-colored string necklace (supporting the LBGTQ community), and khaki shorts. People would boo us and bully us. That’s not being open minded. That’s just being an ugly bully and it still upsets me. Question 4 – “What is you take on the whole confederate thing?” I support our courageous governor on this. Any monument or symbol, which promotes separation, needs to go. I ask you, how can we name some schools after confederate generals? As a white guy, I am ashamed. I can only imagine if I was a minority. It’s time for those schools to change their name. In the words of Lebron - “Rise Above the Hate!” One of my sister’s kids ask me why I don’t want to watch DVD’s of the Dukes of Hazzard – I simply said “because of the Rebel Flag.” It offends me. There’s no place for it in our society anymore. I’ve heard that some schools still have it up on their flag pole. Shame on you! I hope you realize the bigotry you are promoting. To all of my supporters – I love you and appreciate you. To all my haters – I pray for you and hope you get educated on these issues during this critical time. I hope the next generation doesn’t follow in your footsteps. We need to be sensitive to ALL. Until next time . . . . . . . GO FALCONS!

Every year you jackarses want some Falconman. You remind me of all the dames out there who are just trying to hang with the man, the myth, the legend: FALCONMAN. A couple of keystrokes on here and you guys become entertained, enraged and fulfilled. Happy to provide a service to you jokers!. Speaking of jokers, I’m about tired of hearing the term “Storm Warning†every time we play the naders you fat arses bring it up. Well, after watching you last year at FALCON HILL, and some highlights of you this year, it’s more like “SNORE WARNING!†I yawn at the notion that you are on the level of my FALCONS! What is there to do over there in Richlands besides go to Walmart, eat fast food, and sit your fat arses in front of a tv & become inspired by the former Kardashian star Bruce Jenner. I bet the WHOLE TOWN haS special viewings of his new show “I AM KAT†at the local pizza store or movie theatre (if you have one). Let me go ahead and patton this hash tag #snorewarning. Twitter will be buzzing tomorrow night with that one boys. Questions for the game: can the Falcons win the special team battle? Can the naders slow down the Falcon Express? With speed and precision on our Offense we are probably going to OFFEND the onlookers and maybe even inspire a few naders to believe in the FALCONS. WE’RE NOT 7-0 FOR NOTHING!! Just ask Christiansburg, faster than lightning and precise as surgeon worked on Adrain Petterson’s knee. Sources were quoted saying – “Doc you realize you’re working on a $50 milion knee, don’t you need some help, a wingman? Doc replied, “who needs a wingman when you’re a kamikaze!†We all know A.P. is playing because that Dr was the best and so are my Falcons. Finally, I’ve decided to properly prepare for this game because last year it caught me off guard. They say confession is good for the FOOT. I must confess I wasn’t properly prepared for the beat down my Falcons did last year! This year will be different. Tomorrow I am going to eat my breakfast, drink me a bloody mary, & go see the chiropractor. I am going to say, “Doc get my hips loose and make sure I’m properly adjusted because I’m going to Whip & Bae Bae on the “R†after we take down the blownaders tonight!†GO FALCONS!!!! #SNOREWARNING #IAMKAT #FEARTHEBEAK #WHIPONTHE-R PS: Who is Union?

I've stayed out of the spot light because I didn't want to take away for the complete domination of my Falcons. I've been busy spreading my business around with all my ladies and haven't had time to entertain you bruisers on here. Speaking of bruising, hows those bruises holding up Gate City after we embarrassed you? Haha I bring up Gate City because there's some talk that you want Randy Reid to come bail you out of the mess you're in right now. Didn't you know that poaching was illegal? Don't come cry the blues after you passed him up and didn't see the potential that ABINGDON FALCONS did! Do you know what we do to Falcon poachers? . . . . . We take them behind the wood shed for old fashioned arse whipping! My advice, leave Randy ALONE! Next topic, can this board get anymore politically correct? I mean its good luck guys, don't get mad if we win, wheres a good place to eat, hope to play hard . . . . . . whatever happened to, "Hey, the Falcons are coming and we're going run through your town like Sherman did Atlanta?" You heard me right! The Falcons are Coming! "Fear the Beak!" That's whats happening to our society. No one tells em like it is and the next thing you know Iran has a nuclear deal. While others sit quietly and watch the cars go by. Well, I'm not going sit around and watch Gate City poach our Falcon!! No Sir, that won't happen on Falconman's watch. I'll leave you with these two thoughts: No to Iran Nukes; No to Falcon Poaching!!!! PS: Tired of hearing about Union. Union you don't want any of my Falcons! Go Falcons

UVANonobserver and Bluelazy, the reason why we've busted more meth labs in our county is because we don't turn a blind eye to illegal practices. I think its well documented that your area turns a blind eye to a lot of things (Southy has written a ton on that). I commend our police for getting the job done. Falconlover, you know deep down you want to be like us. We have the best town, best band, and by far the best football team this year. Don't be a hater, be a lover. I am . . . . . just ask your girlfriend. Deep down, all of you just wish you could be like the Falcons! This year has been my fav by far!

It’s a long way to the top but dang it feels goooooood! Personal note, Big O, don’t take shots at Southy and Falconman Where were you when we were defending the Falcons? No where? Shut ya beak and let the real Falcons take credit for the constant encouragement for our team. We don’t apologize for our fanaticism. We ARE Falcon AWEsome! Now, everyone is going to talk about the football game with Marion and yes there will be a football game played. However, there are “games†that will be played. Much like in the movie, the Hunger Games, THE FALCON GAMES will be off the chart. Get your popcorn ready. Game 1 - The Egg Toss – advantage Candy Canes (they’ve won this every year) #noclass Game 2 – Pie Eating Contest – advantage Falcons (We eat more Pie than errrrbody) #witnessgreatness Game 3 – Hammer Swing – advantage Candy Canes (They got their early edge due to their off the field unsanctioned practice exercise) #postmaster #nothappy Game 4 – Kissing Boothe – Advantage Falcons (When all those ladies see Falconman and Southy, well you know what they do) #girlsbecrae #playerstatus Game 5 – Exotic Animals – Advantage Falcons (Stripes is a beast!!) #whoisgoing #tonotlove #pussycat #stripes Game 6 – Wine Tasting Contest – Advantage Falcons (Nobody has better wine than Abingdon) #homegrown #vineyard Game 7 – Entrance – Some will call this a draw, not me. The Candies stole their Entrance from us. #notonourlevel When its all totaled up, we win 5-2 in the Falcon Games. We will also win in the Football Game. We’ve played a tougher schedule and it will pay off. Our Lost came from Gate City, Marion lost to Clintwood. Need I say more? Falcons 35-14.

Have to give BlueRazor some prompts of Manning Up and given credit where credit is due. I guess Ryan4lozers, Lilrhsfan, and clityofslum can't be big boys now. Cough: frontrunners Thats ok, because you guys are an after thought. The Falcons are focused and poised to lay the absolute smack down on the puppies. Do they even have a taco bell in tazewell? I know they have a sonic, so I may have to drink me a route 44 can of cherry whooop arse after the game. On the way there, Southy and I will being driving thru town with our heads out the window chanting "Falcon Awesome". Are you ready puppies? Prediction: Falcons fly high: 48 Taz: 7 Go Falcons!

Its October and its Monday which means I've been working getting up the leaves that have fallen. Speaking of fallen, HOW BOUT THE NADERS FALLING TO THE NEXT STATE CHAMPS - ABINGDON FALCONS!!! As I was blowing the leaves today I thought of all the blowing been going on from the Richlands fans for years: " Falcons Drool and Tornadoes Rule", well how bout this - Falcons are the number 1 show and the Naders just Blow! You heard me! At one point, everyone around these towns were wondering what play was playing at the Barter. Not now! Now, everyone is talking about who arse is Randy and his boys going to kick next? Well that would be Tazewell this week (can't wait to address you Candy Canes). Now I know some of you ole bullpuppy fans are going to make excuses seeing its going to be a blow out. I don't want to hear it! The Falcons don't make excuses, so I don't want to hear your lame ones! Take your arse whipping and keep on ticking. Back to the naders, I want Bigrhs, city of slum, ryan4lozers, blulazer to publicly apologize for their constant "falcon bias." You guys need to be men and get on here and tell us how great my falcons are. I'm waiting blonaders. I'm waiting. Now, I learned something else from the absolute domination of my Falcons friday and that is, Southy can't handle his new friend Jack. You see, Jack was with his friend Soda and Southy went down hard!!! LOL We took selfies with him resting so softly. It was a blast. I talked to my boy Carl at the Bell, he said after we left they sold out of Victory Tacos and starting handing out free early Halloween Candy. He said good thing we had already bought some. It was definitely a night to remember. But every night with Falconman and Southbound is!!!! PS: I demand this board admit my Randy and the Falcons are for REAL! Sound off!

Let me chime in on this subject manner. First some house cleaning business. The unsportsmanship behavior by the kitty cats chanting "Falcon Awful" was uncalled for last friday night. Take your arse beating like men down there in the dirty and shut ya big smacker! Next, sometimes I feel threatened by the so called muscle men of Randy Reed. At church, they said he wanted Falconman to back off this week and keep a low profile. Hey Randy, you run your football team and I'll run this board. I live in Camelot not Communist China. Don’t try to censor Falconman it will only cost ya big boy! Now, to the Naders. Remember when Southy and I said you're gonna feel the pressure? You falter at pressure don’t ya? Back in 2011, this team when down there in 8th grade and completely dominated you on your turf. We warned you but you fell to the pressure. We looked like deer running around on that turf displaying our speed that night. Final was 49-8. Bigrhsfan you seen that display of talent that night didn’t you? No denying that. Oh wait, you guys are gonna talk about the streak, well the thing about streaks are they are made to be broken like the elastic on Randy’s underwear! The Falcons are for real! This town is pumped and ready for Friday night! I’ve mowed a few lawns this week and all they can talk about are the Falcons and the election. Guess what they believe in more . . . . . . . . the FALCONS! PS: VICTORY TACOS ARE GONNA BE ½ PRICE BIATCHES!!!!!!!

Falcon Bell This year, my Falcons have went through the state of Tennessee like Lebron went through Miami, getting wins and getting paid. I don’t think there's a team in Tennessee who wants anymore of my Falcons. We are finally back in the Commonwealth and look at this Lady in Lace waiting for us. Yes, the Pioneers of Lebanon is just what we needed to warm up for the kitty cats of VA High. Don’t let the lace on their buckskin fool you, they do get up when they are playing the Falcons. So in light of everything (the arse kickings in Tennessee, the fact the Pioneers “Get Up†for Falcons) I needed something to reassure me, Falconman, that we would win. So, I made a little virtual trip on Google Maps from my brand new expensive I phone and guess what I seen? Backwoods and broke back Lebanon has finally caught up with the 21st century. According to my calculations and Google, they now have a Taco Bell. That’s just what Coach Randy Reid needed as an omen for victory. Warning to you Pioneers, no tacos for you so don’t show up. After the dominating performance by my Falcons, the “Falcon Nation†is gonna invade and order some Victory Tacos in your town, in your Taco Bell! Deal With IT! PS: Southy and I will not autograph your buckskin! So Don't Show UP!!! Go Falcons!

I guess you were trying to model yourself after Dre and Tupac's City of Compton. We know you aren't tough enough for that. POSER! I'm now finished with you cityofRaven.

Ooooh... She is a dental hygienist you know. She can help you put that tooth back in after I knock it out.

I must have struck a nerve. The first of the month will be here soon and you don't have to be so grouchy while waiting on your EBT card to get filled with my tax dollars.... Then you can hop on over to Walmart and get your smokes, beer, and toothpaste for that one tooth you have in your head. Once you have finished brushing it, then I can slap it out of your mouth.

The only thing I do know about this game is that Richlands will win. VHS will win during baseball season. These are the two best recruiting schools when it comes to football(Richlands) and baseball (VHS) that anyone has ever seen. Mance should get a job at Tech and Daniels should get one at UVA.

Every time I look on this board its the same ole stuff. Falcon bashing. It makes me upset and I've had enough. What makes things worse is one of our so called own has pesonally attacked me and the best friend anyone could ever ask for - Southy. Southbound has dedicated his life to the promotion of the Falcons and so have I. I beg to ask the question - did anyone ever speak of the Falcons on this board before Falconman and Southbound? Did anyone even care if we had a game on Friday night? How bout the Entrance? Did anyone ever notice the most electrifying entrance in Southwest Virginia Football before those painted up, chest pounding gorilla's and beast of men called Southbound and Falconman? NO! So Big O, your welcome!! No one cares what you think! Not me, not this board, and certainly not Southy's other best friend Stripes! All we've done is promote our Falcons and our beloved Town! Heck, the Martha and the Barter should give us money for free publicity. Along with, Kegley & Company, Rain, The Tavern, and of course TACO BELL. Just the other day one of the managers was talking about how they are going to put a local specialized item on the menu. Do any of you want to guess what that item will be called in Abingdon? Yes, VICTORY TACO! So, Big Slow until you can get a franchise like Taco Bell to name something after you, SHUT YA BIG SLOW MOUTH! Smell You Later! Go Falcons PS: We take it to Hidden Valley this week!! 42-6

Things were problematic from the start. It began with channel 11, waking us up early and getting us hyped. If we had played the game last Friday morning it would have been different. Everyone knows that Falcons hunt better in the morning. By the time our students left there, they had no voices to cheer on our Falcons. The only cheering doneFriday night was from me and Southy. I ask Southbound whats wrong with the student section, his dad replied its that dam news channel 11, they lost their voices this morning showboating for freaking tv!! Even though we were at home, it was like the referees thought we were playing away, several times I watched our sideline try to get in a fresh ball, only to be turned away? Who wants to play with wet balls?? Finally, its also obvious that Gate City had a team who were hold backs. We played some young kids. Its well known that a 19 year old is stronger than a 16 year old! I call upon the VHSL to investigate their birth cards because its a known fact that they hold back. Anyways, thank goodness we have the braves, I mean the warriors this week. They come in 1-1 just like us; however, we didn't lose to the candy canes new "baseball"team, they did!! Falcons recover and win putting us back on track for state! #Fearthebeak