Four things this basketball season taught us all...

[deuceswild 15]

Another basketball season has come and passed here in SWVA. It won't pass without first teaching us a few things, some things perhaps we already knew too well.

 

1) Virginia High's coach is a gambler. I met him at the football game between Chilhowie and VA High and we had a few words. I says, "Coach, can we expect a state quarterfinal appearance out of your 'Cats this year?", He laughed hysterically and choked on his own spit before saying, "If we get that far, I'll make the boys shoot granny style the entire game!" Because he's an honest man, when his team met James River, sure enough they mustered just 21 points off of underhanded shooting. Many of you thought the 'Cats couldn't tell the difference between a basketball goal and a bag of butterscotch candies if you read the write-up, but if you were there, you just saw that its hard to shoot a jump shot like your grandmother would. In fact, VHS's coach had the team practice the granny shots in the last quarter against Castlewood, in which they were held scoreless.

 

2) Layoffs have hit SWVA hard. Really hard. Its been hard times for several people around the area but probably none worse than John Battle's male athletics programs. Having no football wins and only two basketball wins is apparent that JSB was saving up for a new football coach and some more baseball equipment. In fact this past year, JSB sold all their practice basketballs to earn money for a new batting cage. They laid off the entire varsity coaching staff in both football and basketball as well.

 

3) Council waits 9 months a year to play basketball. Some of you may not know this, but when a new baby is born in Council, they are brought to the center of the town and blessed with a basketball. But for the last several years it has been Twin Valley with all the basketball glory. The town's council of Council known as the Council Council got together and decided to confront the Nuckles family about making a new brother. The Nuckles' agreed but it will be 14 years before another Nuckles wanders down from the hillside. By the way their naming him Brass... even if its a girl.

 

4) Most SWD fans will tell you that basketball season is that annoying stint of cold weather where no one can play football. This philosophy has trickled in and around the Region IV and partly into Region III. Marion saw this as an opportunity to actually practice this year and yielded a state appearance! Not to take anything away from the Hurricanes' remarkable season, but Region IV regards basketball in the same way it regards chess and pinochle. If someone had said in the beginning that Marion would make a state appearance, several others (including myself) would have laughed themselves into a serious nosebleed and perhaps coma. Kudos to Marion on a fine job. Marion's basketball program was actually going to start a reality show where it competed with John Battle's football program on who could have the most coaching changes in a single decade. Looks like JSB might win something here yet.

Edited March 9, 2009 by deuceswild

[Cornholio 10]

Another basketball season has come and passed here in SWVA. It won't pass without first teaching us a few things, some things perhaps we already knew too well.

 

1) Virginia High's coach is a gambler. I met him at the football game between Chilhowie and VA High and we had a few words. I says, "Coach, can we expect a state quarterfinal appearance out of your 'Cats this year?", He laughed hysterically and choked on his own spit before saying, "If we get that far, I'll make the boys shoot granny style the entire game!" Because he's an honest man, when his team met James River, sure enough they mustered just 21 points off of underhanded shooting. Many of you thought the 'Cats couldn't tell the difference between a basketball goal and a bag of butterscotch candies if you read the write-up, but if you were there, you just saw that its hard to shoot a jump shot like your grandmother would. In fact, VHS's coach had the team practice the granny shots in the last quarter against Castlewood, in which they were held scoreless.

 

# 1 lesson answer - Kenny Rogers was the original gambler. After the starting five scored less points than they had fingers during the Regional finals and state quarters, look for Ruby to take her love to town. My guess is Granny is the coach next year.

 

 

2) Layoffs have hit SWVA hard. Really hard. Its been hard times for several people around the area but probably none worse than John Battle's male athletics programs. Having no football wins and only two basketball wins is apparent that JSB was saving up for a new football coach and some more baseball equipment. In fact this past year, JSB sold all their practice basketballs to earn money for a new batting cage. They laid off the entire varsity coaching staff in both football and basketball as well.

 

#2 lesson answer - JS Bottle Rocket High Skoal was sold today for a new mall off Exit 7. Barnum and Bailey Circus will be the grand opening gig when it opens....swap one circus for another.

 

 

 

3) Council waits 9 months a year to play basketball. Some of you may not know this, but when a new baby is born in Council, they are brought to the center of the town and blessed with a basketball. But for the last several years it has been Twin Valley with all the basketball glory. The town's council of Council known as the Council Council got together and decided to confront the Nuckles family about making a new brother. The Nuckles' agreed but it will be 14 years before another Nuckles wanders down from the hillside. By the way their naming him Brass... even if its a girl.

 

#3 lesson answer - Cancel got a knuckle sandwich Saturday.

 

4) Most SWD fans will tell you that basketball season is that annoying stint of cold weather where no one can play football. This philosophy has trickled in and around the Region IV and partly into Region III. Marion saw this as an opportunity to actually practice this year and yielded a state appearance! Not to take anything away from the Hurricanes' remarkable season, but Region IV regards basketball in the same way it regards chess and pinochle. If someone had said in the beginning that Marion would make a state appearance, several others (including myself) would have laughed themselves into a serious nosebleed and perhaps coma. Kudos to Marion on a fine job. Marion's basketball program was actually going to start a reality show where it competed with John Battle's football program on who could have the most coaching changes in a single decade. Looks like JSB might win something here yet.

 

 

#4 lesson answer - kudos to the Marionion crazy house administrators who let the nuts out for basketball season. Relax, they are back in their padded cells now.

[billhilly 10]

#4 lesson answer - kudos to the Marionion crazy house administrators who let the nuts out for basketball season. Relax, they are back in their padded cells now.

 

pointless reply

[hokiepanther 10]

... The town's council of Council known as the Council Council ......

 

haha i literally laughed out loud right here

[deuceswild 15]

haha i literally laughed out loud right here

 

Haha, and I thought that was the corniest part of the whole thing.

 

Little something for everyone I suppose... lol

[hokiepanther 10]

lol while were on the subject of council.. even though they didnt make it richmond.. at least they're bus got to go... Twin Valley's boys left this morning on the blue and white council high school activity bus.. i just found a little irony in that..