Leonards_Losers

Northwood @ Holston The Shake-Rattle & Roll Cats from Gpysum Flats will take their road show to the Creepy Trail this Friday. Now this bunch of HIP CATS are sniffing at an Extended Road Tour come November and a win on the Creeper would move The Shaking Cats up from their present spot on the Road Show Tour List to a much better GIG LOCALE. The Creeper Mob is also looking to move up on that same list and understand that a BIG win over the Shaking Cats could boost their chances of holding an ICE CREAM SOCIAL in November. Word has it, that the Ol’ Salt Shaker may take some time off the campaign trail to attend this match up. He can also do some hand pumpin’, kiss a few babies, tell a few tall tales, sell some popcorn. He may even flip the coin. Look for the Shaking Cats to be tuned up for this one but the Creeper Crew will cut the power to the Cats’ amps. Lil’ Leonard’s Loser: Northwood Twin Valley @ Haysi The Pilgrim’s Knob Felines scratched and clawed their way to a big victory over Hannah, WV this past Friday. In Fact. They discovered a way to keep the other team from scoring in a 40-0 win. This win clinched The Interstate Bowl Series Championship for Coach Puddin’ and his Black Felines. Up next is another game in the BDD TIDY CAT BOX TROPHY chase. Coach Puddin’ and his Black Felines travel to The Sandlick to take on Coach Colley and his 6-0 Red Cats. The PK Felines will have to really sharpen their claws for the cat fight. These Red Cats can throw & run. Matter of fact, the only other teams to throw more than Coach Colley over the past 30 plus years are the Univ. of Houston, BYU, and the Canadian Football League. Coach Colley and his Red Cats have been “Bowen†over ever foe this season and are to go 10-0 plus more. Coach Colley and the Red Cats will not cut the PK Cats any slack in this one. Lil’ Leonard’s Loser: Twin Valley Don’t miss the Tigerettes dancing on top of the concession stand to Mustang Sally. That's the truth Rowe. Castlewood @ Lebanon Since the Ol’Devil has left the school on top of the hill at the Mouth of Mew, the once playoff Blue Imps have gone down, down, down to a 1-6 record. The PHEW at the Mouth of MEW has gotten the Buzzards of Buzzards Roost a Circling. The Blue Imps will try and get rid of some of that PHEW Friday night as they travel down the DOGTOWN TURNPIKE to take on the Coonskin Cap Lads. Lebanon lost a close one to Abington last week and well----Ah its was Abingdon and they haven’t been any kind of threat on the town’s cow pasture in recent memory. The Coonskin Cap lads are off to a 2-4 start this year and the best thing we can figure out is that this could be a very UGLY game. It could get so UGLY that they will be skimming UGLY off Little Cedar Creek and Copper Creek till Christmas. Lil’ Leonard’s Loser: Lebanon Uncle Percy insisted that we pick this game because the Lebanon Middle School cancelled (twice) their game with Riverview Middle School for Thursday. The reason this time, so their Middle School football team could ride in the Homecoming parade and there is NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. However, if the Coach and/or whoever does the scheduling knew ahead of time about the parade they should have not picked this date for a make up. You disappointed the Riverview kids and their parents by cancelling. VA High @ Abingdon UH, UH, V High has played a tougher schedule. Abingdon is on a 2 game winning streak (Volunteer, TN 0-7 & Lebanon 2-4) and are soaring higher that a kite. UH, UH, Almost forgot, word is, FAT BOY and his POSSE are going to be selling WEST VIRGINIA FORTUNE COOKIES at this game. Thelma Lou said, “I bet those Whiners & Cheezers have never had any of those for Sunday Brunchâ€. Falconman and Southbound will be passing the Richard’s Wild Irish Rose around after this one. And Fellas, don’t forget to save BigO some. Lil’ Leonard’s Loser: The Blue Buzzards

Lil’ Leonard’s Losers: Week 7 Folks we’re sorry for such a short list of games this week, but that darn fertilizer salesman, Elmer Laboy, tried to run away from his new bride Cousin Faylene. We turned Ol’ Trailer, Lil’ Red, and Monroe loose on his trail and caught up with him in Abingdon trying to hop a Greyhound bus to Mississippi. Sorry we didn’t run into Falconman and Southbound. Grandpas Cleyus and Clovis told Ol' Elmer if he ran agin, they would turn him into a gelding and he could them run to whereever. Holston at Patrick Henry The Cavs will be peddling their two wheelers along the VA Creeper Trail this Friday night to take on the Rebels of the Glade in a Washington Co. showdown. The trail has been long and rough at times this year for the Trailblazers. At times, the Cavs fans have felt like they have been watching old reruns of Matlock starring Sheriff Andy Taylor. On the other side of the Wasper’s Nest, lies the camp of the Baby Blue Rebels. Their season started off with a BANG! However, here of late, their cannons have been silent and the hopes for a winning season are looking dim like wet powder. Sgt. Palmer has some work to do before these Rebels came become a fighting force week in and week out. Word around the closed Appy Trail is several illegal hikers have seen rebel scouts burying jack rocks & thumb tacks along the Creeper Trail to slow the Trailblazers down. Uncle Percy says he hopes the Cavs can win this one. Folks have you ever been to the ICE CREAM SHOP after a big Holston win!!! Lil’ Leonard’s Loser: Patrick Henry Twin Valley at Hannan, WV Coach Puddin’ will be taking his Pilgrim Knob Prowlers on a road trip to Ashton, WV, to take on the 1-4 Hannan Wildcats. The Hanna-Bedanna Cats lost a tough one last week to the Miller High Falcons in Corning, OHIO by a score of 26-20. How about that Folks, a bunch of Falcons that can win. The PK Prowlers and Coach Puddin’ got into a bunch of angry Phelps Hornets last week and escaped without getting strung too bad for a 38-36 victory. The PK Prowlers are showing improvement over last year especially on offense. A win for Coach Puddin’ and the PK Prowlers this Friday night will clinch the INTERSTATE BOWL CHAMPIONSHIP . Look for a wild, fur flying cat fight in this game, with the PK Boys winning it in a close one. And that’s the truth Compton. Remember, the “Truth is always in the Puddingâ€. Lil’ Leonard’s Loser: Hannan Auburn @ Giles Don't believe we have ever did an Auburn Eagle game, but we can't remember the last time the Riner Boys jumped off to a 4-0 start. The year of the Eagle hit some strong headwinds last week at Buena Vista and returned to Riner with their first lost of the season and some Muy Mal Vistas. We don't know much about the Eagles except that you can get a good Buffallo Burger in Riner. However, we do know about the Single-Wang bunch that they will be flying to P-Burg to take on this week. Expect some heavy Cross Buck Winds into P-burg this weekend which will ground the Eagles. Sorry Eagles, but the Single-Wang Waltz may be to much to overcome. Lil' Leonard's Loser: Auburn Lebanon @ Abingdon Well looks like the Blue Buzzards pulled off an upset against Volunteer, TN last week and the Thunderbird and MD 20/20 wines were uncapped all over town. Word is, that Food City had to send a Truck to Grundy to pick up more wine and Food City Cheese for the big celebration at The Martha. This week, the Buzzards take on the Coonskin Cap boys from across the mountain. The Pioneers got ambushed by a bunch of Blue Imps last week and would love to return the favorite to a big bunch of Ugly Blue Buzzards this week. Look for the Buzzards to not take the Coonskin Cap Boys as a threat to snap their win streak. They'll be looking for another Cheese Fest this weekend and Forgit about taking care of business first. Lil' Leonards Loser: Abingdon (Wonder if Falconman still has a headache??) Other Losers: Clintwood, Tazewell(close), Louisa Co., Churchland, Poquoson, W.T. Woodson, Great Bridge, Deep Creek (they'll be in something deep and its not a creek) Ugly Game: GW-Danville @ Patrick Co. The Cougars will look like they hit ever limb as they fell out of the ugly tree. They'll be one bunch of birds that'll win, The Arcadia Firebirds. _____________________________________________________

Well folks, we got off to a great start lastweek.. Bet the Falcons would like to be 4-0. We also had a Great Shotgun Weddin' with Cousin Faylene marrying Elmer Clyde Laboy the fertilizer salesman from Mississippi. Great Food, Great Mountain Mist to drink, whole lot of pickin'and flat footin' and a whole lotsa of fun. Well now for the Pickin': SHELBY VALLEY, KY at GRUNDY Coach Bear Ward and his Crawfish have had the Lower Mill Branch Dam break on them the last two weeks. They have given up 127 points in the last 2 Crawfish contests. The BEAR WARD and his cubs have been working hard this week to plug up the dam with SUPER DUPER BEAVER GLUE. However, they had better hope that the glue is SUPER FAST drying, because the Big Blue Cat Homecoming Bashers are coming back to Buchanan Co. lookin' to bash up another Homecoming. Two weeks ago the Blue Wildcats ripped up the Hurley HC by a score of 42-14 and would like to make another Homecoming Queen cry the BLUES (just like their colors). Since losing to Paintsville 44-38 in OT, the Blue Cats have out scored their foes 86-14 in their last two games. The SV BLUE CATS may not be as tough as the Colley RED CATS, but to be on the safe side the Crawfish had better get one those APCO juice jockeys to get some juice and blow dryers down to the dam, because these cats might have more bite than you think. Lil' Leonards Loser: Grundy Richlands at Bluefield The Pride of Tazewell County with 2 losses, WOW! It might be time to trade their worn down Big Blue Wind Machine in for a new Wind Maker. Last week they struggled in the first half against the V-Cats. Percy said if those Cats would have been in better shape it could have been a different story. The Beavers “Believe†and they believe their damn is Tornado proof. All this week those Beavers have been chewing down Tall Pines to fortify their beloved Lodge. That’s a fancy word for a beaver’s home. Folks, have you ever tried to destroy a Beaver Damn. Just ask (The Duck Commander) Phil Robertson and Uncle Si. They have burned, shot, and blow up several Beaver Damns down south. One could say that they have a doctrine in Beaver Damn demolition. However, those rodents keep coming back. Lil’Lenoards_Loser - Richlands Ocean Lakes at Kempsville Most of the time Percy and I never pull for teams that are named after water critters. Unless it’s a catfish, beaver, or something fried at Long Johns Silvers. However, this week we are putting on our scuba gear and we are going swimming with the Dolphins. Attention: These Dolphins are not the ones trained by Dan Marino either. These Dolphins are from Ocean Lakes and they have several strong flippers. Their opponent this week is the Kempsville Chiefs. All week long the Chiefs have been preparing for their “Bash at the Beachâ€. The community was hoping they could get Andy Reed to coach this one. Aunt Betty Lou, has recently developed a crush for the NFL coach since he has the Kansas boys at 4-0. Just imagine, Coach Reed sun bathing on the beach. Enough said. Look for the Ocean Lakes Skipper Walter “Churchie†Harold and running back Brandon Simmons to swim up and down the coast Friday Night. You might want to get to the Board Walk early, its going to be one heck of a show. Lil’Lenoards_Losers – Chiefs Hurley at Thomas Walker The Rebel Regiment will be packing up early and marching a long distance for this battle. The offensive line are in high spirits since they will have to stop and eat a nice dinner at the Bonanza in Wise. Percy and I always eat the fried okra and soup beans when we stop at that fine establishment. General Tester always feeds his troops well on the road and he knows the value of having a strong and healthy army. The Rebels have been injury prone this season but they are battle tested. They are coming off a big win up in mountains of Craig County and team moral is higher than ever. Thomas Walker has struggled this year. They lost several players to graduation last season and are trying to rebuild their homestead. They will need more than their Long Rifles for this battle. The smart thing to do, is try to ambush General Tester before he arrives in Lee County; Because after Friday night those Rebels will own the Moutains of Lee County. Lil’Leonards_Losers – Thomas Walker Salem vs. Open The Spar-Tans are off to a 3-2 start having lost back to back games to Wm. Byrd and Northside. The Spar-Tans beat up a weak Cave Spring team last week to get some of their strut back. This week, they take on a very good OPEN, WV team that is off to a 5-0 start having given up only one TD (Punt return in the 1st game). Coach Leadbetter give a lot of credit for his team's great start to their pregame meal of FAT BOY'S WEST VIRGINA FORTUNE COOKIES. He says that since they started feeding his team FAT BOY'S WEST VIRGINIA FORTUNE COOKIES, his has had more energy and stamia. Look for the Spar-Tans to lose another one this week. Lil' Leonards Loser: in a Cow Trompin" shut out, SALEM Other Losers: Abingdon, Chantilly, Armstrong, Clover Hill, Windsor, Galax, Castlewood (cow trompin') Phelps, KY Don't forget to buy your FAT BOY'S WEST VIRGINIA FORTUNE COOKIES, main office Cucumber, WV. Outlets in Bradshaw, Gilbert, Keystone and coming soon to The Forks of Guesses Fork.

We're Back!! We would like to say we're sorry for being so late with the prognots, but it as been a Heck Tick Fall. Uncle Percy broke his leg in the Ozark Mtns while we were chasing Cousin Faylene who had ran off with a fertilizer salesman from Tupelo, Miss. You all known what those guys are full of. 4th Cousin Claude Martin Willmore was heart broken. Grandpa Clovis almost kicked the bucket when his 2 favorite coon dogs, Jesse & Al, got caught in the back of the barn doing. (Well, we best not tell anymore). Leonard just got back from going to see the Duck Dynasty Robertsons, but took a wrong turn in Louisiana and ended up in El Paso, Texas. He said they spoke some kind of strange English and couldn't understand a word they were saying. Thelma Lou, Len's wife, would not let him back in the HOUSE. Seems like he had to many chili peppers & refried beans while in El Paso, Too much stinky gas. Haysi at Grundy The Slate Crik Crawdads have staging their on version of "Dancing with the Stars". They Big with the Rebel two step. But this Past Friday, they seemed to have had two left feet during this past Friday's contest with Mikey and the G-Posse. They found out that the Juke, Jive, Dip & Slide Schuffle is a lot harder to learn than the two step. On the other side of the mountain, Coach Colley has been doing the mashed potato, the twist and shout, & flat Footin' to a 3-0 start. The Red Cats will be purring & struttin' on the Slate Crik this Friday. Look for the cats not to get their paws wet as they hang another 10 on another WAVE. Better watch out for that Bowen Cat, they say he's faSSSSt. And the Tigerettes will be stepping high. Leonard's Loser: Grundy Giles at Graham Mikey and the G-Posse are hosting the Single-Wang Lads from P-Burg this Friday. Mikey & the G-Boys put up a lot of points this past Friday after losing a nail biter at Richlands. Mikey and the G-Posse may wish that they had saved a few of those points this for this Friday. The Single-Wang Lads are off to a 3-0 start and are back yo their old RAG ways of hiding the tater. Just ask Blacksburg and Christianburg (they forgot their reading glasses). The Single-Wang is a thing off beauty on real grass, but on plastic grass, its AWESOME. We don't think that Coach Mikey's Salem Ways & the G-Posse schuffle will be able to out do the Single_Wang Waltz as they WALTZ all over Mitchell Stadium. G-Posse fans, don't forgit your binoculars or reading glasses while playing hide the tater. Leonard's Loser: Graham VA High at Richlands The mechanics have been working overtime tinkering all week with a broken down, degraded & embarassed BIG BLUE WIND MACHINE. Its been a while since the BBWM has played a JV team in the 2nd half. Work is it took 2 days to get all the BBWM parts back to Tazewll Co. after running into some bad, bad, bad, wind at Lord Botetourt. Va High has a new coach, new offense, and the same results. But the Bearcats have high hopes that their BAD A#& Break Dancing will be enough to to take down the broken BBWM and strut back across the mtn. However, its homecoming, and while Coach Mance is still looking for a Big Johnson, the BBwm may have enough wind to blow the bearcats back to Bristol. Leonard's Loser: Va High Honaker at Twin Valley "It's the TRUTH, Choo Choo" is what Coach Puddin' will be saying after the 1st CAT FIGHT of the year in the BDD for the TIDY CAT BOX. Coach Puddin' has found a way to put points on the scoreboard, but is lookin' for a way to keep the other teams from scoring more. Need another PORK CHOP Smith. Coach Hubbard and the Neon Orange Cats are off to a 3-0 start, still running the I, still playing a 5-2 Defense, still winning, so why re-invent the wheel. Its been working for over 30 years. If it ain't broken, leave it along. Loks like the Neon Orange cats will take the lead for the Tiday Cat Box. Hey, "THE TRUTH IS IN THE PUDDIN'". Leonard's Loser: Twin Valley Other Losers: Phelps Hornets, Annadale, Frank Cox, Hampton, Bluestone, Gate City, and Falconman & Southbound ( Cousin Faylene sure was sweet on you two fellas. Beaten out by a fertilizer salesman full of crap. No wonder Falcons can't win) Finaaly, a word about our sponsor, FAT BOY'S WEST VIRGINIA FORTUNE COOKIES. Head office in Cucumber, WV, with outlets in Bradshaw Gilbert, Keystone, aand coming soon to the Forks of Guesses Fork.

Christiansburg @ Salem The Evil Empire will invade Bradyville a second this season come this weekend. The Evil Empire was turned back by a 14-13 score at their first attempt to conquer the Bradyville WHINERS. Since the playoffs started, the Evil Empire has been on a ramage and taking no prisoners or names. They have demolished Bassett, a team they only beat by one earlier, and Hidden Valley, who they lost to 28-0 back in Oct. The WHINERS squeaked out a 17-14 whine over PULASKI last week and are practicing hard at some new whines for their 2nd encounter with the Evil Empire this weekend. The Bradyville WHINERS will find out right quick that it is ging to take alot more than whining to the refs and a VHSL hotline to whine this one out. Looks like the Empire won't need to roll out all of the wrestling mats this Monday. Lil Leonards Loser Bradyville Whiners Others Maroons and Trojans

Cave Springs @ Richlands Folks we need to say we're sorry that we left this one off and Boy are we sorry. Aunt Betty Lou got so mad at us for not picking this game, that all we got for supper last night was cold Fat Back and Cold Grits. This morning for breakfast, it was colder Fat Back and Colder Grits. This game is usually for the Region 4 Title but not this one. The DARK KNIGHTS from the Bat Cave have had a very up and down year which landed them in the #4 spot. Most of the DARK KNIGHTS games have been close one way or the other, except for last week's (45-0) "Cow Tromping? or the "Whine and cheeze" Buzzards from Abingdon. This Friday night should be another battle. The BBWM has had a week off to prep for this battle. Caoch Mance and the Mechanics have been making adjustments and fine tuning the BBWM for this encounter. The DARK KNIGHTS put one on the BBWM last year and feel like they can drop the hammer on the BBWM again. "Slick" Cook says not to count the BBWM out yet even though one predictor has the DARK KNIGHTS winning by 15. Can't end this without giving some Aunt Betty Lou Love to the SEXIEST CHAIN CREW (Some might say chain gang) in SWVA. (Aunt Betty Lou says ever) Aunt Bettty Lou says any of that crew could warm her bunions on a cold night, and at the risk of having cold Fatback and grits till next August.. LLL - The DARK KNIGHTS OF GOTHAM CITY

Folks this weekend’s 2nd round of the playoffs looks like watching reruns on TV Land. A total of 23 reruns will be played this weekend. A lot of the games are rematches from this year’s regular season or last year’s playoffs. Some of these games may be like reruns of the BEVERYLY HILLBILLIES, MR. ED, SANDFORD & SON, STAR TREK, while some may be like GUNSMOKE, MIAMI VICE or HAWAII FIVE O. We won’t know who the winner is until the smoke clears, Crockett and Tubbs cuffs them and we hear bok em’ Danno. Stuarts Draft vs. Union No folks this isn’t a Ground Hog Day Edition of Leonard’s Losers, we have another rerun. Last year the Cougars sent the Vik-Dogs home with their tails/swords between their legs. Well this time around; this game will take place in the friendly confines of BULLIT PARK. Expect the Vik-Dogs to repay last year’s two points with interest and send the Cougars back up the interstate lickin’ their wounds. LLL - Stuarts Draft Pulaski County @ Salem This is another rerun from this past season. Salem “THE ORIGINAL WHINERS, won that game 28-14. Last week the Pu Cats mauled Magna Vista by a score of 32-0 which was a bit of a surprise to the LEONARD PICKIN’ CREW since they had lost 34-21 to these same Warriors back in Sept. on the road. This 45 point trun around has gotten Uncle Percy excited about the Pu Cast’s chances in their rematch against the “THE ORIGINAL WHINERSâ€. Because Folks, if there is one team in the OLD COMMONWEALTH that Uncle Percy dislikes, it’s the “THE ORIGINAL WHINERSâ€. Just a mention of the name Salem gets Uncle Percy all fired up. Aback in August, on his way up I-81, he had to stop in Salem to see a man about a BLUE TICK HOUND, gave us a call and told us that those lazy, good for nothing, inline for Obama Handouts Whiners had still not put that fancy little star beside 1996; when they won a so called state championship. That was the year the Whining Brady Bunch got on their hotline phone to the VHSL a whining if they had to go play the Slate Crik Crawdads at Grundy they would be losers and might get some mud on their uniforms. Et in Bradyville, Uncle Percy would be higher than Bent Mountain, Grandpa Clovis would also be a wondering what happen to several of his Jugs of Mountain maiden and most football fans across the state would be a smilin’ on Saturday morning. But I’m afraid the Bradyville Whiners have already used the hotline to the VHSL to cover all their Whiny Arses. LLL – Not the Bradyville Whiners P.S. Folks, Uncle Percy says, that if one is a traveling’ on I-81 Bradyville is a good place to take a dump. Giles @ Battle Coach Wright (A candidate for Lil’ Leonard’s Coach of the Year) = his Exit 7 Chariot Riders are having one of the best seasons ever in Chariot Rider Pigskin History. The Charioteers were flirting with 10-0 until the injury bug took a big bite before the Honaker game. This weekend, the Giles SINGE – WANG fliers into Exit 7 with a running game that most Battle fans have nerve seen. The Chariot Rider defense and fans will at times think they are at an Easter Egg Hunt instead of a football game. Anyone who has seen the SINGLE-WANG CREW play knows what I am talking about. Rumor has it that the Easter Bunny learned how to hide his eggs from Coach Ragsdale. Looks like Easter will come early to Exit 7, but the Chariot Riders and fans will not be finding many eggs this year. LLL – John Battle Haysi @ Clintwood This is one of the reruns we were talking about. Back on the 2nd weekend of the season; the Mean Green put the SMACKDOWN on Coach “Barney Fife†Colley’s Tigers like an Undertaker’s COFFIN MATCH. The Sandlick Tigers licked their wounds; Coach Fife added a few more formations to his playbook of over 1000 formations and went on a BIG impressive win streak over such power houses like the Phelps Hornets and the Mavisdale Maul meow Cats. Wow the SANDLICK TIERS got just about as many playoff bonus points from losing to the Mean Green and Honaker as they did during that 7 game winning streak. Coach Mullins and the Mean Green has been going about business week after week since a season opening lost to Hazard, KY which has advanced to the 3rd round of the Kentucky Single A playoffs. Watching the Mean Green has been like watching reruns on TV Land. The Mean Green scores 40-50 plus, give up a score or two. Look for OL†Coach Meade’s grandson to pile up a bunch of yards and a few TD’s and the rest of the Mean Green Crew to add a bunch of yards and TDs to that too. By halftime Coach “Barney Fife†Colley and his SANDLICK TIGERS will thing they have encountered the KLINGONS from a STAR TREK rerun and will be hollering “Beam us back to Sandlick, Scotty…..beam us back to Sandlickâ€. But they will discover that the Transporter is down and Scotty is in the back finishing off a cold one watching reruns of the Andy Griffith Show on TV Land. LLL – Aunt B and Company……. Galax @ Honaker After all these years Uncle Percy has formulated an equation for the Organe Tigers of Yore. Play a soft schedule, get beat by Richlands, and lose in the 2nd round of the play-offs. I hope they vacuum off the turf for the Peoples that is coming this week. This Peoples rushed for 195 yards on 13 carries and scored 4 times for the Coffee Makers from Galax. The Coffee Makers tallied up a total of 540 yards of total offense. (And) If Hubbard broke down the film, he would have seen 2 long touchdowns called back and maybe??? one interception called back by the same Peoples. Clovis says the Coffee Makers my 3, Lil’ Leonard’s says the Coffee Makers 42-13. Don’t worry Hubbard Clintwood decided to go to the Cumberland, Percy say’s your equation will work next year too... LLL - Honaker

Too many ugly games this week Abindon @ Cave Spring Well folks its playoff time in SWVA and look what STRUTTED in through the back door. Looks like we’ll have to hear certain Buzzard fans, Ah, what’s that fancy work Bill O’Reilly uses, Blow-Ve-ate, Blue-Ve-et, Ha, you all know that work that means blow up a 50 pound onion sack. We are actually glad the Buzzards made it; really, it’s the truth Big O and Falconman. Because after looking at some of these 1st round match-ups, writing about you Buzzards makes it so much easier. Well, anyway the Buzzards have looked like world beaters at times this season (PH, Happy Valley, Lebanon) butt have come up so short against the Big Dogs. This week they will take a scenic detour up I-81 before heading south till next August to take on the Dark Knights of the Roanoke Valley. The Dark Knights have been down and up all season like a yo-yo. But seems they have put the right spin on things at the end of the season for the playoffs. The “Whine and Cheezers†will find out right quick that the Dark Knights will knock the Whine out of them. Look at it this way Buzzard fans, you’re going to get a Butt Kicking, but you can stop off in Salem, the home of the original Whiners and maybe pick up some new excuses for next season. LLL – Buzzards Southbound, Falconman or Big O, Cousin Pabjab wants to know if he can hitch a ride south with one of you all. He works for the circus and needs to ketch up with hem down south. Thanks LL Castlewood @ Haysi All week long, the head DEVIL has been training his boys like Rocky trained in Rocky 4. They have been chopping wood, bench pressing old Ford Pinto’s, running up snowing mountains, and chasing chickens (while screaming Colleeeey-Colleeeeeey). The Tigers are no Drago but they have gotten better each week. The Tigers like to lick their paws and throw the tator around. The also can run the pumpkin’ with the Blue Rebel, well that’s what Percy calls him. The tail of the tape, if Castlewood plays like they did last week they go to Clintwood. If Haysi completes some on those NCAA 2012 Hail Mary passes early it could be a long day for the head DEVIL. Remember, whoever wins goes to Clintwood the next week. LLL - Haysi

Ft. Chiswell at Graham Uncle Percy’s Game of the Week. Remember wherever Uncle Percy and Grandpas Clovis & Cletus go, it’s goin’ to be a good one. #1 Division 2 leader Ft. Chiswell travels to Mitchell to try & clinch a district title from #3 Division 2 Graham. Both teams are having good seasons and could go deep into the playoffs. Sheriff Williams and the G-Posse will be fired up for this one like they were for the flat tails. The Pioneers will be loaded up with extra powder for this shootout. Uncle Percy says there will be more fireworks going off this Friday than Saturdays on Beaver Knob. Uncle Percy said not only will it be a great game but should be a heck of a 50/50 draw. LLL – The G Posse Honaker at Grundy This is another one of those games where the favorite might be looking ahead. The Drill Cats have had a good season so fare. Coach Hubbard’s run left, run up the middle; run right offense has crushed 7 of 8 foes this year and is expected to add another BDD Trophy to the glass case. The Crawdads, after high hopes in August are hoping to break even in November. Coach “BEAR WARD†is hoping the Drill Cats are looking ahead to next week’s CAT FIGHT with the Sandlick Tiggers and catch them talking a Catnap. Crik Fans, if the crawdads pull of the upset they will earn a bunch of playoff points and possibly win an extended season trip to some exotic places like Ft. Chiswell or Fishersville. Coach “BEAR†had better break out the Blue and Gold hounds tooth hat, because a win may take the crawdads to places they’ve never been. LLL – Honaker Abindgon @ Tazwell Uncle Percy was talking about a football article on the Abingdon “Whine†and Cheezers that he had read in the “The Bluetick Gazetteâ€. Seems the BlueTick paper had reprinted an article from some newspaper in Washington Co. on last week’s ABINDON + RICHLANDS game. The HEADLINE, ACCORDING TO THE BUZZARD TOWN WHINERS, WAS “It’s not our fault we lost; it’s the other team’s fault we lost.†Sounds like something from the OBAMA/BIDEN Campaign. Blame it on somebody else, I guess Greg Mance might pass for George W. Bush. Well, anyway, the Buzzards will be flocking to Tazewell this Friday night looking for some road kill. But they may be in for a bit of a surprise. The Folks from Tip Top to Horse Pen to Burkes Garden to Stony Ridge are simlin’ like Grandpa Clovis’ mule Weezy Eatin’ Sawbrars because of last weeks big win over Lebanon. The Buzzards are probably looking ahead to next week’s game against Marion and figure to pluck an easy win at the Dog Pound. The Whiners would be doin’ the pluckin’ this week but they’ll be doin’ all the whining as Tazewell plucks their FEATHERS. LLL - Buzzards

Folks welcome to a most solemn 8th edition of Lil_Leonards’s Losers. It pains me to tell you this, but Grandpa Clovis’ ol’ hog Silas passed away. I remember Silas when he was just a piglet rooting around in the yard. Why Lord we watched him grow in to a Fine Hog. He never allowed a snake near the house and always washed in the creek before he laid on the porch. Due to our period of grief for Silas, this will be a brief edition of Lil’Leonards Loser. Please keep Granda Pa Clovis in your prayers. Old Silas leaves behind two racks of ribs, a couple of big lams, some fine shoulder, enough bacon and sausage to choke a mule, and four of the finest pigs feet you’ll ever taste. There will be a service for Silas at the Kiwanis Park in Haysi. If you can’t find it, just follow the smell of hickory. Now let’s get down to the picks. Winless Martinsville @ Winless Patrick County Who would have ever thunk it….that Martinsville would be OOOFER this late in the season. LLL – Winless Patrick County Carroll County @ Richlands BBWD getting back to form. LLL – Carroll County Gate City @ Va. High Hate to go against those Buzzard Killing Bearcats. But word from the Scott County Fair is that the aliens have returned some of those Big and Fast Devils. LLL – Va High East Ridge @ Grundy Grundy has given up 40 + points their last 3 games. East Ridge has not won since their opener. Should be an easy homecoming victory for the Golden Boys. LLL – East Ridge UGLY GAME’S Bland County @ Grayson County Twin Springs @ Eastside Haysi at Twin Valley LLL – NOT THE CONCESSION STANDS….may run out of powdered sugar for the funnel cakes. Other losers: J.I. Burton Chilhowie Patrick Henry Northwood Rye Cove Lee Central Wise Tazewell

Devil Week Grayson Co. @ Graham This Saturday the Grayson Co. Blue Devils will roll out of the East River Mountain Tunnel with their pitchforks sharpen and their hair on fire. The Grayson IMPS have had an extra week to get ready for the G-Posse and should be healed up after the smackdown Clintwood put on them. This is a big game for both teams as it will be the District opener for both. Sheriff Williams & the G-Posse had a BIG WEEKEND last week as they clinched the Mercer Mall Trophy with a victory at Princeton, WV. Word is that the victory party at Cotton’s lasted until the Roosters started crowing. Now Sheriff Williams and the G-Posse had better have their game faces on for this one. These DEVILS are as slippery as the catfish in Uncle Wichita’s Fish Pond and can score quick and often. The DEVILS would love to prick and leave their mark on the G-POSSE’S behinds, but Sheriff Williams will have his Posse ready and will send these rowdy bunch back through the tunnel with their IMP TAILS dragging. LLL – Grayson Co. Castlewood @ Twin Springs Touchdown Davey Boy Scammell is still soaring higher than the Buzzards on “Buzzard’s Roost†after Castlewood’s big victory over the Slate Crik Crawdads last Friday Night. The Banner Corner Devils appear to be getting their act together after a rough start and the OL†Devil showed he still has a burst of speed as he beat everyone to the 20 yard line on Edmonds’ 83 yard TD run. However, Davey Boy and his little devils has better not be looking past the Titains of the Twin Springs. Even though they are off to one of the worst starts around, they still have a way of sneaking up on the Banner Corner Devils. Must be a Corn Ridge Thing. LLL – Titan of the Twin Springs John Battle @ Gate City The hottest team in Southwest Virginia is on the road this week traveling to what once was a hostel place to play. After several alien abductions and crop circle carving the Devils are looking forward to next season. Battle is playing fundamental football and folks thats hard to beat. Uncle Percy has bought all the Forrest Green Polo’s he could find. You folks know how Percy’s rolls, whoever is winning, Percy gets on the Bandwagon. Look for WCYB to be bleeding forest green and yellow. LLL – Gate City Game of the Week This game is brought to you by Charlie’s Coon Dog Shampoo--- Folks on a cool night hunt it’s always nice to have your huntin’ dogs smelling fine. With our highly tested and recommended shampoo, you will double your trail dog production (Guaranteed). Try our new Midnight moonlight scent – it’s a special blend of raccoon hair and oak tree bark substitute mixed with maple scented soap. Grundy vs. Meadow Bridge The going has been tough for the Slate Crik Crawdads. So far they haven’t been able to get a big W on any opponent that ain’t from Bucanistan. Last year, this game was tighter than Ant Lilly on yard sale Friday. Word is the Men of the Meadow are looking for some revenge on the Crawdads after Coach Ward and his lads ruined homecoming, but them Crawdads are tough to beat at home. LLL – Meadown Bridge

Welcome back folks to the 6th edition of Leonard’s Losers 2012. We’ve got picks on the way, but first a couple of words from our sponsors. Dave down at Dave’s outhouse Emporium really wanted to thank you folks for the strong showing after last week. Business picked up so much he had to get one of those new fangled telephones. Remember, if you need to contact Dave simply call (304) 555-TURD. This week’s show is brought to you by Sammy Dean’s Custom Dog Boxes. Is your hound embarrassed about that old shabby dog box? Are you too ashamed to hunt with your buddies? Well folks Sammy Dean’s Custom Dog Boxes has just what you are looking for. Whether you draw a big check or are on a working mans budget, Sammy can put your hound in the box he has always dreamed about. Just to let you in on a little secret, if you call Dave’s today and mention you heard about him from Leonard and Percy, you will receive 15% off the purchase of any box from Sammy Dean’s four wheeler friendly Grand Lite Champion line. Honaker (5-0) vs Richlands Doug Hubbard has his KIT KATS as crispy as some good ol’ fat back bacon on a nice cool Sunday morning. The Tigers have turned away all opponents this season and is in the hunt for another BDD Crown this season. Its no secret what the Tigers like to do, run right, run left, run up the middle and run some more. The BBWM is still the team to beat in the SWD. Coach Mance and his Mechanics have been adjusting and testing their high octane offense all week. Folks, both teams like to play on plastic grass and both teams have a rich tradition of winning. It’s the BDD’s best against the best in Southwest Virginia. Ol’ Leonard says its Honaker’s turn, to turn some heads. Sorry Blues, but Ol’ Hubbard is going to have a Blue, Blue, Blue, Blue Xmas this year. Had to throw that in folks, that’s Percy’s favorite Xmas song. LLL - BBWM Abingdon @ John Battle The Blue Buzzards are flying high this week with their feathers all fluffed out and beaks held high. This Friday they’ll be doing the “BUZZARD STRUT†down Highway 11 with the FALCONMAN + SOUTHBOUND riding shotgun in the “WHINER AND CHHEEZER†parade to EXIT 7. However when they get to EXIT 7 this year, they will not be finding any Wally World Rolled Back Prices or any other specials. What they will find is a bunch of AGILE, MOBILE, AND HOSTILE Chariot Riders on a Mission. The Exit 7 Chariot Riders have rode over all opponents this season and are taking no prisoners. When the dust settles this Friday night, the Buzzards will know what it means to be rolled back. The only Struttin’ the Buzzards will be doin’ on Friday Night is over to the Bath and Beauty Store after being hit by these Chariots. LLL - Abingdon Traffic Warning if you’re driving around Exit 7 Friday Night – Slow Down - and watch out for Buzzards falling from the sky. Grundy @ Castlewood In what has the POtential to be a real barn burner, The Slate Crick Crawdads will be squaring off against Touchdown Davy Scammell and his “other†Blue Devils. Last year at the Bend of Slate, this game was tighter than Percy’s breeches after Sunday supper and you should expect more of the same this year. Ol’ Percy even thinks this might come down to the actions of the crawdad with the Golden Toe. There is no doubt that Coach Scammell, who used to pack the tator for the crawdads himself, wants this one bad. Look for a school house toilet paper thin margin in this one. LLL - Castlewood Clintwood @ Union Folks this could very well be the game of the week. The Clintwood PSA is on a Tidal Roll and the ImBoden Bears have been ripping things apart this year. The GAVAN MEADE, Ol’ coach Meade’s Grand youngun, has been running and surfing the Green Tidal Wave all season. But this will be no push over for the PSA. “Bear†Baugh and his line will be up to ripping holes in the BIG GREEN WAVE D. But look for the Green Tidal Wave to wear down the Bears in the end. LLL – in a close one, Union Gate City @ Bluefield, WV Looks like another bad night for Devils, even if the aliens have returned all the ABDUCTED BIG AND Fast Devils. LLL – Gate City Graham @ Princeton, WV Sheriff Williams and the G-Posse capture the Mercer Mall Trophy, as they cage a bunch of Tigers. LLL – Princeton, WV

Folks this week Lil Leonard’s Loser is proud to be brought to you by a new sponsor: Dave’s Outhouse Emporium. Located on friendly Johnny Cake Mountain, Dave’s Outhouse Emporium is you home for all you outdoor plumbing needs. Remember folks “One Hole or Two, Dave’s can help youâ€. Northwood @ Chilhowie It is a exciting time in Chilhowie. Not only are the Boys from Salt-Vegas coming to town to take on the Apple Dumplin’ Gang, but the famous Chilhowie Apple Festival is starting to really get rollin’. The Apple Festival is one of the highlights of Percy’s year. Last year ol’ Percy must have ate five pounds of them delicious fried apples. He really enjoyed it at the time, but regretted in on the way home. He almost ruined his new Mossy Oak seat cover and could have definitely used some Doctor’s Proctor’s Fart Powders. Normally me and Percy would be going with the Boys from Salt Vegas, but with the Gang on a cider fueled fever pitch all bets are off. Lil Leonard’s Loser – Northwood Rye Cove @ Castlewood WAREAGLES! WAR EAGLES! Oh, sorry wrong Eagles, this Clinchport Terns will be making a flight through MEW this Friday to the Devil’s Den. The Clinchport Terns are coming off a victory over the Hancock, TN Indians and have had two weeks to prepare for Devil Dave’s Devilish tricks. Devil Dave and the rest of his Devils are suffering the Blues from a rough 1-3 start. But the OL’ Devil has been working late into the night trying to repair and straighten out his pitchfork and get his IMPS ready. The Clinchport Terns have been known to air it out and a few Hill to Chapman Bombs. But Devil Dave and his Imps will pull enough tricks too prevent the Clichport Birds from having a victory party on BUZZARDS ROOST. Lil Leonard’s_Loser – Rye Cove Abingdon @ Happy Valley, TN The A-Town Whiners and Cheezers will be taking the WHINING CONTEST on the road this Friday Night to the Happy Valley of Carter County. The Blue Buzzards will be trying to avenge last year’s 13-10 Lost to the Warriors and have had 2 weeks to prepare since they got dunked by the Apple Dumpling Gang. The Happy Warriors have lost 3 in a row and are 1-4 on the season. Looks like the Blue Buzzards have a good chance to even their record to 2-2. Even Southbound and Falconman are simling this week instead of whining. Looks like a good week for the THUNDERBIRD SIPPERS AND FOOD CITY CHEESE NIBBLERS. After much debate and looking at it from every possible angle and a couple of jugs of Grandpa Clovis’ finest which could have affected our common sense. Lil_Leonards_Loser – Happy Valley But it the Buzzards blow it, Ol’Lance will have to add more bites to the side for the whining. Grundy @ Haysi The Crawdads from Buchanan County’s most famous curve are setting 2-0 in district play. Coach “BEAR†Ward looks like he is holding the KEYS to the driver’s seat in the BDD. Having already won the Buchanan County Championship look for these crawdads to migrate up the Russell Fork put their pinchers on a bunch of Blue tigers. With two weeks to prepare the Crawdads defense should be as strong as the John Williams Flannagan Damn. The Sandlick Rebel Cats have not been the Meow Mix that the Ol’ ball coach thought it would have been so far. Last week The Rebel Cats never got out of the litter box on offense or defense. Eastside ran through’em, around’em, and over’em. The Crawdads have a fast crawdad that runs real hard. This doesn’t happen very often but Haysi drops 2 in a row…. Lil_Leonards_Loser -- Haysi

Folks, Doctor Proctor wanted us to tell you that his new Scented Fart Powders will be hittin’ the market soon. The Field tests in Abingdon and Salem were a huge success. When People consume that much cheese, you’re going to get a lot of windy whining. Aunt Betty Lou rode through Abingdon last week and told us that someone had a late Strawberry patch around the Martha and Barter. So, Folks get your Doctor Proctor Fart Powders today. Regular or Scented (coming soon). Lebanon @ Gate City Folks we have heard for years that the MAYUNS predicted the world would end in 2012. Well, Percy ain’t seen the first sign of fire and brimstone, but something apocalyptic is sure happening down in Scott County. For as long as even old Grandpa Clovis can remember, the Blue Devils have struck terror in the hearts of Bearcats, Trojans, Generals, and even a Tornado or two. It seems like this year they would be lucky to scare a Blue Buzzard off a hot rock. The boys in the Ground Hog Hat Boys have a mixed bag. Last week they had a big Bear hunt planned, but ended up on the wrong end of a mauling. This week shapes of to be a good match up, but expect the Pioneers to bag one of the most elusive creatures of all: A Blue Devil Lil Leonard’s Loser -- Gate City Haysi @ Eastside The Eastside Spartans will be strapping on the armor and sharpening up their swords Friday to do battle with Coach James Colley and his might Tiggers. Lots of folks around Martha’s Place are saying that Coach Colley might be the Belle of the Black Diamond this year. The Tiggers are a consolidated team with the high flying acrobatics of Haysi and the power brought to the show by a hard running ex-Rebel. Eastside is the odds on favorite to win the Cumberland this year and while Friday’s game won’t have any bearing on that conquests, but it will definitely be a big test for the Spartans when the Circus comes to town. Percy’s looking for a hard fought game, but in the end Coach Colley probably has a couple of dozen too many formations for the Spartans to wrap their helmets around. LLL--Eastside Hurley @ East Ridge Last week Hurley whipped the G-town Ramblers up and down and back down the field drive after drive. The only problem was the Rebels kept letting go of the rocks at the Cliff. Hurley fumbled 5 times losing a heartbreaker 10-8 to their cross county rival Grundy. Their defense stood strong like Stone Wall Jackson did back when men were men, just letting the Ramblers gain a total of 9 rushing yards and 57 yards passing. This week the Soldiers from Rock House will march their brigade into Eastern Kentucky to pick a fight with a hostel East Ridge Warriors squad. East Ridge bought a can of Raid Hornet spray last week and wiped out a nest of Phelps Hornets. This week they’ll be tryin’ to even their record by settin’ up an ambush of the Rebs at Mouthcard. If the Rebs give an effort this week like last Friday against the Crik Crawdads, they’ll be marching home after the game a singin When Johnny Comes Marchin’ Home, HurraH/HurraH. But if they don’t, it could be the Mouthcard Massacre. Lil_Leonards_Loser – East Ridge Virginia High @ Union We like the Bearcats, because they know how to pluck and stuff Blue Buzzards. However since their success on the opening day of Buzzard Season the CATS have broken a few claws and have struggled. They’ve been hit by Chariots and got their behinds horned by some Vikings and this Friday thangs don’t look much better as they try to Out Claw a bunch of GRIZZLIES. The IMBODEN Bears have taken Uncle Percy’s saying”If you’re going to be a bear, be a GRIZZLY BEAR” to heart. Because, they have started the season on a roaring rampage, just ask Coach Mance about his Bear Hunting adventure. The Bearcats will try to out fox’em but they just won’t have enough for “Bear” Baugh and the rest of these rampaging bears. Lil_Leonards_Loser – Va High Twin Valley @ Tug Valley, WV The Mavisdale Maul Cats of Coach “It’s the truth, Rowe” are taking an out of state adventure to wild and wonderful NAUGATUCK, West Virginia this Friday. So far this season the Maul Cats have been dunked in the Crik, trampled by the Generals, and mauled by a bunch of angry Panther from the Salt Valley. The NAUGATUCK CATS are off to a decent start this season. The only set back or should we say, out clawing was by the CATS of Meadow Bridge. This past Friday the Cats from Naugatuck delanced a bunch of Golden Knights from Welch. We don’t know much about the Cats from NAUGATUCK except that they are ranked in the TOP 16 Single A WV Poll. That’s enough to tell us that this is another CAT FIGHT that the Maul Cats will come out on the short end of the stick and FOLKS, THAT IS THE TRUTH. Lil_Leonards_Loser – T Valley other losers Raiders Grayson

Folks, we are proud to have OL’ Rooster Brand Coffee as our sponsor this week. OL’ ROOSTER Brand Coffee is the coffee that’ll put a little extra hop in your step and help you crow all night. Just ask Coach Mance or any of his Blue Mechanics, OL’ Rooster Brand is what they brew when they’re puttin’ in the OT. Gate City @ Sullivan South Looks like those aliens have not returned any of those abducted Blue Devils. Because when was the last time you ever heard of a Gate City team getting beat 56-0 with 0 total yards of offense (-26 in the 1st half and +26 in the 2nd half according to the BHC). Coach “HOSSWRIGHT” hopes this weeks’ intrusion into Tennessee will bring better results than last week’s adventure to Harlan, Kentucky. High hopes are one thing but slow and small just won’t get it done. It’ll be another bad week for the Devils and the Legion Field Crazies. Lil_Leonards_Losers – Blue Devils Grundy @ Hurley Word from up on the Crik is that Coach “Bear” Ward has already made a spot in the trophy case for his 2nd Buchanan County Championship Trophy. Look for a packed crowd at the Cliff. Four-wheeler valet parking will be available for those of you who have to park at the Middle School. Lil_Leonards_Losers – Not the concession stand --- Have you ever et one of those RIGHT HAND FORK OF GUESSES FORK Funnel Cake??? Richlands @ Graham Uncle Percy has always said, “If you’re going to be a BEAR, BE A GRIZZLY BEAR”. Coach Mance and his Big Blue Wind Machine sure understand what that means after last Friday Night. Coach Mance and his BBWM escaped a BEAR MAULIN’ by a hair as thin as those on the OL’ SALTSHAKER’S head. Coach Mance and the Blue Mechanic staff have been putting in the OT this week to get the KINKS out of the BBWM before blowing into Mitchell Stadium this Friday. Why? Because Sheriff Williams is cuffing and stuffing everybody just like Sheriff Roscoe P. Coletrain. The Posse has already smacked the Beavers around for half of the Mercer Mall Trophy and after clipping the Bulldogs’ tails last Friday they are looking to clinch the Tazewell County Championship this Friday. Sheriff Williams and the Posse will be ready to ambush Coach Mance and his BBWM as they blow into town. But then a lot of folks have been trying to derail the BBWM for several years. Look for the BBWM to ride through town and scatter the G-Men all up and down the parking lot of Wal-Mart. Lil_Leonads_Losers – Graham Chilhowie @ Abingdon Percy’s sophisticated cousin La-Roi has been a busy man this week. He worked 2nd shift down at the taco joint in Abingdon and the BUZZARDS have been bustin’ the door down since Friday, looking for his special 6 pack of Victory Tacos. The excitement in Abingdon has been at a fever pitch since ever since their beloved BUZZARDS Best the Men of Glade Springs. A short way up I-81 (as the Buzzard Flies) the Apple Dumpling Gang has been peeled, sauced, and fried this season. After two losses to open up the season, The Gang is hungry for a W. A lot of folks around here think the Buzzards have earned their STRIPES, but that won’t be enough this week. Look for the Apple Dumpling Gang to put up a bushel basket of points. Lil_Leonards_Losers – BUZZARDS Lee @ J.I. Burton For years Lee County has been known for the best tobacco this side of the Mississippi. Rumor has it after last weeks performance from the T-Walking Mountaineers, the local farmers have invested in tons of SUGAR CAIN seeds for next years harvest. The Generals let CAIN bring the PAIN by letting him rush for over 300 yards in one game. (That my folks is impressive) This week the Generals face another worthy opponent. The Vigilantes from Gotham City are looking like the Vigilantes of old. Speed and Power they say in the City. Grandpa Clovis says, “They are steal Limousine driving, JET Flying, Kiss stealing Son of a Guns, just like Ric Flair was in the 1980’s. Look for the Generals to be sipping on some warm Crowder Soup on their way home around 10:00 o’clock Friday night. Lil_Leonards_Losers – Lee Union @ Lebanon Lebanon was impressive last week by sending the G Town Ramblers home with their first loss of the season. This week the Pioneers better wash their groundhogs caps and clean their rifles, because a VERY MEAN, UPSET, AND NASTY Grizzly is coming to Russell County. Folks this could get UGLY, VERY UGLY real quick. Lil_Leonards_Losers – Groundhog Caps