southbound

Dad sent this to me:
 
See the message below and support the Falcon Regiment.
 
What:   Abingdon High School Band – Bingo Fundraiser
 
When:  November 16, 2013 (Saturday)  
 
Where:  Abingdon High School Cafeteria
 
Additional Information:  Doors open at 3:00 p.m. and bingo begins at 4:00 p.m.
Cards are $5 each or three for $12.  Concessions will be sold.

My daddy told me to stay off the board but just like when I was in middle school and in love I just couldn't stay away. I remember coming home to mom several times and she would comfort me and tell me its going to be ok. I always felt better after mom talked to me and assured me things would work out. Look how far I've come now. Wow! Well lets get to the game of the week in Rednecklands (daddy calls it that and laughs). Do you guys want to take a trip down memory lane? If I recall me and Falconman warned you several times that domination was coming. Did you guys listen? Most of you were to busy with your cigarettes and chewing tobacco you didnt pay attention! Speaking of that if anyone gets around me tomorrow night with a cigarette or spits I will go straight to a 5-0. You have been warned! The rest of you its time to stand up and salute the Falcons!!!! The only concern I have for this game is the illegal whistles. When I played against Richlands daddy said I would have had 20 tackles or so but people kept blowing whistles in the crowd. By the way 1 of there touchdowns came because of this. My dad called the VHSL to report this behavior totally uncalled for!! I felt sick most of the next day because people were smoking inside the stadium during the game. NEWSFLASH you bunch of rednecks but this is against the LAW! ENOUGH ABOUT THESE IGNORANT ISSUES ON THE FIELD OF PLAY WE ARE AT LEAST 21 POINTS BETTER. Dad told me a story last night about the game tomorrow. He said Stripes got out of the house last week and wanted to play in the yard when the neighborhood bully a pit bull dog came by and chased him up a tree. Daddy came out of the house and saved Stripes by running the dog off when Stripes came out of the tree he was shaking and scared. Dad took him inside and thought of this example as the Falcons being the pit bull and Richlands being Stripes. He smiled at me and said if the referees don't step in this could get ugly. Dad always had good stories to motivate me and Falconman to always give our best and want more. Ha ha!! Dad said Stripes is happy and the Falcons will win 45-21. Anyone for victory tacos?

Every year you jackarses want some Falconman.  You remind me of all the dames out there who are just trying to hang with the man, the myth, the legend:  FALCONMAN.  A couple of keystrokes on here and you guys become entertained, enraged and fulfilled.  Happy to provide a service to you jokers!.  Speaking of jokers,  I’m about tired of hearing the term “Storm Warning†every time we play the naders you fat arses bring it up. Well, after watching you last year at FALCON HILL, and some highlights of you this year, it’s more like “SNORE WARNING!†I yawn at the notion that you are on the level of my FALCONS!  What is there to do over there in Richlands besides go to Walmart, eat fast food, and sit your fat arses in front of a tv & become inspired by the former Kardashian star Bruce Jenner.  I bet the WHOLE TOWN  haS special viewings of  his new show “I AM KAT†at the local pizza store or movie theatre (if you have one).  Let me go ahead and patton this hash tag #snorewarning.  Twitter will be buzzing tomorrow night with that one boys. Questions for the game: can the Falcons win the special team battle?  Can the naders slow down the Falcon Express?  With speed and precision on our Offense we are probably going to OFFEND the onlookers and maybe even inspire a few naders to believe in the FALCONS.  WE’RE NOT 7-0 FOR NOTHING!!  Just ask Christiansburg,  faster than lightning and precise as surgeon worked on Adrain Petterson’s knee.  Sources were quoted saying – “Doc you realize you’re working on a $50 milion knee, don’t you need some help, a wingman? Doc replied, “who needs a wingman when you’re a kamikaze!†We all know A.P. is playing because that Dr was the best and so are my Falcons.  Finally, I’ve decided to properly prepare for this game because last year it caught me off guard.  They say confession is good for the FOOT.  I must confess I wasn’t properly prepared for the beat down my Falcons did last year!  This year will be different.  Tomorrow I am going to eat my breakfast, drink me a bloody mary, & go see the chiropractor.  I am going to say, “Doc get my hips loose and make sure I’m properly adjusted because I’m going to Whip & Bae Bae on the “R†after we take down the blownaders tonight!† GO FALCONS!!!! #SNOREWARNING #IAMKAT #FEARTHEBEAK #WHIPONTHE-R
 
PS:  Who is Union?

Wow. What a week? Dad smiled at me yesterday and said Camelot couldn't be better. All I have been doing is lifting and running getting ready for the oppurtinity to play. Dad watched the Wasps play Saturday and said I would like to see you out there next year. Guys I feel like I'm ready lifting has got me swolled and dad thinks I have gotten alot faster. Dad just smiled and said your time is coming and I can't wait. 
Speaking of waiting I am ready for a little trick or drink this Friday night. FM made some kind of jello for us to try. Dad just laughed and said boys I will stick with my wine. I wouldn't mind to come down to Richlands and knock on some doors in my Falcon gear. Knock Knock..  who's there? Southy and FM..  Southy and FM who?  The ones who kicked your arse last week.   LOL!!!!
 
We might just stop by after the Tazewell trip guys-get out all your good stuff and hand it over Losers!  Ha ha!!!   We want your cowbells, air horns, food stamps, government cheese, Medicaid cards, cigarettes, and beer. LOL

Wow. What a week? Dad smiled at me yesterday and said Camelot couldn't be better. All I have been doing is lifting and running getting ready for the oppurtinity to play. Dad watched the Wasps play Saturday and said I would like to see you out there next year. Guys I feel like I'm ready lifting has got me swolled and dad thinks I have gotten alot faster. Dad just smiled and said your time is coming and I can't wait. 
Speaking of waiting I am ready for a little trick or drink this Friday night. FM made some kind of jello for us to try. Dad just laughed and said boys I will stick with my wine. I wouldn't mind to come down to Richlands and knock on some doors in my Falcon gear. Knock Knock..  who's there? Southy and FM..  Southy and FM who?  The ones who kicked your arse last week.   LOL!!!!
 
We might just stop by after the Tazewell trip guys-get out all your good stuff and hand it over Losers!  Ha ha!!!   We want your cowbells, air horns, food stamps, government cheese, Medicaid cards, cigarettes, and beer. LOL

Did you guys miss Stripes?

Its obvious everyone is trying to join this wagon.  Only there's no room for all of you who have doubted us for years.  I hope you and your teams saddle up this year for the SOARING FALCONS!  #FEARTHEBEAK

What are the odds of a win this week at Marion to sneak in the playoffs? I ask dad what the scenarios were for the Falcons he told me the following:
We are currently 19th in the standingd and need to jump three teams. Fort Defience, Blacksburg, and Tunstall all three of these teams we feel like the Falcons would beat. All we nee to do is win this week look for some help and we would be in the regionals. Dad said the best team is this region is Heritege Lynchburg he is still trying to find out some stuff about them. If we could jump to 15 we might have West Albemarles and 14 we get Lord Boutetort. We have scrimmaged against them and did pretty good according to my peeps. Which one of these is the best match up for the Falcons, i would say LB because we played them before. Dad said we never showed them anything that we typically are smart in scrimmages and don't tip our hand.
This Marion team is not really good and we have had their number the last few years. I think they lost to Chilhowie and Northwood early in year. Va High whipped them last week so we should have the momentim in this game. The Falcons have heart and dad says that wins alot of games. Stripes is in a good mood this week he loves the playoffs --he picks the Falcons 35-14. Fear The Beak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What up guys. Have you missed me? I have been so busy with college been really hard to find time to chat you with you boyz! There have been many times I wanted to post on here and my gal would not let me. She wanted some sb time-you get it guys? It will probable take you boyz some time to figure that out, I will get FM to explain it to you. Ha ha!!!
Lets talk some Falcon football. We almost made history this last week. Who would have thought we would go to the big Richlands and smack them around. From what I hear and listening to dad talk we dominated them and were more physical just gave it away. I hate to remind you guys but I called this several years ago. My predictions are coming true! When are you guys going to wake up and listen??? This was the last year for Richlands to beat us. We will own this district like my boy Lil' Wayne runs young money. We have been so close to being really good this year and we have talent coming. Our 8th grade team lost 1 game and that was to Gate City who cheated and played old kids against us. How can you play 2 or 3 years of 8th grade football, I don't understand you should not be eligible for varsity. Can you redshirt in 8th grade? I am confused. Our jv team is undefeated last I heard. All I can say is WOW! What are you guys gonna do when the birds come looking for you! I made that one up the other night with FM hanging with our girls.
I would like to take a minute and invite everyone to Falcon Field Friday night as we play Tazewell. This is your last chance to witness The Entrance this year and to say goodbye to some quality young men. I know what this game meant to me and dad last year. I saw him watching it a few weeks ago and he had a tear in his eye. I ask him what was wrong and he said where did all the years go I just want you put on that Falcon uniform one more time and come down the steps while everyone jumps up and down. Said the first time he saw us come out he had a flashback of Lane Stadium and thought the Hokies were coming out. I said dad I miss it and he winked and said "let me tell you I was so proud watching you march down those steps to go whip some a$$. I lol'd and said you are the best Dad in the world. Tazewell you better get ready for the Falcons and next week need I say more Marion. Dad said the only good thing there is Macado's and now they have one in Bristol Thank God! Ha ha!!
I need to mention my girl loves Stripes, she wants to take her home. I laughed and said you don't me that cat is my life. Good to be back boyz!
 
Stripes picks Falcons 38-7 over Puppies Friday night. All i can say is wait till next year guys the Falcons are coming!!!!!!!!!

So this is the thread that Dad said was trying to put my boy Falconman down?  Hmmm . . . I would just say that you guys are not worth me getting all worked up about.  City of Raven, are you Chinese?  You say that Stripes is your jerky?

The scene of the crime:  http://www.tricities.com/sports/
 
Haha, I love Precious now!!!!
 
Falcons!!!!
 
City of Smell - earn respect by bending over!!!!
 
Falcons!!! Rule!

Appreciate all the cool comments, I have learned how to be a winner by overcoming adversity. We are heading to lake today to catch some waves, hey FM are you coming by? Dad says the best team doesn't always win example friday night. The falcons were 2 scores better but turnovers killed us. BTW that is the most falcon spirit i have seen at a game in a while. Watching the entrance brought tears to my eyes that is amazing to see from the crowd. I have said before the most electrifying entrance in high school football. If anyone has not seen it i recommend you to get out to a falcon home game. Amazing!  What i would not give to walk with my falcon brothers one more time. Hey FM you will need to bring your gps this week no clue how to get to gate city. Dad said it is in kingsport how could that be? Is there a Hooter's in Kport? Me and FM  will hit that for sure. Get ready this week Falcons you should get a win. Dad said GC kind of weak this year. Victory Tacos????

Its that time again, the battle for the top dog in Washington County.  Falcons or Trojans?  Well, its a no brainer what my thought is - FALCONS!!! LETS GO!  After a long hard summer of trimming bushes and manicuring lawns, its time to get painted up and rock the "Fear the Beak" proudly on this sculpted chest!  Its been a long summer, including Southy and I not getting along.  Here's my plea Southbound, lets just let things go, (she isn't worth our friendship) lets come together for Falcons sake.  They need us!  I want things to go well Friday.  Plans - get off work early, shower, get painted up, watch the Falcons dominate the Tro's, drive 5 miles, cross the border, and eat some VICTORY TACO'S!  How bout it Southy?  Let's do this!