Leonards_Losers

Northwood @ Holston The Shake-Rattle & Roll Cats from Gpysum Flats will take their road show to the Creepy Trail this Friday. Now this bunch of HIP CATS are sniffing at an Extended Road Tour come November and a win on the Creeper would move The Shaking Cats up from their present spot on the Road Show Tour List to a much better GIG LOCALE. The Creeper Mob is also looking to move up on that same list and understand that a BIG win over the Shaking Cats could boost their chances of holding an ICE CREAM SOCIAL in November. Word has it, that the Ol’ Salt Shaker may take some time off the campaign trail to attend this match up. He can also do some hand pumpin’, kiss a few babies, tell a few tall tales, sell some popcorn. He may even flip the coin. Look for the Shaking Cats to be tuned up for this one but the Creeper Crew will cut the power to the Cats’ amps. Lil’ Leonard’s Loser: Northwood Twin Valley @ Haysi The Pilgrim’s Knob Felines scratched and clawed their way to a big victory over Hannah, WV this past Friday. In Fact. They discovered a way to keep the other team from scoring in a 40-0 win. This win clinched The Interstate Bowl Series Championship for Coach Puddin’ and his Black Felines. Up next is another game in the BDD TIDY CAT BOX TROPHY chase. Coach Puddin’ and his Black Felines travel to The Sandlick to take on Coach Colley and his 6-0 Red Cats. The PK Felines will have to really sharpen their claws for the cat fight. These Red Cats can throw & run. Matter of fact, the only other teams to throw more than Coach Colley over the past 30 plus years are the Univ. of Houston, BYU, and the Canadian Football League. Coach Colley and his Red Cats have been “Bowen†over ever foe this season and are to go 10-0 plus more. Coach Colley and the Red Cats will not cut the PK Cats any slack in this one. Lil’ Leonard’s Loser: Twin Valley Don’t miss the Tigerettes dancing on top of the concession stand to Mustang Sally. That's the truth Rowe. Castlewood @ Lebanon Since the Ol’Devil has left the school on top of the hill at the Mouth of Mew, the once playoff Blue Imps have gone down, down, down to a 1-6 record. The PHEW at the Mouth of MEW has gotten the Buzzards of Buzzards Roost a Circling. The Blue Imps will try and get rid of some of that PHEW Friday night as they travel down the DOGTOWN TURNPIKE to take on the Coonskin Cap Lads. Lebanon lost a close one to Abington last week and well----Ah its was Abingdon and they haven’t been any kind of threat on the town’s cow pasture in recent memory. The Coonskin Cap lads are off to a 2-4 start this year and the best thing we can figure out is that this could be a very UGLY game. It could get so UGLY that they will be skimming UGLY off Little Cedar Creek and Copper Creek till Christmas. Lil’ Leonard’s Loser: Lebanon Uncle Percy insisted that we pick this game because the Lebanon Middle School cancelled (twice) their game with Riverview Middle School for Thursday. The reason this time, so their Middle School football team could ride in the Homecoming parade and there is NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. However, if the Coach and/or whoever does the scheduling knew ahead of time about the parade they should have not picked this date for a make up. You disappointed the Riverview kids and their parents by cancelling. VA High @ Abingdon UH, UH, V High has played a tougher schedule. Abingdon is on a 2 game winning streak (Volunteer, TN 0-7 & Lebanon 2-4) and are soaring higher that a kite. UH, UH, Almost forgot, word is, FAT BOY and his POSSE are going to be selling WEST VIRGINIA FORTUNE COOKIES at this game. Thelma Lou said, “I bet those Whiners & Cheezers have never had any of those for Sunday Brunchâ€. Falconman and Southbound will be passing the Richard’s Wild Irish Rose around after this one. And Fellas, don’t forget to save BigO some. Lil’ Leonard’s Loser: The Blue Buzzards

Lil’ Leonard’s Losers: Week 7 Folks we’re sorry for such a short list of games this week, but that darn fertilizer salesman, Elmer Laboy, tried to run away from his new bride Cousin Faylene. We turned Ol’ Trailer, Lil’ Red, and Monroe loose on his trail and caught up with him in Abingdon trying to hop a Greyhound bus to Mississippi. Sorry we didn’t run into Falconman and Southbound. Grandpas Cleyus and Clovis told Ol' Elmer if he ran agin, they would turn him into a gelding and he could them run to whereever. Holston at Patrick Henry The Cavs will be peddling their two wheelers along the VA Creeper Trail this Friday night to take on the Rebels of the Glade in a Washington Co. showdown. The trail has been long and rough at times this year for the Trailblazers. At times, the Cavs fans have felt like they have been watching old reruns of Matlock starring Sheriff Andy Taylor. On the other side of the Wasper’s Nest, lies the camp of the Baby Blue Rebels. Their season started off with a BANG! However, here of late, their cannons have been silent and the hopes for a winning season are looking dim like wet powder. Sgt. Palmer has some work to do before these Rebels came become a fighting force week in and week out. Word around the closed Appy Trail is several illegal hikers have seen rebel scouts burying jack rocks & thumb tacks along the Creeper Trail to slow the Trailblazers down. Uncle Percy says he hopes the Cavs can win this one. Folks have you ever been to the ICE CREAM SHOP after a big Holston win!!! Lil’ Leonard’s Loser: Patrick Henry Twin Valley at Hannan, WV Coach Puddin’ will be taking his Pilgrim Knob Prowlers on a road trip to Ashton, WV, to take on the 1-4 Hannan Wildcats. The Hanna-Bedanna Cats lost a tough one last week to the Miller High Falcons in Corning, OHIO by a score of 26-20. How about that Folks, a bunch of Falcons that can win. The PK Prowlers and Coach Puddin’ got into a bunch of angry Phelps Hornets last week and escaped without getting strung too bad for a 38-36 victory. The PK Prowlers are showing improvement over last year especially on offense. A win for Coach Puddin’ and the PK Prowlers this Friday night will clinch the INTERSTATE BOWL CHAMPIONSHIP . Look for a wild, fur flying cat fight in this game, with the PK Boys winning it in a close one. And that’s the truth Compton. Remember, the “Truth is always in the Puddingâ€. Lil’ Leonard’s Loser: Hannan Auburn @ Giles Don't believe we have ever did an Auburn Eagle game, but we can't remember the last time the Riner Boys jumped off to a 4-0 start. The year of the Eagle hit some strong headwinds last week at Buena Vista and returned to Riner with their first lost of the season and some Muy Mal Vistas. We don't know much about the Eagles except that you can get a good Buffallo Burger in Riner. However, we do know about the Single-Wang bunch that they will be flying to P-Burg to take on this week. Expect some heavy Cross Buck Winds into P-burg this weekend which will ground the Eagles. Sorry Eagles, but the Single-Wang Waltz may be to much to overcome. Lil' Leonard's Loser: Auburn Lebanon @ Abingdon Well looks like the Blue Buzzards pulled off an upset against Volunteer, TN last week and the Thunderbird and MD 20/20 wines were uncapped all over town. Word is, that Food City had to send a Truck to Grundy to pick up more wine and Food City Cheese for the big celebration at The Martha. This week, the Buzzards take on the Coonskin Cap boys from across the mountain. The Pioneers got ambushed by a bunch of Blue Imps last week and would love to return the favorite to a big bunch of Ugly Blue Buzzards this week. Look for the Buzzards to not take the Coonskin Cap Boys as a threat to snap their win streak. They'll be looking for another Cheese Fest this weekend and Forgit about taking care of business first. Lil' Leonards Loser: Abingdon (Wonder if Falconman still has a headache??) Other Losers: Clintwood, Tazewell(close), Louisa Co., Churchland, Poquoson, W.T. Woodson, Great Bridge, Deep Creek (they'll be in something deep and its not a creek) Ugly Game: GW-Danville @ Patrick Co. The Cougars will look like they hit ever limb as they fell out of the ugly tree. They'll be one bunch of birds that'll win, The Arcadia Firebirds. _____________________________________________________

Well folks, we got off to a great start lastweek.. Bet the Falcons would like to be 4-0. We also had a Great Shotgun Weddin' with Cousin Faylene marrying Elmer Clyde Laboy the fertilizer salesman from Mississippi. Great Food, Great Mountain Mist to drink, whole lot of pickin'and flat footin' and a whole lotsa of fun. Well now for the Pickin': SHELBY VALLEY, KY at GRUNDY Coach Bear Ward and his Crawfish have had the Lower Mill Branch Dam break on them the last two weeks. They have given up 127 points in the last 2 Crawfish contests. The BEAR WARD and his cubs have been working hard this week to plug up the dam with SUPER DUPER BEAVER GLUE. However, they had better hope that the glue is SUPER FAST drying, because the Big Blue Cat Homecoming Bashers are coming back to Buchanan Co. lookin' to bash up another Homecoming. Two weeks ago the Blue Wildcats ripped up the Hurley HC by a score of 42-14 and would like to make another Homecoming Queen cry the BLUES (just like their colors). Since losing to Paintsville 44-38 in OT, the Blue Cats have out scored their foes 86-14 in their last two games. The SV BLUE CATS may not be as tough as the Colley RED CATS, but to be on the safe side the Crawfish had better get one those APCO juice jockeys to get some juice and blow dryers down to the dam, because these cats might have more bite than you think. Lil' Leonards Loser: Grundy Richlands at Bluefield The Pride of Tazewell County with 2 losses, WOW! It might be time to trade their worn down Big Blue Wind Machine in for a new Wind Maker. Last week they struggled in the first half against the V-Cats. Percy said if those Cats would have been in better shape it could have been a different story. The Beavers “Believe†and they believe their damn is Tornado proof. All this week those Beavers have been chewing down Tall Pines to fortify their beloved Lodge. That’s a fancy word for a beaver’s home. Folks, have you ever tried to destroy a Beaver Damn. Just ask (The Duck Commander) Phil Robertson and Uncle Si. They have burned, shot, and blow up several Beaver Damns down south. One could say that they have a doctrine in Beaver Damn demolition. However, those rodents keep coming back. Lil’Lenoards_Loser - Richlands Ocean Lakes at Kempsville Most of the time Percy and I never pull for teams that are named after water critters. Unless it’s a catfish, beaver, or something fried at Long Johns Silvers. However, this week we are putting on our scuba gear and we are going swimming with the Dolphins. Attention: These Dolphins are not the ones trained by Dan Marino either. These Dolphins are from Ocean Lakes and they have several strong flippers. Their opponent this week is the Kempsville Chiefs. All week long the Chiefs have been preparing for their “Bash at the Beachâ€. The community was hoping they could get Andy Reed to coach this one. Aunt Betty Lou, has recently developed a crush for the NFL coach since he has the Kansas boys at 4-0. Just imagine, Coach Reed sun bathing on the beach. Enough said. Look for the Ocean Lakes Skipper Walter “Churchie†Harold and running back Brandon Simmons to swim up and down the coast Friday Night. You might want to get to the Board Walk early, its going to be one heck of a show. Lil’Lenoards_Losers – Chiefs Hurley at Thomas Walker The Rebel Regiment will be packing up early and marching a long distance for this battle. The offensive line are in high spirits since they will have to stop and eat a nice dinner at the Bonanza in Wise. Percy and I always eat the fried okra and soup beans when we stop at that fine establishment. General Tester always feeds his troops well on the road and he knows the value of having a strong and healthy army. The Rebels have been injury prone this season but they are battle tested. They are coming off a big win up in mountains of Craig County and team moral is higher than ever. Thomas Walker has struggled this year. They lost several players to graduation last season and are trying to rebuild their homestead. They will need more than their Long Rifles for this battle. The smart thing to do, is try to ambush General Tester before he arrives in Lee County; Because after Friday night those Rebels will own the Moutains of Lee County. Lil’Leonards_Losers – Thomas Walker Salem vs. Open The Spar-Tans are off to a 3-2 start having lost back to back games to Wm. Byrd and Northside. The Spar-Tans beat up a weak Cave Spring team last week to get some of their strut back. This week, they take on a very good OPEN, WV team that is off to a 5-0 start having given up only one TD (Punt return in the 1st game). Coach Leadbetter give a lot of credit for his team's great start to their pregame meal of FAT BOY'S WEST VIRGINA FORTUNE COOKIES. He says that since they started feeding his team FAT BOY'S WEST VIRGINIA FORTUNE COOKIES, his has had more energy and stamia. Look for the Spar-Tans to lose another one this week. Lil' Leonards Loser: in a Cow Trompin" shut out, SALEM Other Losers: Abingdon, Chantilly, Armstrong, Clover Hill, Windsor, Galax, Castlewood (cow trompin') Phelps, KY Don't forget to buy your FAT BOY'S WEST VIRGINIA FORTUNE COOKIES, main office Cucumber, WV. Outlets in Bradshaw, Gilbert, Keystone and coming soon to The Forks of Guesses Fork.

We're Back!! We would like to say we're sorry for being so late with the prognots, but it as been a Heck Tick Fall. Uncle Percy broke his leg in the Ozark Mtns while we were chasing Cousin Faylene who had ran off with a fertilizer salesman from Tupelo, Miss. You all known what those guys are full of. 4th Cousin Claude Martin Willmore was heart broken. Grandpa Clovis almost kicked the bucket when his 2 favorite coon dogs, Jesse & Al, got caught in the back of the barn doing. (Well, we best not tell anymore). Leonard just got back from going to see the Duck Dynasty Robertsons, but took a wrong turn in Louisiana and ended up in El Paso, Texas. He said they spoke some kind of strange English and couldn't understand a word they were saying. Thelma Lou, Len's wife, would not let him back in the HOUSE. Seems like he had to many chili peppers & refried beans while in El Paso, Too much stinky gas. Haysi at Grundy The Slate Crik Crawdads have staging their on version of "Dancing with the Stars". They Big with the Rebel two step. But this Past Friday, they seemed to have had two left feet during this past Friday's contest with Mikey and the G-Posse. They found out that the Juke, Jive, Dip & Slide Schuffle is a lot harder to learn than the two step. On the other side of the mountain, Coach Colley has been doing the mashed potato, the twist and shout, & flat Footin' to a 3-0 start. The Red Cats will be purring & struttin' on the Slate Crik this Friday. Look for the cats not to get their paws wet as they hang another 10 on another WAVE. Better watch out for that Bowen Cat, they say he's faSSSSt. And the Tigerettes will be stepping high. Leonard's Loser: Grundy Giles at Graham Mikey and the G-Posse are hosting the Single-Wang Lads from P-Burg this Friday. Mikey & the G-Boys put up a lot of points this past Friday after losing a nail biter at Richlands. Mikey and the G-Posse may wish that they had saved a few of those points this for this Friday. The Single-Wang Lads are off to a 3-0 start and are back yo their old RAG ways of hiding the tater. Just ask Blacksburg and Christianburg (they forgot their reading glasses). The Single-Wang is a thing off beauty on real grass, but on plastic grass, its AWESOME. We don't think that Coach Mikey's Salem Ways & the G-Posse schuffle will be able to out do the Single_Wang Waltz as they WALTZ all over Mitchell Stadium. G-Posse fans, don't forgit your binoculars or reading glasses while playing hide the tater. Leonard's Loser: Graham VA High at Richlands The mechanics have been working overtime tinkering all week with a broken down, degraded & embarassed BIG BLUE WIND MACHINE. Its been a while since the BBWM has played a JV team in the 2nd half. Work is it took 2 days to get all the BBWM parts back to Tazewll Co. after running into some bad, bad, bad, wind at Lord Botetourt. Va High has a new coach, new offense, and the same results. But the Bearcats have high hopes that their BAD A#& Break Dancing will be enough to to take down the broken BBWM and strut back across the mtn. However, its homecoming, and while Coach Mance is still looking for a Big Johnson, the BBwm may have enough wind to blow the bearcats back to Bristol. Leonard's Loser: Va High Honaker at Twin Valley "It's the TRUTH, Choo Choo" is what Coach Puddin' will be saying after the 1st CAT FIGHT of the year in the BDD for the TIDY CAT BOX. Coach Puddin' has found a way to put points on the scoreboard, but is lookin' for a way to keep the other teams from scoring more. Need another PORK CHOP Smith. Coach Hubbard and the Neon Orange Cats are off to a 3-0 start, still running the I, still playing a 5-2 Defense, still winning, so why re-invent the wheel. Its been working for over 30 years. If it ain't broken, leave it along. Loks like the Neon Orange cats will take the lead for the Tiday Cat Box. Hey, "THE TRUTH IS IN THE PUDDIN'". Leonard's Loser: Twin Valley Other Losers: Phelps Hornets, Annadale, Frank Cox, Hampton, Bluestone, Gate City, and Falconman & Southbound ( Cousin Faylene sure was sweet on you two fellas. Beaten out by a fertilizer salesman full of crap. No wonder Falcons can't win) Finaaly, a word about our sponsor, FAT BOY'S WEST VIRGINIA FORTUNE COOKIES. Head office in Cucumber, WV, with outlets in Bradshaw Gilbert, Keystone, aand coming soon to the Forks of Guesses Fork.

Christiansburg @ Salem The Evil Empire will invade Bradyville a second this season come this weekend. The Evil Empire was turned back by a 14-13 score at their first attempt to conquer the Bradyville WHINERS. Since the playoffs started, the Evil Empire has been on a ramage and taking no prisoners or names. They have demolished Bassett, a team they only beat by one earlier, and Hidden Valley, who they lost to 28-0 back in Oct. The WHINERS squeaked out a 17-14 whine over PULASKI last week and are practicing hard at some new whines for their 2nd encounter with the Evil Empire this weekend. The Bradyville WHINERS will find out right quick that it is ging to take alot more than whining to the refs and a VHSL hotline to whine this one out. Looks like the Empire won't need to roll out all of the wrestling mats this Monday. Lil Leonards Loser Bradyville Whiners Others Maroons and Trojans

Cave Springs @ Richlands Folks we need to say we're sorry that we left this one off and Boy are we sorry. Aunt Betty Lou got so mad at us for not picking this game, that all we got for supper last night was cold Fat Back and Cold Grits. This morning for breakfast, it was colder Fat Back and Colder Grits. This game is usually for the Region 4 Title but not this one. The DARK KNIGHTS from the Bat Cave have had a very up and down year which landed them in the #4 spot. Most of the DARK KNIGHTS games have been close one way or the other, except for last week's (45-0) "Cow Tromping? or the "Whine and cheeze" Buzzards from Abingdon. This Friday night should be another battle. The BBWM has had a week off to prep for this battle. Caoch Mance and the Mechanics have been making adjustments and fine tuning the BBWM for this encounter. The DARK KNIGHTS put one on the BBWM last year and feel like they can drop the hammer on the BBWM again. "Slick" Cook says not to count the BBWM out yet even though one predictor has the DARK KNIGHTS winning by 15. Can't end this without giving some Aunt Betty Lou Love to the SEXIEST CHAIN CREW (Some might say chain gang) in SWVA. (Aunt Betty Lou says ever) Aunt Bettty Lou says any of that crew could warm her bunions on a cold night, and at the risk of having cold Fatback and grits till next August.. LLL - The DARK KNIGHTS OF GOTHAM CITY

Folks this weekend’s 2nd round of the playoffs looks like watching reruns on TV Land. A total of 23 reruns will be played this weekend. A lot of the games are rematches from this year’s regular season or last year’s playoffs. Some of these games may be like reruns of the BEVERYLY HILLBILLIES, MR. ED, SANDFORD & SON, STAR TREK, while some may be like GUNSMOKE, MIAMI VICE or HAWAII FIVE O. We won’t know who the winner is until the smoke clears, Crockett and Tubbs cuffs them and we hear bok em’ Danno. Stuarts Draft vs. Union No folks this isn’t a Ground Hog Day Edition of Leonard’s Losers, we have another rerun. Last year the Cougars sent the Vik-Dogs home with their tails/swords between their legs. Well this time around; this game will take place in the friendly confines of BULLIT PARK. Expect the Vik-Dogs to repay last year’s two points with interest and send the Cougars back up the interstate lickin’ their wounds. LLL - Stuarts Draft Pulaski County @ Salem This is another rerun from this past season. Salem “THE ORIGINAL WHINERS, won that game 28-14. Last week the Pu Cats mauled Magna Vista by a score of 32-0 which was a bit of a surprise to the LEONARD PICKIN’ CREW since they had lost 34-21 to these same Warriors back in Sept. on the road. This 45 point trun around has gotten Uncle Percy excited about the Pu Cast’s chances in their rematch against the “THE ORIGINAL WHINERSâ€. Because Folks, if there is one team in the OLD COMMONWEALTH that Uncle Percy dislikes, it’s the “THE ORIGINAL WHINERSâ€. Just a mention of the name Salem gets Uncle Percy all fired up. Aback in August, on his way up I-81, he had to stop in Salem to see a man about a BLUE TICK HOUND, gave us a call and told us that those lazy, good for nothing, inline for Obama Handouts Whiners had still not put that fancy little star beside 1996; when they won a so called state championship. That was the year the Whining Brady Bunch got on their hotline phone to the VHSL a whining if they had to go play the Slate Crik Crawdads at Grundy they would be losers and might get some mud on their uniforms. Et in Bradyville, Uncle Percy would be higher than Bent Mountain, Grandpa Clovis would also be a wondering what happen to several of his Jugs of Mountain maiden and most football fans across the state would be a smilin’ on Saturday morning. But I’m afraid the Bradyville Whiners have already used the hotline to the VHSL to cover all their Whiny Arses. LLL – Not the Bradyville Whiners P.S. Folks, Uncle Percy says, that if one is a traveling’ on I-81 Bradyville is a good place to take a dump. Giles @ Battle Coach Wright (A candidate for Lil’ Leonard’s Coach of the Year) = his Exit 7 Chariot Riders are having one of the best seasons ever in Chariot Rider Pigskin History. The Charioteers were flirting with 10-0 until the injury bug took a big bite before the Honaker game. This weekend, the Giles SINGE – WANG fliers into Exit 7 with a running game that most Battle fans have nerve seen. The Chariot Rider defense and fans will at times think they are at an Easter Egg Hunt instead of a football game. Anyone who has seen the SINGLE-WANG CREW play knows what I am talking about. Rumor has it that the Easter Bunny learned how to hide his eggs from Coach Ragsdale. Looks like Easter will come early to Exit 7, but the Chariot Riders and fans will not be finding many eggs this year. LLL – John Battle Haysi @ Clintwood This is one of the reruns we were talking about. Back on the 2nd weekend of the season; the Mean Green put the SMACKDOWN on Coach “Barney Fife†Colley’s Tigers like an Undertaker’s COFFIN MATCH. The Sandlick Tigers licked their wounds; Coach Fife added a few more formations to his playbook of over 1000 formations and went on a BIG impressive win streak over such power houses like the Phelps Hornets and the Mavisdale Maul meow Cats. Wow the SANDLICK TIERS got just about as many playoff bonus points from losing to the Mean Green and Honaker as they did during that 7 game winning streak. Coach Mullins and the Mean Green has been going about business week after week since a season opening lost to Hazard, KY which has advanced to the 3rd round of the Kentucky Single A playoffs. Watching the Mean Green has been like watching reruns on TV Land. The Mean Green scores 40-50 plus, give up a score or two. Look for OL†Coach Meade’s grandson to pile up a bunch of yards and a few TD’s and the rest of the Mean Green Crew to add a bunch of yards and TDs to that too. By halftime Coach “Barney Fife†Colley and his SANDLICK TIGERS will thing they have encountered the KLINGONS from a STAR TREK rerun and will be hollering “Beam us back to Sandlick, Scotty…..beam us back to Sandlickâ€. But they will discover that the Transporter is down and Scotty is in the back finishing off a cold one watching reruns of the Andy Griffith Show on TV Land. LLL – Aunt B and Company……. Galax @ Honaker After all these years Uncle Percy has formulated an equation for the Organe Tigers of Yore. Play a soft schedule, get beat by Richlands, and lose in the 2nd round of the play-offs. I hope they vacuum off the turf for the Peoples that is coming this week. This Peoples rushed for 195 yards on 13 carries and scored 4 times for the Coffee Makers from Galax. The Coffee Makers tallied up a total of 540 yards of total offense. (And) If Hubbard broke down the film, he would have seen 2 long touchdowns called back and maybe??? one interception called back by the same Peoples. Clovis says the Coffee Makers my 3, Lil’ Leonard’s says the Coffee Makers 42-13. Don’t worry Hubbard Clintwood decided to go to the Cumberland, Percy say’s your equation will work next year too... LLL - Honaker

Too many ugly games this week Abindon @ Cave Spring Well folks its playoff time in SWVA and look what STRUTTED in through the back door. Looks like we’ll have to hear certain Buzzard fans, Ah, what’s that fancy work Bill O’Reilly uses, Blow-Ve-ate, Blue-Ve-et, Ha, you all know that work that means blow up a 50 pound onion sack. We are actually glad the Buzzards made it; really, it’s the truth Big O and Falconman. Because after looking at some of these 1st round match-ups, writing about you Buzzards makes it so much easier. Well, anyway the Buzzards have looked like world beaters at times this season (PH, Happy Valley, Lebanon) butt have come up so short against the Big Dogs. This week they will take a scenic detour up I-81 before heading south till next August to take on the Dark Knights of the Roanoke Valley. The Dark Knights have been down and up all season like a yo-yo. But seems they have put the right spin on things at the end of the season for the playoffs. The “Whine and Cheezers†will find out right quick that the Dark Knights will knock the Whine out of them. Look at it this way Buzzard fans, you’re going to get a Butt Kicking, but you can stop off in Salem, the home of the original Whiners and maybe pick up some new excuses for next season. LLL – Buzzards Southbound, Falconman or Big O, Cousin Pabjab wants to know if he can hitch a ride south with one of you all. He works for the circus and needs to ketch up with hem down south. Thanks LL Castlewood @ Haysi All week long, the head DEVIL has been training his boys like Rocky trained in Rocky 4. They have been chopping wood, bench pressing old Ford Pinto’s, running up snowing mountains, and chasing chickens (while screaming Colleeeey-Colleeeeeey). The Tigers are no Drago but they have gotten better each week. The Tigers like to lick their paws and throw the tator around. The also can run the pumpkin’ with the Blue Rebel, well that’s what Percy calls him. The tail of the tape, if Castlewood plays like they did last week they go to Clintwood. If Haysi completes some on those NCAA 2012 Hail Mary passes early it could be a long day for the head DEVIL. Remember, whoever wins goes to Clintwood the next week. LLL - Haysi

Ft. Chiswell at Graham Uncle Percy’s Game of the Week. Remember wherever Uncle Percy and Grandpas Clovis & Cletus go, it’s goin’ to be a good one. #1 Division 2 leader Ft. Chiswell travels to Mitchell to try & clinch a district title from #3 Division 2 Graham. Both teams are having good seasons and could go deep into the playoffs. Sheriff Williams and the G-Posse will be fired up for this one like they were for the flat tails. The Pioneers will be loaded up with extra powder for this shootout. Uncle Percy says there will be more fireworks going off this Friday than Saturdays on Beaver Knob. Uncle Percy said not only will it be a great game but should be a heck of a 50/50 draw. LLL – The G Posse Honaker at Grundy This is another one of those games where the favorite might be looking ahead. The Drill Cats have had a good season so fare. Coach Hubbard’s run left, run up the middle; run right offense has crushed 7 of 8 foes this year and is expected to add another BDD Trophy to the glass case. The Crawdads, after high hopes in August are hoping to break even in November. Coach “BEAR WARD†is hoping the Drill Cats are looking ahead to next week’s CAT FIGHT with the Sandlick Tiggers and catch them talking a Catnap. Crik Fans, if the crawdads pull of the upset they will earn a bunch of playoff points and possibly win an extended season trip to some exotic places like Ft. Chiswell or Fishersville. Coach “BEAR†had better break out the Blue and Gold hounds tooth hat, because a win may take the crawdads to places they’ve never been. LLL – Honaker Abindgon @ Tazwell Uncle Percy was talking about a football article on the Abingdon “Whine†and Cheezers that he had read in the “The Bluetick Gazetteâ€. Seems the BlueTick paper had reprinted an article from some newspaper in Washington Co. on last week’s ABINDON + RICHLANDS game. The HEADLINE, ACCORDING TO THE BUZZARD TOWN WHINERS, WAS “It’s not our fault we lost; it’s the other team’s fault we lost.†Sounds like something from the OBAMA/BIDEN Campaign. Blame it on somebody else, I guess Greg Mance might pass for George W. Bush. Well, anyway, the Buzzards will be flocking to Tazewell this Friday night looking for some road kill. But they may be in for a bit of a surprise. The Folks from Tip Top to Horse Pen to Burkes Garden to Stony Ridge are simlin’ like Grandpa Clovis’ mule Weezy Eatin’ Sawbrars because of last weeks big win over Lebanon. The Buzzards are probably looking ahead to next week’s game against Marion and figure to pluck an easy win at the Dog Pound. The Whiners would be doin’ the pluckin’ this week but they’ll be doin’ all the whining as Tazewell plucks their FEATHERS. LLL - Buzzards

Folks welcome to a most solemn 8th edition of Lil_Leonards’s Losers. It pains me to tell you this, but Grandpa Clovis’ ol’ hog Silas passed away. I remember Silas when he was just a piglet rooting around in the yard. Why Lord we watched him grow in to a Fine Hog. He never allowed a snake near the house and always washed in the creek before he laid on the porch. Due to our period of grief for Silas, this will be a brief edition of Lil’Leonards Loser. Please keep Granda Pa Clovis in your prayers. Old Silas leaves behind two racks of ribs, a couple of big lams, some fine shoulder, enough bacon and sausage to choke a mule, and four of the finest pigs feet you’ll ever taste. There will be a service for Silas at the Kiwanis Park in Haysi. If you can’t find it, just follow the smell of hickory. Now let’s get down to the picks. Winless Martinsville @ Winless Patrick County Who would have ever thunk it….that Martinsville would be OOOFER this late in the season. LLL – Winless Patrick County Carroll County @ Richlands BBWD getting back to form. LLL – Carroll County Gate City @ Va. High Hate to go against those Buzzard Killing Bearcats. But word from the Scott County Fair is that the aliens have returned some of those Big and Fast Devils. LLL – Va High East Ridge @ Grundy Grundy has given up 40 + points their last 3 games. East Ridge has not won since their opener. Should be an easy homecoming victory for the Golden Boys. LLL – East Ridge UGLY GAME’S Bland County @ Grayson County Twin Springs @ Eastside Haysi at Twin Valley LLL – NOT THE CONCESSION STANDS….may run out of powdered sugar for the funnel cakes. Other losers: J.I. Burton Chilhowie Patrick Henry Northwood Rye Cove Lee Central Wise Tazewell

Devil Week Grayson Co. @ Graham This Saturday the Grayson Co. Blue Devils will roll out of the East River Mountain Tunnel with their pitchforks sharpen and their hair on fire. The Grayson IMPS have had an extra week to get ready for the G-Posse and should be healed up after the smackdown Clintwood put on them. This is a big game for both teams as it will be the District opener for both. Sheriff Williams & the G-Posse had a BIG WEEKEND last week as they clinched the Mercer Mall Trophy with a victory at Princeton, WV. Word is that the victory party at Cotton’s lasted until the Roosters started crowing. Now Sheriff Williams and the G-Posse had better have their game faces on for this one. These DEVILS are as slippery as the catfish in Uncle Wichita’s Fish Pond and can score quick and often. The DEVILS would love to prick and leave their mark on the G-POSSE’S behinds, but Sheriff Williams will have his Posse ready and will send these rowdy bunch back through the tunnel with their IMP TAILS dragging. LLL – Grayson Co. Castlewood @ Twin Springs Touchdown Davey Boy Scammell is still soaring higher than the Buzzards on “Buzzard’s Roost†after Castlewood’s big victory over the Slate Crik Crawdads last Friday Night. The Banner Corner Devils appear to be getting their act together after a rough start and the OL†Devil showed he still has a burst of speed as he beat everyone to the 20 yard line on Edmonds’ 83 yard TD run. However, Davey Boy and his little devils has better not be looking past the Titains of the Twin Springs. Even though they are off to one of the worst starts around, they still have a way of sneaking up on the Banner Corner Devils. Must be a Corn Ridge Thing. LLL – Titan of the Twin Springs John Battle @ Gate City The hottest team in Southwest Virginia is on the road this week traveling to what once was a hostel place to play. After several alien abductions and crop circle carving the Devils are looking forward to next season. Battle is playing fundamental football and folks thats hard to beat. Uncle Percy has bought all the Forrest Green Polo’s he could find. You folks know how Percy’s rolls, whoever is winning, Percy gets on the Bandwagon. Look for WCYB to be bleeding forest green and yellow. LLL – Gate City Game of the Week This game is brought to you by Charlie’s Coon Dog Shampoo--- Folks on a cool night hunt it’s always nice to have your huntin’ dogs smelling fine. With our highly tested and recommended shampoo, you will double your trail dog production (Guaranteed). Try our new Midnight moonlight scent – it’s a special blend of raccoon hair and oak tree bark substitute mixed with maple scented soap. Grundy vs. Meadow Bridge The going has been tough for the Slate Crik Crawdads. So far they haven’t been able to get a big W on any opponent that ain’t from Bucanistan. Last year, this game was tighter than Ant Lilly on yard sale Friday. Word is the Men of the Meadow are looking for some revenge on the Crawdads after Coach Ward and his lads ruined homecoming, but them Crawdads are tough to beat at home. LLL – Meadown Bridge

Welcome back folks to the 6th edition of Leonard’s Losers 2012. We’ve got picks on the way, but first a couple of words from our sponsors. Dave down at Dave’s outhouse Emporium really wanted to thank you folks for the strong showing after last week. Business picked up so much he had to get one of those new fangled telephones. Remember, if you need to contact Dave simply call (304) 555-TURD. This week’s show is brought to you by Sammy Dean’s Custom Dog Boxes. Is your hound embarrassed about that old shabby dog box? Are you too ashamed to hunt with your buddies? Well folks Sammy Dean’s Custom Dog Boxes has just what you are looking for. Whether you draw a big check or are on a working mans budget, Sammy can put your hound in the box he has always dreamed about. Just to let you in on a little secret, if you call Dave’s today and mention you heard about him from Leonard and Percy, you will receive 15% off the purchase of any box from Sammy Dean’s four wheeler friendly Grand Lite Champion line. Honaker (5-0) vs Richlands Doug Hubbard has his KIT KATS as crispy as some good ol’ fat back bacon on a nice cool Sunday morning. The Tigers have turned away all opponents this season and is in the hunt for another BDD Crown this season. Its no secret what the Tigers like to do, run right, run left, run up the middle and run some more. The BBWM is still the team to beat in the SWD. Coach Mance and his Mechanics have been adjusting and testing their high octane offense all week. Folks, both teams like to play on plastic grass and both teams have a rich tradition of winning. It’s the BDD’s best against the best in Southwest Virginia. Ol’ Leonard says its Honaker’s turn, to turn some heads. Sorry Blues, but Ol’ Hubbard is going to have a Blue, Blue, Blue, Blue Xmas this year. Had to throw that in folks, that’s Percy’s favorite Xmas song. LLL - BBWM Abingdon @ John Battle The Blue Buzzards are flying high this week with their feathers all fluffed out and beaks held high. This Friday they’ll be doing the “BUZZARD STRUT†down Highway 11 with the FALCONMAN + SOUTHBOUND riding shotgun in the “WHINER AND CHHEEZER†parade to EXIT 7. However when they get to EXIT 7 this year, they will not be finding any Wally World Rolled Back Prices or any other specials. What they will find is a bunch of AGILE, MOBILE, AND HOSTILE Chariot Riders on a Mission. The Exit 7 Chariot Riders have rode over all opponents this season and are taking no prisoners. When the dust settles this Friday night, the Buzzards will know what it means to be rolled back. The only Struttin’ the Buzzards will be doin’ on Friday Night is over to the Bath and Beauty Store after being hit by these Chariots. LLL - Abingdon Traffic Warning if you’re driving around Exit 7 Friday Night – Slow Down - and watch out for Buzzards falling from the sky. Grundy @ Castlewood In what has the POtential to be a real barn burner, The Slate Crick Crawdads will be squaring off against Touchdown Davy Scammell and his “other†Blue Devils. Last year at the Bend of Slate, this game was tighter than Percy’s breeches after Sunday supper and you should expect more of the same this year. Ol’ Percy even thinks this might come down to the actions of the crawdad with the Golden Toe. There is no doubt that Coach Scammell, who used to pack the tator for the crawdads himself, wants this one bad. Look for a school house toilet paper thin margin in this one. LLL - Castlewood Clintwood @ Union Folks this could very well be the game of the week. The Clintwood PSA is on a Tidal Roll and the ImBoden Bears have been ripping things apart this year. The GAVAN MEADE, Ol’ coach Meade’s Grand youngun, has been running and surfing the Green Tidal Wave all season. But this will be no push over for the PSA. “Bear†Baugh and his line will be up to ripping holes in the BIG GREEN WAVE D. But look for the Green Tidal Wave to wear down the Bears in the end. LLL – in a close one, Union Gate City @ Bluefield, WV Looks like another bad night for Devils, even if the aliens have returned all the ABDUCTED BIG AND Fast Devils. LLL – Gate City Graham @ Princeton, WV Sheriff Williams and the G-Posse capture the Mercer Mall Trophy, as they cage a bunch of Tigers. LLL – Princeton, WV

Folks this week Lil Leonard’s Loser is proud to be brought to you by a new sponsor: Dave’s Outhouse Emporium. Located on friendly Johnny Cake Mountain, Dave’s Outhouse Emporium is you home for all you outdoor plumbing needs. Remember folks “One Hole or Two, Dave’s can help youâ€. Northwood @ Chilhowie It is a exciting time in Chilhowie. Not only are the Boys from Salt-Vegas coming to town to take on the Apple Dumplin’ Gang, but the famous Chilhowie Apple Festival is starting to really get rollin’. The Apple Festival is one of the highlights of Percy’s year. Last year ol’ Percy must have ate five pounds of them delicious fried apples. He really enjoyed it at the time, but regretted in on the way home. He almost ruined his new Mossy Oak seat cover and could have definitely used some Doctor’s Proctor’s Fart Powders. Normally me and Percy would be going with the Boys from Salt Vegas, but with the Gang on a cider fueled fever pitch all bets are off. Lil Leonard’s Loser – Northwood Rye Cove @ Castlewood WAREAGLES! WAR EAGLES! Oh, sorry wrong Eagles, this Clinchport Terns will be making a flight through MEW this Friday to the Devil’s Den. The Clinchport Terns are coming off a victory over the Hancock, TN Indians and have had two weeks to prepare for Devil Dave’s Devilish tricks. Devil Dave and the rest of his Devils are suffering the Blues from a rough 1-3 start. But the OL’ Devil has been working late into the night trying to repair and straighten out his pitchfork and get his IMPS ready. The Clinchport Terns have been known to air it out and a few Hill to Chapman Bombs. But Devil Dave and his Imps will pull enough tricks too prevent the Clichport Birds from having a victory party on BUZZARDS ROOST. Lil Leonard’s_Loser – Rye Cove Abingdon @ Happy Valley, TN The A-Town Whiners and Cheezers will be taking the WHINING CONTEST on the road this Friday Night to the Happy Valley of Carter County. The Blue Buzzards will be trying to avenge last year’s 13-10 Lost to the Warriors and have had 2 weeks to prepare since they got dunked by the Apple Dumpling Gang. The Happy Warriors have lost 3 in a row and are 1-4 on the season. Looks like the Blue Buzzards have a good chance to even their record to 2-2. Even Southbound and Falconman are simling this week instead of whining. Looks like a good week for the THUNDERBIRD SIPPERS AND FOOD CITY CHEESE NIBBLERS. After much debate and looking at it from every possible angle and a couple of jugs of Grandpa Clovis’ finest which could have affected our common sense. Lil_Leonards_Loser – Happy Valley But it the Buzzards blow it, Ol’Lance will have to add more bites to the side for the whining. Grundy @ Haysi The Crawdads from Buchanan County’s most famous curve are setting 2-0 in district play. Coach “BEAR†Ward looks like he is holding the KEYS to the driver’s seat in the BDD. Having already won the Buchanan County Championship look for these crawdads to migrate up the Russell Fork put their pinchers on a bunch of Blue tigers. With two weeks to prepare the Crawdads defense should be as strong as the John Williams Flannagan Damn. The Sandlick Rebel Cats have not been the Meow Mix that the Ol’ ball coach thought it would have been so far. Last week The Rebel Cats never got out of the litter box on offense or defense. Eastside ran through’em, around’em, and over’em. The Crawdads have a fast crawdad that runs real hard. This doesn’t happen very often but Haysi drops 2 in a row…. Lil_Leonards_Loser -- Haysi

Folks, Doctor Proctor wanted us to tell you that his new Scented Fart Powders will be hittin’ the market soon. The Field tests in Abingdon and Salem were a huge success. When People consume that much cheese, you’re going to get a lot of windy whining. Aunt Betty Lou rode through Abingdon last week and told us that someone had a late Strawberry patch around the Martha and Barter. So, Folks get your Doctor Proctor Fart Powders today. Regular or Scented (coming soon). Lebanon @ Gate City Folks we have heard for years that the MAYUNS predicted the world would end in 2012. Well, Percy ain’t seen the first sign of fire and brimstone, but something apocalyptic is sure happening down in Scott County. For as long as even old Grandpa Clovis can remember, the Blue Devils have struck terror in the hearts of Bearcats, Trojans, Generals, and even a Tornado or two. It seems like this year they would be lucky to scare a Blue Buzzard off a hot rock. The boys in the Ground Hog Hat Boys have a mixed bag. Last week they had a big Bear hunt planned, but ended up on the wrong end of a mauling. This week shapes of to be a good match up, but expect the Pioneers to bag one of the most elusive creatures of all: A Blue Devil Lil Leonard’s Loser -- Gate City Haysi @ Eastside The Eastside Spartans will be strapping on the armor and sharpening up their swords Friday to do battle with Coach James Colley and his might Tiggers. Lots of folks around Martha’s Place are saying that Coach Colley might be the Belle of the Black Diamond this year. The Tiggers are a consolidated team with the high flying acrobatics of Haysi and the power brought to the show by a hard running ex-Rebel. Eastside is the odds on favorite to win the Cumberland this year and while Friday’s game won’t have any bearing on that conquests, but it will definitely be a big test for the Spartans when the Circus comes to town. Percy’s looking for a hard fought game, but in the end Coach Colley probably has a couple of dozen too many formations for the Spartans to wrap their helmets around. LLL--Eastside Hurley @ East Ridge Last week Hurley whipped the G-town Ramblers up and down and back down the field drive after drive. The only problem was the Rebels kept letting go of the rocks at the Cliff. Hurley fumbled 5 times losing a heartbreaker 10-8 to their cross county rival Grundy. Their defense stood strong like Stone Wall Jackson did back when men were men, just letting the Ramblers gain a total of 9 rushing yards and 57 yards passing. This week the Soldiers from Rock House will march their brigade into Eastern Kentucky to pick a fight with a hostel East Ridge Warriors squad. East Ridge bought a can of Raid Hornet spray last week and wiped out a nest of Phelps Hornets. This week they’ll be tryin’ to even their record by settin’ up an ambush of the Rebs at Mouthcard. If the Rebs give an effort this week like last Friday against the Crik Crawdads, they’ll be marching home after the game a singin When Johnny Comes Marchin’ Home, HurraH/HurraH. But if they don’t, it could be the Mouthcard Massacre. Lil_Leonards_Loser – East Ridge Virginia High @ Union We like the Bearcats, because they know how to pluck and stuff Blue Buzzards. However since their success on the opening day of Buzzard Season the CATS have broken a few claws and have struggled. They’ve been hit by Chariots and got their behinds horned by some Vikings and this Friday thangs don’t look much better as they try to Out Claw a bunch of GRIZZLIES. The IMBODEN Bears have taken Uncle Percy’s saying”If you’re going to be a bear, be a GRIZZLY BEAR” to heart. Because, they have started the season on a roaring rampage, just ask Coach Mance about his Bear Hunting adventure. The Bearcats will try to out fox’em but they just won’t have enough for “Bear” Baugh and the rest of these rampaging bears. Lil_Leonards_Loser – Va High Twin Valley @ Tug Valley, WV The Mavisdale Maul Cats of Coach “It’s the truth, Rowe” are taking an out of state adventure to wild and wonderful NAUGATUCK, West Virginia this Friday. So far this season the Maul Cats have been dunked in the Crik, trampled by the Generals, and mauled by a bunch of angry Panther from the Salt Valley. The NAUGATUCK CATS are off to a decent start this season. The only set back or should we say, out clawing was by the CATS of Meadow Bridge. This past Friday the Cats from Naugatuck delanced a bunch of Golden Knights from Welch. We don’t know much about the Cats from NAUGATUCK except that they are ranked in the TOP 16 Single A WV Poll. That’s enough to tell us that this is another CAT FIGHT that the Maul Cats will come out on the short end of the stick and FOLKS, THAT IS THE TRUTH. Lil_Leonards_Loser – T Valley other losers Raiders Grayson

Folks, we are proud to have OL’ Rooster Brand Coffee as our sponsor this week. OL’ ROOSTER Brand Coffee is the coffee that’ll put a little extra hop in your step and help you crow all night. Just ask Coach Mance or any of his Blue Mechanics, OL’ Rooster Brand is what they brew when they’re puttin’ in the OT. Gate City @ Sullivan South Looks like those aliens have not returned any of those abducted Blue Devils. Because when was the last time you ever heard of a Gate City team getting beat 56-0 with 0 total yards of offense (-26 in the 1st half and +26 in the 2nd half according to the BHC). Coach “HOSSWRIGHT” hopes this weeks’ intrusion into Tennessee will bring better results than last week’s adventure to Harlan, Kentucky. High hopes are one thing but slow and small just won’t get it done. It’ll be another bad week for the Devils and the Legion Field Crazies. Lil_Leonards_Losers – Blue Devils Grundy @ Hurley Word from up on the Crik is that Coach “Bear” Ward has already made a spot in the trophy case for his 2nd Buchanan County Championship Trophy. Look for a packed crowd at the Cliff. Four-wheeler valet parking will be available for those of you who have to park at the Middle School. Lil_Leonards_Losers – Not the concession stand --- Have you ever et one of those RIGHT HAND FORK OF GUESSES FORK Funnel Cake??? Richlands @ Graham Uncle Percy has always said, “If you’re going to be a BEAR, BE A GRIZZLY BEAR”. Coach Mance and his Big Blue Wind Machine sure understand what that means after last Friday Night. Coach Mance and his BBWM escaped a BEAR MAULIN’ by a hair as thin as those on the OL’ SALTSHAKER’S head. Coach Mance and the Blue Mechanic staff have been putting in the OT this week to get the KINKS out of the BBWM before blowing into Mitchell Stadium this Friday. Why? Because Sheriff Williams is cuffing and stuffing everybody just like Sheriff Roscoe P. Coletrain. The Posse has already smacked the Beavers around for half of the Mercer Mall Trophy and after clipping the Bulldogs’ tails last Friday they are looking to clinch the Tazewell County Championship this Friday. Sheriff Williams and the Posse will be ready to ambush Coach Mance and his BBWM as they blow into town. But then a lot of folks have been trying to derail the BBWM for several years. Look for the BBWM to ride through town and scatter the G-Men all up and down the parking lot of Wal-Mart. Lil_Leonads_Losers – Graham Chilhowie @ Abingdon Percy’s sophisticated cousin La-Roi has been a busy man this week. He worked 2nd shift down at the taco joint in Abingdon and the BUZZARDS have been bustin’ the door down since Friday, looking for his special 6 pack of Victory Tacos. The excitement in Abingdon has been at a fever pitch since ever since their beloved BUZZARDS Best the Men of Glade Springs. A short way up I-81 (as the Buzzard Flies) the Apple Dumpling Gang has been peeled, sauced, and fried this season. After two losses to open up the season, The Gang is hungry for a W. A lot of folks around here think the Buzzards have earned their STRIPES, but that won’t be enough this week. Look for the Apple Dumpling Gang to put up a bushel basket of points. Lil_Leonards_Losers – BUZZARDS Lee @ J.I. Burton For years Lee County has been known for the best tobacco this side of the Mississippi. Rumor has it after last weeks performance from the T-Walking Mountaineers, the local farmers have invested in tons of SUGAR CAIN seeds for next years harvest. The Generals let CAIN bring the PAIN by letting him rush for over 300 yards in one game. (That my folks is impressive) This week the Generals face another worthy opponent. The Vigilantes from Gotham City are looking like the Vigilantes of old. Speed and Power they say in the City. Grandpa Clovis says, “They are steal Limousine driving, JET Flying, Kiss stealing Son of a Guns, just like Ric Flair was in the 1980’s. Look for the Generals to be sipping on some warm Crowder Soup on their way home around 10:00 o’clock Friday night. Lil_Leonards_Losers – Lee Union @ Lebanon Lebanon was impressive last week by sending the G Town Ramblers home with their first loss of the season. This week the Pioneers better wash their groundhogs caps and clean their rifles, because a VERY MEAN, UPSET, AND NASTY Grizzly is coming to Russell County. Folks this could get UGLY, VERY UGLY real quick. Lil_Leonards_Losers – Groundhog Caps

Abingdon – Patrick Henry The Rowdy Rebels from the Glade went on a Big Bear Hunt in Bland last Friday and came away with a Hay wagon full of Bear Skins. Now while these Bears may have not have been the Biggest and Meanest in the Jefferson National Forest, the Rebel’s offense still rolled up some big numbers and points that showed improvement over last year’s campaign. This week, the Rebel’s offense and defense will have to turn in another good effort in their attempt to catch and stuff a Blue Buzzard. The Blue Buzzards lost a bunch of tail feathers last Friday to a Bunch of Hungry Bearcats. Looks like the Sobers from “Whine and Cheeseville†will have a lot to Whine about this season. But this is the Buzzard Fan’s favorite time of the year, when they try to gather road kill from all of the weak sister schools on Highway 11. Look for a Wal-Mart to have extra Great Value Cheese and the Roadrunner Market to be over stocked on Thunder Bird Wine. For a Big Celebration that may not happen. Uncle Percy thinks the Rebels are about due and will have a Big stuffed Blue Buzzard to set on the Glade Spring Square on Saturday morning. Lil_Leonads Loser Abingodn FOLKS THIS IS A GOOD TIME TO MENTION THIS WEEE’S SPONSOR: Falcon Crying Towels—When you feel the need to Sob, We can do the Job.. Buy some Today…….. Honaker @ Castlewood Battle of the ole Rusty Grub Hoe Coach Hubbard and the Terrible TomCats will be looking to secure bragging rights overall of Russell County this week with a win over the Devils. Coach Dave “Touchdown†Scammell would love to prove there is more than one way to skin a Cat, but this just ain’t gonna be his year to play the spoiler. Lil_LeonardsLosers The Wood Grundy @ Lebanon The Slate Crik Crawdads are coming off a big W over Cross County rival Mavisdale Maul Cats. This week they are heading to Lebanon to take the Trail Blazers. The Trail Blazers are coming off a hard fought loss at the hands of Dough Hubbard and the Terrible Felons of Honaker. Uncle Festus said the work round the Old Mill is that on Saturday they would be serving up steamed Crayfish for the early bird special. Expect this one to be closer than last year when these teams met at the Big Pond at the Bend of Slate, but Percy thinks the Ground Hog at wearing Pioneers will come up a little short. Lil_Leonards Loser Pioneers Graham @ Tazewell We Believe! Granda paw Clovis didn’t believe that the G-Men could beat those Tree Eating Rodents last week. But, apparently They Believed!!! It looks like Coach Williams has the G-Men back on track after several years of being lost on the planet Mars. But this game is a county rival match up and pride and braggin’ rights will be up for grabs. Look for some slobber knocking, head rockin, and bleacher standing this Friday night in T Town. Tazewell has a new Big Dog in place and he has been coaching his pups the old fashion way. Maybe next year Big Dog!!! Lil_Leonards Losers Tazewell Other Losers Tigers Blue Devils Generals Tornados Panthers

Folks this year, we have some special sponsors. Seems like we have a lot of fans out there and we would like to thank this week’s sponsor: DR. PROCTOR’S FART POWDER. THE SLOCUMS & YOKUMS have been using Dr. Proctor’s Fart Powder for years. It is a must at the annual SLOCUM & YOKUM CHILI BEAN COOKOFF. Also coming soon, Dr. Proctor’s Scented Fart Powder’s for those silent, sneaky, smelly farts. Comes in Cherry, Watermelon, & Strawberry scents. GET SOME TODAY!!! Now on to the pickin’ Twin Valley at Grundy Word from the Bend of Slate Crik is that the waves are looking for, at worst, a 9-1 regular season. Coach Ward may break out his Blue and Gold Hound’s-tooth hat this Friday night. Coach “It’s the Truth†had better have more tricks than a couple of onside kicks to keep this one closer than last year. Look for Little Nicky to rush for more than 200. Lil Leonard’s Loser Twin Valley Abingdon at Virginia High The Blue Buzzards will be Southbound to open the 2012 campaign against the Bristol Badgers. These clubs have been a little like Grandpa Clovis and Uncle Felix trying to get home from Martha's Place on Saturday night, it's been quite a struggle. The Blue Buzzards faced off with the Tobacco spittin' district powerhouse Eastside in a benefit game. The Buzzards fought hard to make a good showing, but came away with tobacco spit on their brand new cleats and a 29-17 loss. The Badger hosted a little get together at the friendly confines of the Badger den, but came away on the short side of things at the hands of the G-Boys and the Interstaters of Wytheville. The Buzzards will be soaring down I-81 hoping to come out like birds-of-prey, but after Coach Paul "Smoke Rolling Off All Four" Wheeler and the Badgers get ahold of 'em expect the Buzzards to look more like Blue Footed Boobys wobbling back home on the Lee Highway Lil' Leonard’s Loser Abingdon Northwood at Rye Cove This week the Smyth County Salt-Beef will be heading down to Rye Cove to take on the highflying eagles. Cousin Joe Bob said he had a good look at these clubs at the Maul-Cat Invitational up around Oakwood and the boys from SaltVegas impressed him. Look for the eagles to barely get off the ground as the Salt-Steer cow-tromp their way to victory. Lil Leonard’s Loser Rye Cove Richlands at Gate City A lot of rumors have been coming out of Scott County this summer. Been hearing about CROP CIRCLES all around the Gate City area and how Coach “Hosswright’s†football team was small and slow. Naw who has ever heard of a small & slow Gate City football team. So, Percy and Grandpa Slocum went to check it out. Guess s What Folks? It’s true, Grandpa Slocum came back and said that them thar little gray alien fellers must have abducted all them Big and Fast Devils and that was the strangest corn maze he had ever seen, All Circles. Now Coach Mance lost several key parts of the Big Blue Wind Machine from this past season, such as Strong the QB and the Big Johnson. But Coach Mance and his staff have been putting in the OT to get this year’s version of the BBWM ready for this Friday’s Kickoff. While they will be making some adjustments the first few weeks, Coach Mance still has his Johnson. (That is the Little Big Johnson). Word has it that Little Big Johnson is so quick, that when he goes to bed, he can cut off the lights and be in bed before it gets dark. Look for the Blue Devils to be running around in a daze like in a MAZE when they try to catch the BBWM this Friday night….. Lil Leonards_Losers – Gate City

Galax 14-0 – Clintwood 12-2 Speed vs Power, That’s what Coach Mullins fleet of John Deere Tractors are up against for the 3rd week in a row. After plowing over the Maroon Macaroons and clearing some new ground in Sussex for an early spring planting season, they are going to have to plow up another big speed bump this weekend in Salem. The NEW RIVER COFFIN MAKERS have finished off more opponents this year quicker than the Undertaker and his TOMBSTONE PILE DRIVER AT WRESTLMANIA. They have the ability to have you in a coffin and buried before you can say AWESOME. Percy has been watching the Green Wave boys since the days of Yogi Mooney, John McFall and Company, and thinks the world of OL’ Coach Bob Meade and says that WAVE TRADITION will help carry the day for the C.Wood boys and Galax folks, after watching Gavin Meade and the other backs run behind those BIG JOHN DEERES UP FRONT. You will understand why “nothing runs like a John Deereâ€. LLL ---- Galax Phoebus 12-2 --- South County 11-3 Grandpa Clovis has been a wild man this week, his pet rooster Phantom has been struttin’ and crowing a little higher all week long. Grandma May Belle accused both of tem of getting into Grandpa Cletus’ secret stash of wild berry juice; until Cousin Monroe Bill told her Phoebus High was playing for another state championship. (We can’t print her reply) That’s right folks when Phoebus lost 2 out of 3 at the end of the season, some were sayin’ stick a fork in ‘em their doneâ€. But the Phoebus Phantoms has fought, scratched and clawed their way to the D-5 finals just like Grandpa Clovis’ pet Fightin’ Rooster Phantom at the Blackberry Derby. However, it will be no push over in the finals. The STALLIONS from LORTON lost their first 3 games to open the season. They have KICKED, STOPED AND GALLOPED past 11 in a row heading into the final stretch. This could be one of the better games this weekend. But as Grandpa Clovis says, “you can’t tackle what you can’t see to Ketchâ€. LLL --- South County Centreville 13-1 --- Oscar Smith 13-1 Uncle Uriah’s football team has a first name and it is O-S-C-A-R. (Uncle Uriah spends a lot of time into eh Dismal Swamp) Centreville has been #1 in AAA most of the season. They lost to Westfield who became #1 and then beat them in the playoffs. Oscar lost their 1st game to Gilman, MD. (Private School) Who won their Division State Championship two weeks ago…………. Uncle Uriah says, “He’s never seen a wildcat whip a tigerâ€. But these wildcats could surprise even Uncle Uriah. LLL --- Centreville The Rest Goochland 14-0 ----- Gretna 12-2 2 Former AAs – The Goochers sould roll…. LLL --- Gretna James Monroe 13-0 ---- Brookeville 13-0 One flies through the air the other does also but can really fly on the ground too…. LLL ---- Brookeville Christiansburg 12-1 ---- Briar Wood 13-1 Demons will have a lot of trouble gettin’ out of this “BRIAR PATCH†LLL --- C.burg

Black Friday Cave Spring @ Richlands This is not about crazy people camping out at Wal-Mart or McDowell County, WV running out of West Virginia Fortune Cookies. Word on 2nd street is that the sexiest CHAIN CREW in SWVA is being replaced by an ALL-Star, Head Bangin’ Back in Black Heavy Metal Crew. That’s right folks; you could see someone from Metallica, AC-DC, Judas Priest, Black Sabbath, or Iron Maiden roaming the sidelines pulling the chains. (Uncle Uriah Heep Slocum’s kind of people). Coach Mance and His BBWM (Big Blue Wind Machine) will have to turn it up a couple of decibels this Black Friday when they host the Motley Crue from Cave Spring. The Spring Crue have rolled over several teams this year putting up some Amplified numbers and will be in a “Rage Against the Machine†and try to raise some “Mayhem†this Friday night. The Spring Crue will find out that they can’t keep the Big Johnson and Strong “Kornâ€ered all night. Look for the BBWM to be in an “Annihilator†frame of mind; raising some “Mayhem†of their own in their let the “Hammer Fall†DEFENSE. When it’s over, look for the Crue to be on the “Skid Row†back to the Spring humming Alice Cooper’s School’s out and Banging their heads. LLL – CAVE SPRING Hoanker @ Galax Honaker is still alive.!!!!!!!!!!!! (Can You believe it) Percy, and I both agree that they are the slowest 10-2 in 5 states, but they always seem to find a way to win. Once again this week it will be a battle of SPEED Vs. SIZE. Galax has about as many speed demons as they are Red Bud trees in Honaker. The Coffin Makers are a perfect 12-0 and has sanded a many of pine boxes along the way this season. Last week, they buried the Buzzard Ridge Devil and his little imps in the 2nd half down in BEAMER COUNTRY. However, this week will be different. Honaker has the size advantage but Grandpa Clovis’ rooster “Phantom†has always crowed that size doesn’t matter if you can’t catch’em. But don’t except the Den of Southwest Virginia Football to go down easy. I’m sure he will Google the Bluefield Dairy Queen for their Vanilla Milk Shake recipe, because he will need one to settle his upset stomach after his run left and run right offense gets TOMBSTONED BY THE COFFIN MAKERS. LLL – Honaker Clintwood @ George Wythe Most teams from the Mountains haven’t fared to well when they crossed through the Big Walker Mountain Funnel this year. Another Tuff Outing is in store for both squads this week. The Speed of the Macaroons vs. the Knock U Out Style of football from Clintwood. Now Ol Leonard and Percy would like nothing more than seeing the GREEN WAVE flex their muscles and bring home the bacon. We have some family members that moved from upper Virginia (around Welch WV) to the Great Mayfield’s of Pulaski County, and now have adapted GW as their “Local Teamâ€. Give me a break!!!!!! If Clintwood can catch’em they’ll win. You must remember when predicting this game. Its hunting season and those Clintwood boys wears Mossy Oak. Those running backs better be careful, because if you can see them LLL – Clintwood Note: Grandpa Clovis says the Phoebus Phantoms will put the Cock-A-Doodle-Doo on the Norcom Greyhounds for antoher Regional Championship. He says those Portsmouth City Boys wouldn't know a Hound from a Poodle. VT @ UVA Brains against Playmakers. Could get ugly for the WaHOOs….but London finds ways to win. Sorry, but the Bandwagon for UVA is full. LLL – VT Chokies

Tunstall @ Richlands Aunt Betty Lou is happier than Uncle Gladstone’s hogs in slop. She has had this date circled since August 1st. That’s right folks, not because, as all the rest of us knew that the Big Blue Wind Machine would be hosting a football game, but, because the SEXIEST CHAIN CREW IN THE STATE OF VIRGINIA WILL BE DOIN’ THEIR THANG ON THE SIDELINES. Aunt Betty says that those CHIPPIE DALE BOYS COULD TAKE LESSONS FROM THESE HUNKS. Now for the game, the DRY FORK TROJANS stopped the Cane boys win streak last weekend to earn the trip to the Blue Wind Tunnel. They will find out right quick that this is no Drizzle but A Class 5 Full blowing Blue Wind Machine. Coach Mance has had 2 weeks to oil and polish up the Big Blue Wind Machine which means trouble for everyone coming to the Bluff. The Trojans will have very little for the Big Johnson, Strong and the Rest of the Blue Machine. Aunt Betty Lou will be the wild woman on the Tunstall side checking out the chain crew. Just over look, she doesn’t get out of the Slab Fork too often. LLL -- Tunstall J.I. Burton @ Honaker Doug escaped what he would have thought was an embarrassment last week edging the Rebels late in the 4th quarter. The Rebels fought their way back into the light after giving up 19 points in the 1st quarter. Honaker is one of those teams that almost put you to sleep. Cousin Boheimer from Medium Rock WV said watching Honaker’s offense is about like watching to Heavy weight’s wrestle on the mat. Not much brainstorming or creativity going on at EMATS stadium. But, when you’re big and wear people down brainstorming isn’t necessary. As long as the outcome is a WIN…you have done your job. Orange will be everywhere, the LPD vs. the BDD. The Raiders from the City will be in full throttle for a battle with the Pride of Russell County. Everyone knows the history and tradition from both teams. Burton, speed, discipline, Championships. Honaker, ground game and Heath Miller. If Doug can keep the ball the Tigers will be purring Sunday. If Burton uses their speed and gets up a couple of Touchdowns the Tigers will be doing inventory Sunday. And Doug will be saying’ we didn’t FOCUS…duh huh LLL – Honaker Castlewood @ Galax The ol ball coach of Castlewood has sharpened his Pitch fork to a Razors edge. A lot of folks in this area had given up on the SMURFS. But it’s the second week of the Playoffs and maybe this group of Blue Devils is playing its best football at the right time. Now Galax is no push-over, however a buzz saw is heading their way. The Big Devil or Papa Smurf, which ever you care to call him, has done some good coaching this year. Now it’s time to put it on the field. The Fiddlers haven’t been Fiddling around at all, and look to show everyone they are championship material. Look for lots of points in this one, and maybe our first upset of the playoff season. LLL – you pick it…..I’m going with Galax

Folks, it is hard to believe, but the last week of the regular season is here. We started the season with a new playoff system, consolidated schools, a slew of new pups (coaches), due to some old friends retiring from the sidelines and several schools dropping from AA to A. But some things remain the same, A Tiger will in the BDD again, Clintwood uses John Deere Tractors for Linemen; Gate City is Steam rollin’ into the playoffs, “The Whine and Cheezers†are still whining. Percy and I were talkin’ playoffs and the only thing he is sure of is that – no one wants to go to Gate City, Riverheads, Clintwood or Ringgold. Grayson Co. and Riverheads are going to 1 and 2 in D2 but doesn’t know who will be #1 or #2. And that Keydet Ward is afraid he might have to go to Appomattox. Let’s get to the pickin’. BROWN BEANS & GREENS BOWL GAME Hurley @ Twin Valley Both of these teams expected more wins this season than EITHER HAVE. The Cliff people are going to the Playoffs while THE MAVISDALE MALLCATS will be packing up until next season. And Folks, “It’s the Truthâ€, Twin Valley can do something this Friday night that no Twin Valley Football team has done since the 2006 season under the Coaching of Little League Legend Charlie Vandyke, and that is, win Back-to-Back games, “It’s the Truth†Folks. Coach "Derby" Puddin’ Crigger could pull it off this Friday, especially if some of the Cliff people are thinking round ball instead of football. The Rebels coaching staff knows there’s more than Braggin’ rights on the line in this contest. A Rebel debacle could mean a trip to Wytheville for a batch of Maroon Macaroons (Brad Davis says he doesn’t like Coconut cookies†or to a John Deere Tractor pull at Clintwood. (Brain Davis says he saw enough of those tractor types at Concord). So who will take home the beans, whoever likes Brown Beans best is what Cousin Monroe says. LLL – Twin Valley Percy Note: Don’t forget the Miss Brown Bean Beauty contest Thursday night, at Guesses Fork on The Main Fork on beside of the Left Fork across from the Right Fork of Guesses Fork and the Shacks Branch Flatulent Contest after the game. Cousin Monroe is the 3-time defending champion. THE TIGER BOWL Honaker @ Haysi Once again, it is the year of the Tiger in the BDD. As usual, Honaker or Haysi will be the BDD champ in Football. A lot of you folks may not know this but this will be Duh-Huh Doug’s last trip across Big A mountain to tangle with James “Draw it up in the Sand†Colley and his Haysi Felines of a 1000 Formations. According to the people who are in charge there will be no Clintwood, Ervinton, or Haysi schools in 2013 due to consolidation. Duh-Huh Doug is hoping to secure a top 4 spot so he can host a couple of playoff games before having to travel during the Play-offs. Duh-Huh should have his Red Bud Hwy Cats’ Claws sharp for this game. But Ol’ Jimmy C. knows that a win brings him a Co-Championship and just maybe, a return trip to play The Big Devil at CWOOD. Expect Jimmie C. to add a few more formations to his 1000 formations playbook and lots of sand on his sideline just in case he needs to draw a few up during the game for his Sandlick Cats. Nowhere to go Friday Night, Percy says you had better check this one out because there are only 2 Tiger Bowls left to play… LLL – Honaker Get Car Sick Bowl Grundy @ Mt. View Last game to be played at Vic Nystrom Stadium. Some of the all time greats in Southern West Virginia have played there. Super Bowl inning players such as Tom Beasley or the Steelers (Nortfork), Tracey Gravely of the Giants (Mt. View). So many Division 1 players you couldn’t count em all. Great Coaches have won and lost on this Field. A lot of life lessons where taught between the side-lines, not to mention a few cold ones and a couple pints where killed in the seats and parking lot. But all good and bad things must come to an end. Mt. View has lost 26 straight, Grundy needs a win to make the playoffs. For Mt. View, nothing would make the closing of an iconic place better than a win. Sorry Golden Knights there will be a very High Tide in McDowell County WV Friday night. LLL – Mt. View THE MUST SEE BOWL Gate City @ Clintwood The waiting is over! All the good ole boys from Skeetrock and Caney Ridge are ready. Same goes for all the Tobacco Stackers and Float Fishermen of the South Holston River. Uncle Ernie says they will be so much Green and Gold at Ralph Cummins that you’ll think you’re at a John Deere Festival. The Clintwood PSA has turned up the pressure the last month or so, and there’s no relief in sight. Much like the Wave, Gate City has also picked up the pace after some early season “Learning Sessionsâ€. Now it’s on…….They’ll be a great demand for ice packs after this game. Halloween is over and all Devil costumes have been put away. LLL – Gate City FEATHERS WILL FLY BOWL Abingdon @ Marion Cousins Melvin and Monroe stopped by the other day to talk some football. Melvin aside if they were still playing football in Washington County. We told him that the Blue Buzzards are still tryin’ to scavenge a win here and thar. Monroe said he had noticed that that thar Falconman, Crowman or whatever hadn’t been honkin’ so much about the Buzzards this season. The Canes appear to have gotten back on course with back-to -back District wins and would love to pluck a few Buzzard feathers, before heading into the playoffs. The “Whine and Cheese†folks will have a tlot to whimper over this winter, THE FOOTBALL TEAM (losing to Marion, Stale cheese, and a bad year for Blue Goose Wine.) Cousin Melvin said they should try some Thunder Bird wine, every year is a good year for Thunder Bird, just ask Cousin Monroe. LLL -- Buzzards

The play-offs are upon us and this weekend’s games have several key matchups which may determine who may host (7 – 11 spots) and who has to travel. Also who avoids the top 4 in D2 and D1. Here are some games that several coaches will be lookin’ at. D2 Alta vista @ #9 Dan River #4 Gretna @ # 6 Appomattox #17 Graham @ #16 Ft. Chiswell #18 Lebanon @ #13 VA High #8 Wise Central @ #4 Clintwood #11 Grundy @#5 Honaker D1 #10 Rye Cove @#12 Hurley #15 Twin Springs @ #9 Thomas Walker Castlewood @ Eastside 3rd Saturday in October; Gate City – Appalachia/ Powell Valley – Appalachia / Graham and the Beavers,/ Richlands – Tazewell/ Hatfields – McCoys / and now CASTLEWOOD – EASTSIDE. That’s right folks, Castlewood – Eastside. Word is that consolidation has created a Rivalry before they have even played their first game; so much smack talk is going on. That Vince McMahon has sent some of his people to St. Paul to take notes. The Devils have benefited from a host of Travelin’ Deacons this year which has revived the Big Devil’s spirit and the Eastside Boys are thumpin’ mad over these Travelin’ Deacons losing their sense of direction. The BIG DEVIL has told his people, “If you’re scared, buy a dogâ€. Thar’s more than braggin’ rights on the line in this tussle. A Devil win could let the Devils host a 1st Round Playoff game. An Eastside win means a higher playoff seed. Folks you had better get thar early if you want a good parking spot. Hotdogs, funnel cakes, programs, pom-poms and don’t fergit all those election year freebies. This should be a knock-down, slobber-knocker game; but we don’t think Joe Clark of the Eastside High Ghosts could raise this bunch of Eastsiders to a Victory. LLL – Eastside Grundy @ Honaker For years Grundy has terrorized the BDD. However, this is the G’s inaugural season in the BDD and Grundy has always had an open spot in the trophy case for their imaginary BDD trophy,(Beside their beloved SWD trophies) this year they might just bring the real one home. Hubbard’s Tigers made a trip to Exit 7 last week and forgot they had a football game to play. Apparently they were declawed at the Pet Smart beside Target during their bath and shampooing. Honaker’s ONE TRICK PONY will not be able to keep up with the new bullies of the BDD. LLL – Honaker Tazewell @ Abingdon The Bull Pups have been learning how to hike their leg all season against some of the toughest teams in SWVA. Sometimes they have been close to gettin’ thar and sometimes they’ve just been knocked flat down on their puppy tails. The Blue Buzzards have played their usual Bristol based schedule and have eked out a couple of wins. The Buzzards, well, we were told by cousins Faylene and Gaylene not to say anything bad because they still have high hopes of sparkin’ with SouthBound and Falconman. This may be the week that all those hard knocks and Butt Thumpin’s the Bull Pups have taken pays off. Look for the Bull Pups to finally hike their leg this Friday. LLL – Blue Buzzards Percy note: tune into Larry Hypes on Kicks Country. One of the best high school football radioman. If not the best. Gretna @ Appomattox Best game in this half of the State. The Hawks of Gretna are on their usual roll. Superior athletes usually win big games. This year’s version of poultry is no less impressive as compared to years past. The Courthouse boys are forcing surrender at a record pace, and they honestly feel they can ground the Hawks. (Good Luck with that !!!) It’s sure to be a playoff atmosphere in A-Ville Friday night. Don’t know about concessions up there, but I’m sure you can find some BBQ, fries, and gravy. LLL – Courthouse Boys Twin Valley @ Ervinton If this was College Football these teams would be playing in the Andrew Luck Bowl. These two teams practice and play as hard if not harder than most teams in these parts. Wins for these squads has been hard to come by, so maybe this might be the best match-up this week. Both want another win, both have injured players, so what will be the difference? Home Field, Officals, Coaching? Melvin ( a Championship Coon Dog Breeder and Hunter from Drill) told me it’s all about Desire. He says the size of the Dog really does matter…. LLL -- Ervinton

Huntin' Season is in and the City Boys and the G-Boys will bag them a biggin' this week. There will be many Bear rugs for sale come Saturday morning. Just check at the corner at Graham Pharmacy and the Long Johns Silvers parking lot across from Gate City High School. LLL -- The Bears Salem @ Christiansburg Percy was up the Roanoke way last Saturday and as usual came back AFUSSIN!!! Said he was goin’ down to Wally’s Hardware and Lumber Co; buy a can of yellor paint; send it to Salem High with how to Directions on paintin’ a 96*. Percy has a long Memory. Percy said he wished that THE EVIL EMPIRE had made this game one of them “UNDERTAKER†CASKET MATCHES. We can’t print the rest of Percy’s thoughts and comments on Salem, because Ol’ Lance would have to delete us. Except this: THE EVIL EMPIRE WILL CRADE, SPLADLE, DRESSER DUMP AND BURY THE SPARTANS. LLL --- Salem THE BATTLE OF GREENBRIAR It’s a big week in southwest Virginia, this week features the opening two installments in the Battle of Greenbriar as the boys from Buchanan County and Dickenson County are butting heads on the Gridiron Friday. Bring your Carhartt jacket and wear you long underwear folk we’ve got a couple of good ones on our hand. Haysi vs. Hurley The Sandlick Circus led by Impresario Colley will be heading over to Smiley Ratliff Field at the Cliff to take on the Runnin’ Rebels. The Tiggers will be looking for some retribution after getting chased off the field last year by the Rebels. Percy’s cousin Clovis sitting around the bar at Martha’s said Coach Colley and the Tiggers have been practicing at least 4 distinct variations of the sleeper play to be ready for this one. This also shapes up to have potential impact on which team takes home the Golden Coal Bucket this year, as a Haysi victory would set them up challenge that other bunch of Tigers later this year. The Rebels have been running harder than a 4-wheeler on Knox Creek on 3rdof the month and have grabbed four solid Ws this season. Look for some high flying antics at the cliff, but in the end the Tiggers walk the tight rope right to victory over the Rebels. LLL--- Rebels Clintwood vs. Grundy The other Buc-Dic match up will be a slobber-knocker as the Clintwood PSA rolls into the Big Pond to take on the Slate Creek Crawdads. The PSA proved they’re the real deal pulling after starting the year 1-2. In the last four weeks, the PSA washed off the Pioneers, Raiders, and Generals and left the Vik-Dogs paddling for shore. The Crawdads might be the biggest surprise in Southwest Virginia as they have put together three wins in as many weeks. The folks sitting on the benches at the Grundy Walmart have surprised by the Golden Boys and Head Crawdad Jeremy have beat, thumped, knocked, smacked, kicked, gouged, clawed, scratched, and fought their way to a 5-2 record this season. The Golden Boys have something to prove Friday, but Percy thinks they might come up a little short in this contest. LLL--- The Crawdads Dickenson County is looking to lay the beat down on the Boys from the Buc this week, but don’t feel bad for the BUC-a-roos. According to the sales papers Percy’s mom got in the mail, the Grundy Walmart is having a big sale on Mossy Oak appear and Rifle Season is just around the corner. Abingdon @ Richlands Why did Richlands put down field Turf? Because, some games are not worth painting the lines and numbers. This is one of those games!!!!! Not much competition for the wind machine on this year’s schedule. It may come back to haunt the Doran Dusters when playoff football starts. Abingdon has really struggled this season and this week could really be magnified. Clarence (from over in the bottom) says A-Towns defense will look like a Hog on Roller Skates. Luckily for the fans going to this one, a mercy rule will let the clock run straight through after the Tornadoes’ get a 35 point lead. LLL – Abingdon UGLY GAMES Narrows @ Galax The Narrows River Waders will find out that the New River at Galaw runs Faster, Rougher, Deeper and more swift than they can say sawdust!!!! LLL – Narrows George Wyth @ Patrick Henry Hope someone is selling some good Fried Apple Pies, Stack Cake with fresh Apple Butter, Funnel Cakes, or other goodies because the Rowdy Rebels will definitely not like the after taste of this Maroon Mac. LLL --- PH Footnote: Hurley Rebels, can you say Maroon Macaroons????? (11-11-11)

Clintwood @ J. I. Burton The Clintwood, P=SA will be rolling into Norton this Friday nite. Now the Wave has had it put to them a couple times this season, which is about as rare as finding Hen’s teeth in Granda Pa Clovis’ Chickens. It appears that Coach Rick has made a few adjustments and his BIG GREEN JOHN DEERE TRACTORS HAVE BEEN PLOWING EVERYONE UNDER THE LAST FEW WEEKS. The High Knob Ridge-Lopers have been off to their usual blazing start. Percy was told that the Ridge-Lopers have a Crowder Kid at QB that has almost as many moves as the Crowder guy on 93.5 FM has tall TALES. Burton has only been really tested once this season a 35-34 win over Lee. The Cuzzins on Toms Creek Mountain are still GRININ’ AND TALKIN’ about Clintwood’s trip to Grayson County and according to Great-Great Uncle Elijah. Lighting can strike twice. LLL—Clintwood Percy fact – Winner of this game will be LPD champs. Hurley @ Honaker 50 years of Honaker Football!!! What a celebration……The Sword Creek Maulers are on the back end of their regular season schedule and are preparing their sacred ground for a 1st round play-off game. O Hubbard has been mixing Vanilla Milk Shakees all year long with his high potent offense, run right/run left/ run up the middle. Percy loves old school football and the Tigers are showing everybody in SWVA that OLD SCHOOL IS STILL COOL. So let’s get this right…..Homecoming, 50 year celebration, Tiger Football, funnel cakes, homecoming queens, political ads and signs everywhere you turn, and an open week for the Pittsburg Steelers??????? And don’t forget the Hurley Rebels. WHAT A NIGHT!!!!!! Percy and Leonard might just check this party of orange and black out in person. Percy say’s that those Rebels love to play on plastic grass. You better come early, because the fans , pens, and nail files, key chains, pencils, stickers, signs will go quick….you know how election years are…. LLL--- the fans who get there too late, to get Heath Millers Autograph…… Galax @ Graham You would think that once you got through Bluefield, Princeton and Richlands things would get easier, wrong!!! The G-Men got welcomed to the MED last week and now Galax will bring a welcoming dish to the friendly confines of Mitchell Stadium. The Fiddlers from Carroll have done all the Pickin-n-grinin this year; and have a tune all picked out for the G-Boys. Graham has played top notch completion all season, but they results will be the same. LLL – Graham Marion @ Taz Ol Leonard knows that there have been a lot of changes in T-town since last season. New Coach, New Uniforms, New offense, New Defense, the only thing that carried over is the losing. The last time the Pups got to taste victory was one year ago against this weeks opponent, Marion. On the other side of the mountain, this year’s Hurricane is like a lite mist. For each community it’s a chance for a win. The Boys from Tip Top have given an all clear signal for any approaching storm. Little do they know a Tropical Depression has been spotted at Hungry Mother Park headed toward the Dog-Pound. LLL – Tazewell Union vs. Wise Central The Consolidation Bowl I’ve heard a few folks say this might be the biggest game in Wise County since UVa-Wise swatted the Waspers in the Southwest Virginia Bowl earlier this year. This year’s installment of the first ever LPD Consolidation Bowl has the boys from THE BSG heading up to Wise to take on the Redskins. Percy’s cousin Barney down in Stonega says everybody in his neighborhood thinks real highly of the VikDogs and for good reason. This season the VikDogs have pulled out almost more close victories than there are State Championship Trophies at Union High. There isn’t much doubt both teams will be at a fever pitch coming into this game, but by the end of the night there will be more Indians on the turf than at the end of a Randolph Scott movie. LLL --Central

Grundy @ Meadow Bridge, WV The Slate Crik boys will hit the road this Friday after pulling out a close 21-20 victory over Castlewood. The boys from the Crik are in a close Battle with 3 other teams for a November excursion to exotic Ringgold, Va. This will be the first ever meeting between these two teams in football and the start of a lot of trips to other out-of-the-way places for Wave Football fans. Now this will not be an easy’ trip for the Crik boys. They’ll be facing a bunch of Peed-off Wildcats who suffered their first “L†of the season last Friday to the Valley Grey Hounds of Smithers. These Cats got chased, treed, and mauled last week. Percy and I just don’t know that much about Meadow Bridge, so we asked Great Uncle Azcue who has traveled all over the GREAT AND WONDERFUL STATE OF WEST VIRGINIA (Home of the West Virginia Fortune Cookie). He looked at MB’s Wins and told us anyone who can win on the road at Hico, WV. Must be fairly tough. Lil’Leonards_Losers – The Crik boys Haysi vs. Thomas Walker The Ringling Brothers, Barnum, Bailey and Colley Circus are taking the show on the road this week. Impresario Colley will lead his Tiggers on the long road trip to Ewing to take on the Tommy Walker Sodbusters. Last week, the Sodbusters sent another Coal Bucket District team packing with a big win over the Runnin’ Rebels. The Tiggers were open last week and the word around Sand Lick is The Man of 1000 Formations came up with a new few tricks one. The Sodbusters are hoping to do their best lion tamer imitation this week, but they are gonna need more than a whip and a chair to tame the Tiggers. Lil Leonard’s Loser ---Thomas Walker Rural Retreat vs. Chilhowie A big Pow Wow is taking place this week as a couple of Tribes are getting together down at the Big Orchard in Chilhowie. This could be a big night for both teams if they hope to grab their piece of Hogo glory. Percy’s cousin Clovis thinks this Chilhowie could be the place to be Friday , since he heard the concession stand his gonna be having a BOGO sell on fried apple pies. All Native Americans involved will be leaving it all on the field, but only one team can bring home the scalps. Lil Leonard’s Loser---Chilhowie Hurley @ Tri-Cities Christian The Apostles are 3-3 and are looking to convert another bunch of Rebels from their rowdy ways. However Coach Davis’s defense has not missed a prayer meeting all season, and his Band of Rebels are getting back to the Straight and Narrow Way. After a long game and a longer bus ride at Thomas Walker last week, look for Hurley to be at the Fort Henry Mall before closing, wearing a great Big W. Lil’Leonards_Losers – Tri CC Lee @ Clintwood The Generals will bring the Ben-Hur option attack to downtown Clintwood Friday night. The question is will they bring any defense with them? The Clintwood PSA got their pumps back on line after Grayson Co. blew out their O Rings. The Cuzins from SkeetRock claim the Wave has their swagger back. Percy thinks this will be a shoot-out on the ground. Cuzin Bo-Bo says the Lee Co. boys will be too tired from “stakin-backer†to put up much of a fight. Lil’Leonards_Losers – Lee Co.