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Cornholio

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Posts posted by Cornholio
 
 
  1. 10. Pound Cake Wildcats

    9. Bluefield College Rambler Ambassadors

    8. Ice – T Rappers of Chilhowie

    7. (TIE) Clintwood Green Knights & Bluefield Castor canadensises

    6. Emory and Hank Walspers

    5. Appalachian Detention Center in Honaker

    4. George Wythe Coconut Macaroons

    3. Virginia Tech Chokies

    2. Richlands Blue Recruiters

    1. Johnny Pop Bottle Rockets

  2. That's OK, the QB from Graham will save the day...

     

    Actually, that is exactly what happened. Regardless of one's predisposition to the young man (and he is a young man with a full life ahead of him), he was quite proficient this evening. He made wise decisions, managed the game wonderfully, and made some very nice plays with his legs, including a touchdown on a manufactured play at a most crucial juncture in the game. He displayed quickness as well; an attribute that had not been observed by this individual. Richlands had many miscues and mistakes, but the quarterback play would merit a strong A in my opinion.

  3. Its just like the teams - well, I would say it sucks but to be politically correct, the website must be experiencing talent deficitiency difficulties...

     

    Governor Kaine sold Lee County and the Cumberland District to Kentucky last night for 5 packs of Marlboros, 3 cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon, and the title to a '67 Cadillac that was used by Elvis and the Pennington High School homecoming committee.

  4. He was referring to Twin Valley, who has lost 90 percent of their offense...not of their players...

     

    He may have been referring to Siamese Twin Valley's win / loss record.....they will lose 90% of their games this year. The only bright spot will be Coach Crigger winning the hot dog eating contest at Homecoming.

  5. Graham's Football Program has been run straight into the ground by Doug Marrs. I remember the first team he took over after Carlock died was the team that could've went to state but his playbook consists of 4-6 plays that get him no where. Grahams players are very capable of being a good team but there coaching isn't there. Aren't there many coaches on that team that are recent former players from Graham?? That doesn't seem like too much of a great coaching staff. If Bluefield, Va wants Graham to get back to its winning ways then they won't spend money on equipment they don't need, they'll pay for a new coach. And yes some kids in school that should be playing aren't but they kids that want to be COACHED are there and aren't seeing results from hard work.

     

    Eark; loosen them suspenders a bit; you are cutting off the blood running to your brain. The argument whether Doug Marrs is good, bad, great, mediocre, brilliant can (and will) be argued till the day he relinquishes the job. I even recall when the locals were wanting Coach Carlock's scalp. Bluefield Virginia can raise all the money they want to and buy or not buy all the equipment they want to but no amount of money they raise will even remotely have an impact on who coaches the football team......it doesn't work that way.

  6. In both Kentucky and at Pound Cakes, fathers and their sons are both eligible to play high school football. The only requirement is you must have at least 4 of your permanent teeth left before your senior year(s). As long as you don't graduate, you can keep on playing.

  7. Another basketball season has come and passed here in SWVA. It won't pass without first teaching us a few things, some things perhaps we already knew too well.

     

    1) Virginia High's coach is a gambler. I met him at the football game between Chilhowie and VA High and we had a few words. I says, "Coach, can we expect a state quarterfinal appearance out of your 'Cats this year?", He laughed hysterically and choked on his own spit before saying, "If we get that far, I'll make the boys shoot granny style the entire game!" Because he's an honest man, when his team met James River, sure enough they mustered just 21 points off of underhanded shooting. Many of you thought the 'Cats couldn't tell the difference between a basketball goal and a bag of butterscotch candies if you read the write-up, but if you were there, you just saw that its hard to shoot a jump shot like your grandmother would. In fact, VHS's coach had the team practice the granny shots in the last quarter against Castlewood, in which they were held scoreless.

     

    # 1 lesson answer - Kenny Rogers was the original gambler. After the starting five scored less points than they had fingers during the Regional finals and state quarters, look for Ruby to take her love to town. My guess is Granny is the coach next year.

     

     

    2) Layoffs have hit SWVA hard. Really hard. Its been hard times for several people around the area but probably none worse than John Battle's male athletics programs. Having no football wins and only two basketball wins is apparent that JSB was saving up for a new football coach and some more baseball equipment. In fact this past year, JSB sold all their practice basketballs to earn money for a new batting cage. They laid off the entire varsity coaching staff in both football and basketball as well.

     

    #2 lesson answer - JS Bottle Rocket High Skoal was sold today for a new mall off Exit 7. Barnum and Bailey Circus will be the grand opening gig when it opens....swap one circus for another.

     

     

     

    3) Council waits 9 months a year to play basketball. Some of you may not know this, but when a new baby is born in Council, they are brought to the center of the town and blessed with a basketball. But for the last several years it has been Twin Valley with all the basketball glory. The town's council of Council known as the Council Council got together and decided to confront the Nuckles family about making a new brother. The Nuckles' agreed but it will be 14 years before another Nuckles wanders down from the hillside. By the way their naming him Brass... even if its a girl.

     

    #3 lesson answer - Cancel got a knuckle sandwich Saturday.

     

    4) Most SWD fans will tell you that basketball season is that annoying stint of cold weather where no one can play football. This philosophy has trickled in and around the Region IV and partly into Region III. Marion saw this as an opportunity to actually practice this year and yielded a state appearance! Not to take anything away from the Hurricanes' remarkable season, but Region IV regards basketball in the same way it regards chess and pinochle. If someone had said in the beginning that Marion would make a state appearance, several others (including myself) would have laughed themselves into a serious nosebleed and perhaps coma. Kudos to Marion on a fine job. Marion's basketball program was actually going to start a reality show where it competed with John Battle's football program on who could have the most coaching changes in a single decade. Looks like JSB might win something here yet.

     

     

    #4 lesson answer - kudos to the Marionion crazy house administrators who let the nuts out for basketball season. Relax, they are back in their padded cells now.

 
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