Lil’ Leonard’s Losers

[Cousin_Hoyt 88]

Well folks we’re back, almost back. We been rushing around like a bunch of chickens with thar heads whacked off this summer. Uncle Percy has been under the weather, Grandpa Cletus’ Redbone Hound Digger got ran over by some lost fool in a Gator trying to find the Hatfield-McCoy Trail. Them Vets are expensive, too bad you can’t get that pay a dollar office visit for your dog like those lazy people can. However the saddest news is that Grandpa Clovis’ fightin’ rooster Old Phantom flew to that Big Chicken Coop and Fightin’ Pit in the sky. Been a bad summer. Best we get to beatin’ the kickoff time like one reporters beating the deadline at a big newspaper like the Coalfield Progress or The Voice.

GateCity @ Richlands

This game used to be one of the biggest slobber knocker football games in the area. Now, it has lost a lot of the slobber with not as much knocking. Last Richlands put a thumping on The Blue Imps and looked like they were ready to roll like the Big Blue Win Machine of the past. However, they fizzled into the Big Blue Fizzle Machine as the season went on. On the other hand, after a serious butt whippn’ in game 2 by the BobKittens of Radford, Coach Hosswright reshaped and resharpen the Blue Imps into a good season. This year The Blue Imps will be looking forward to giving the The Blue Fizzles a nice home opener like they received last year. We once used Ol’ Phantom, bless his pecking’ heart, to help pick this game because it used to be a hard pick. Not anymore.

Lil’ Leonard’s Loser:

The Blue Fizzles.

John Battle vs. Abington 

Once in every 10 years, or more, The West  Abington Chariot Riders have a decent team. (Doubtful this year.) West Abington is 2 - 29 against the Blue Buzzards in the last 31 years. 2013 was the last year West Abington plucked any Buzzard feathers and we correctly pick that loser. They used to call this game some kind of bowl game. Don’t know if they still do. We don’t know much about the Blue Buzzards, except that they are always arrogant, but they probably have enough to cause a big chariot wreck over on I-81 tonight. If you’re traveling in that area tonight watch out for a bunch of broke down chariots.
 

Lil’ Leonard’s Loser:

Both of these teams

Phelps, KY @ Twin Valley 

This is a matchup of teams trying to survive. We call it The Survival Bowl. The Phelps Hornets haven’t packed much sting in their stinkers for several years now. Phelps no longer qualifies for the state playoffs in football because they don’t play a full district schedule. Ever hear of a team called Pikeville, same district. Last year Twin Valley dropped football after one game, a thumpin’ by Montcalm. We saw a picture of this years’  Knob Cats and only counted 15 players. Looks like Coach “Runs Like A Deer” Crigger and his Knob Cats could be in for a long year or a very short year. If Twin Valley drops football early again this year, Uncle Percy has a suggestion. They need to plow up their football field, plant corn and beans, after the corn and beans are gone, turn it into a Corn Maze and be sure to charge admission.

Lil’ Leonard’s Loser:

Probably Phelps, but the maybe not.

 

Graham/Bluefield, WV at Mitchell 

The Game. The Revenuers, defending 2-A State Champs, 28 - 1 last 2 seasons, are lookin’ forward to another season of butt kickin’. They’ll have a couple of small bumps in the road this year but next week we’ll get to see the big log in the road (Riverheads) when it rolls into Tazewell. But tonight The Revenuers will be out in force to blow up a big Flattail Dam that is blocking the start of another big season. Now the Flattails have not been in their prime the last couple of seasons but in this game who knows what can and will happen. In the past, The Flattails have been use to going deep into the State Playoffs but that hasn’t been the case in recent years. Tonight the Revenuers will be looking to harvest some Prime Flattail Pelts and Flattails will be looking reverse the past few seasons in a big way.

Lil’ Leonard’s Loser:

In a wake up call, The Revenuers

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Liam McPoyle 1,863]

I’m saddened to hear about the passing of Ol’ Phantom. We can take comfort in knowing he’s in a better place.

[Cousin_Hoyt 88]

Thank you Cousin Liam. Good to hear from you.