I gave up on christianity

[buzzsawBeaver 12]

I simply don't believe in what the Bible says overall anymore, although oddly I still believe very much in Jesus. But I don't know what to believe about Jesus or his purpose.

There's more reasons not to believe many words of the bible in my opinion than there are to believe them.

The difficult questions that a lot of people have about evil and suffering and this world have made me really question my beliefs. I've had a lot of deep thoughts about such questions throughout much of my life but I just blindly believed in the words of the Bible. It was easier to believe than what is unfortunately more likely.

I can't bring myself to not believe there's not a God, but I simply can't believe that if there is a God that He's the God the Bible says He is.

[BigBlueAlum 12]

I feel ya man. I know exactly what you are going through. And it is really something that is hard to talk about with anyone, because most people do not think logically when talking about religion, because religion in and of itself is not logical.

 

I'm not sure if this is something you would be interested in, but I watched a "documentary", if you can call it that, by Bill Maher, called "Religulous". It is sorta funny, but it really makes you think about things in a different perspective. I'm sure you just love Bill Maher!! :)

 

I dont like to talk about my religous views to anyone, so I wont say exactly how I belive, but I will say that I find the concept of religion fasinating. The way that one person can say that one religion is nonsense, but then if you really look at any religion from the outside they can all be considered nonsense from a logical view.

[Guest JJBrickface]

FAITH.

 

That is what its all about. It would be too easy to go through life knowing all of the answers.

 

This is not a time to give up on your faith, but a time to reaffirm it.

[Deleted Account 5,203]

I simply don't believe in what the Bible says overall anymore, although oddly I still believe very much in Jesus. But I don't know what to believe about Jesus or his purpose.

There's more reasons not to believe many words of the bible in my opinion than there are to believe them.

The difficult questions that a lot of people have about evil and suffering and this world have made me really question my beliefs. I've had a lot of deep thoughts about such questions throughout much of my life but I just blindly believed in the words of the Bible. It was easier to believe than what is unfortunately more likely.

I can't bring myself to not believe there's not a God, but I simply can't believe that if there is a God that He's the God the Bible says He is.

 

It saddens me to hear this. If you'll kindly read what follows, I'd be appreciative.

 

The Bible itself often claims that the world is going to have much evil and suffering. The Old Testament wasn't exactly sunshine and rainbows; nay, the Jews lost their homeland for nearly 2700 years amidst war after war. And Revelation is another book that doesn't exactly bring comfort until you get to the final books of the chapter. The world itself is living in sin, and has been borne of sin ever since the first two people have walked this Earth. "For the wages of sin is death", I believe the Bible says. The Bible recalls that the 3rd person who walked the Earth killed the 4th. The Bible paints a vivid, true picture here, one which reminds an attentive reader very much of the world we live in today.

 

The book of Job is another book I'd suggest reading at a time like this, specifically addressing the existence of pain and suffering amidst God's presence. Walking in God's will isn't going to be easy, and He Himself even allowed Satan to test Job just to show how solid Job's dedication to the Lord was. For those not familiar with it (though I'd assume many are), the man lost absolutely everything. He had nothing but boils. Yet he still praised God in the face of severe criticism and was delivered from his woes.

 

What overcomes all this pain and suffering is God's redeeming grace, a faith-based proposition. If you're looking for this redemption and comfort in the world itself, you're barking up the wrong tree, brother. For in the world you won't find the comfort of God, but only placing your faith and trust in Him can one separate himself/herself from the evils of this world. To be frank, this world sucks. It does. But I steadfastly believe that this is so because the world at large operates without a moral code. It's happened this way for thousands of years, and it's not going to change.

 

As a friend, I just want you to be informed of a bit of the theological doctrine before you finalize your decision to turn from Christianity. It's not impossible, nay essential, to reconcile suffering in the world with God's divine grace.

[buzzsawBeaver 12]

I feel ya man. I know exactly what you are going through. And it is really something that is hard to talk about with anyone, because most people do not think logically when talking about religion, because religion in and of itself is not logical.

 

I'm not sure if this is something you would be interested in, but I watched a "documentary", if you can call it that, by Bill Maher, called "Religulous". It is sorta funny, but it really makes you think about things in a different perspective. I'm sure you just love Bill Maher!! :)

 

I dont like to talk about my religous views to anyone, so I wont say exactly how I belive, but I will say that I find the concept of religion fasinating. The way that one person can say that one religion is nonsense, but then if you really look at any religion from the outside they can all be considered nonsense from a logical view.

 

It certainly is an emotional subject, and many people associate their beliefs with the most personal matters of their lives, I know I do. 1 thing about it is I wouldn't have considered myself religious for maybe 2 decades. I have been more just a "believer", basically in Jesus. Church and religion did more to isolate me from religious people than it did make me feel closer. But that's overall, there certainly were some good individual people in churches that I've known.

I don't care for bill maher's politics overall, I haven't even seen any of his shows or interviews for years, but he seemed to be affable enough, and I did commonly tend to agree with his views about animals rights and a few other things.

[buzzsawBeaver 12]

FAITH.

 

That is what its all about. It would be too easy to go through life knowing all of the answers.

 

This is not a time to give up on your faith, but a time to reaffirm it.

 

I can't reaffirm what I simply don't have.

[Deleted Account 5,203]

I can't reaffirm what I simply don't have.

 

I quote you verbatim: "But I don't know what to believe about Jesus or his purpose."

This is in contrast to what I've quoted from you above.

Indecision is entirely different than a complete denial. Which view do you have?

[buzzsawBeaver 12]

It saddens me to hear this. If you'll kindly read what follows, I'd be appreciative.

 

The Bible itself often claims that the world is going to have much evil and suffering. The Old Testament wasn't exactly sunshine and rainbows; nay, the Jews lost their homeland for nearly 2700 years amidst war after war. And Revelation is another book that doesn't exactly bring comfort until you get to the final books of the chapter. The world itself is living in sin, and has been borne of sin ever since the first two people have walked this Earth. "For the wages of sin is death", I believe the Bible says. The Bible recalls that the 3rd person who walked the Earth killed the 4th. The Bible paints a vivid, true picture here, one which reminds an attentive reader very much of the world we live in today.

 

The book of Job is another book I'd suggest reading at a time like this, specifically addressing the existence of pain and suffering amidst God's presence. Walking in God's will isn't going to be easy, and He Himself even allowed Satan to test Job just to show how solid Job's dedication to the Lord was. For those not familiar with it (though I'd assume many are), the man lost absolutely everything. He had nothing but boils. Yet he still praised God in the face of severe criticism and was delivered from his woes.

 

What overcomes all this pain and suffering is God's redeeming grace, a faith-based proposition. If you're looking for this redemption and comfort in the world itself, you're barking up the wrong tree, brother. For in the world you won't find the comfort of God, but only placing your faith and trust in Him can one separate himself/herself from the evils of this world. To be frank, this world sucks. It does. But I steadfastly believe that this is so because the world at large operates without a moral code. It's happened this way for thousands of years, and it's not going to change.

 

As a friend, I just want you to be informed of a bit of the theological doctrine before you finalize your decision to turn from Christianity. It's not impossible, nay essential, to reconcile suffering in the world with God's divine grace.

 

I appreciate that sincerely, and without a doubt I've considered the bigger scheme of what the Bible says about evil and this world, I've even debated the story of job on another site in recent months, and while those ideas themselves can be reasoned, it's the individual relationship people have or don't have with any God, our individual lives and experiences which dictate our beliefs.

In the bigger scheme it's these very stories and the state of the world that makes me really doubt the Bible that tells us there's a loving God who desires a personal relationship with everyone.

The story the Bible tells overall seems to be 1 that is very contradictory to the idea of love and goodness, and basically shows a train wreck of a story from the very start, with all due respect to your opinion, you seem to recognize that yourself, myself I'm having a hard time believing it all just gets good at some point.

[Guest BEAVERTAIL]

Two things in life have at points in my life, made me think of not believing in God. What is amazing to me, is that they are very similar to yours. I think.

 

For one, I am a person who desperately searches for truth. I want to know the truth about everything. About 3 years ago, I realized you simply can not do that with God. Sure there are the dead sea scrolls, the fact that the Bible never contradicts itself, and other historical artifacts, but I always felt there was something that would bolster my faith in cement. There is not. But then I realized something, God meant for there to be no concrete proof. That would ruin the relationship and faith we have with Him. Your believe in God has to be from within, that is what He wants. Believing in artifacts would be like worshipping an idol. I realized this while reading "Blue Like Jazz", and I suggest it for anyone.

 

Early in life, which really isnt early for most of you, I went through a pretty hard time. And Brian Checcio, the preacher at the Wade Center now, said "God puts us through storms, so that we will grow in strength and faith with Him. All of you are going through a storm, just got out of a storm, or are getting ready to go into one." That is without a doubt the greatest memory I will ever have, and I always think of that talk when things go bad. I know that sometimes its hard to get around it, but things happen for a reason. Numerous times, I have been so mad or upset, the only comfort I have is in the Bible and the words I recieve from it. And I truly think the hard times strengthen my beliefs in Him.

 

Now, all that being said, I do not read the Bible as much as I should and I often sin. My words may have something wrong. But I feel strongly about what I wrote and my faith. Just some examples from my life.

[buzzsawBeaver 12]

I quote you verbatim: "But I don't know what to believe about Jesus or his purpose."

This is in contrast to what I've quoted from you above.

Indecision is entirely different than a complete denial. Which view do you have?

 

I don't have the faith in the story the Bible tells about who God is, as it might apply to me personally. But without a doubt Jesus lived and is worthy of being considered the best example of a loving God like person that could be.

It's deep, but I guess if it makes any sense, I can relate to Jesus because he suffered on earth as so many others have and do.

[Deleted Account 5,203]

I appreciate that sincerely, and without a doubt I've considered the bigger scheme of what the Bible says about evil and this world, I've even debated the story of job on another site in recent months, and while those ideas themselves can be reasoned, it's the individual relationship people have or don't have with any God, our individual lives and experiences which dictate our beliefs.

In the bigger scheme it's these very stories and the state of the world that makes me really doubt the Bible that tells us there's a loving God who desires a personal relationship with everyone.

The story the Bible tells overall seems to be 1 that is very contradictory to the idea of love and goodness, and basically shows a train wreck of a story from the very start, with all due respect to your opinion, you seem to recognize that yourself, myself I'm having a hard time believing it all just gets good at some point.

 

I appreciate your reply, and I understand how you feel that it might have a hard time getting good. There's a lot of strife in this world, I know we both agree on this. And I completely agree with you that individual experiences have a great impact on a person's holding or not holding religious beliefs.

 

I respectfully but strongly disagree that the Bible is both contradictory to the idea and love and goodness and is a train-wreck of a work. In fact, I find it harmoniously ordered. If you take the Old Testament by itself, I think you might have a stronger case. However, even there, you have such stories of triumph like Job, Daniel and the lion's Den, Jonah, and I could go on. Though the New Testament is truly the Gospel of Love. Centrally, Jesus laying down his life on the cross and overcoming death by not being in that tomb on the 3rd day. Tangentially, the disciples giving themselves wholly to spread the word of God and finding inner peace in doing the Lord's work. For greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for his brother.

 

Of course, there's hardship; it wouldn't be life as we know it without hardship. Jesus was crucified, and Peter was crucified upside-down. Paul was martyred, John the Baptist was beheaded, and John the Revelator was exiled to Patmos. Not to mention the complete destruction of Jerusalem in 70 AD by the Romans that goes largely unmentioned in dogmatic texts. It's not pretty, and it's in Genesis through Revelation. And its ever present today; instead of defending Jerusalem against the attacks of the Romans, we're defending our homeland against the attacks of terrorists. Instead of fighting wars between the kingdoms of Israel and Judah, we're fighting wars between Israel and Palestine. History draws some interesting parallels.

 

But I firmly believe that a lack of adversity/suffering/death weakens faith in those who choose to have it, TBH. It is in the lowest of low times where one digs down deep inside oneself and discovers what they are truly made of and what they truly believe. Some people show the willingness to dedicate themselves to a faith-based proposition, others do not. Though I personally firmly believe in my heart of hearts in God and the faith-based proposition. One will not find what is good in this world; in the world lies the adversity/suffering/death. It is what is inside one, namely the faith for those that choose to have it, which will eventually lead a believer to God's glory.

 

In short, to have love and goodness, I believe that the Bible teaches that one must have a firm grasp on adversity and pain both as both the antithesis to love and goodness and what you must bear in order to encounter than love and goodness. Thus the overarching story of the Bible that God's gifts, faith/hope/love, will overcome and persevere.

[Deleted Account 5,203]

I don't have the faith in the story the Bible tells about who God is, as it might apply to me personally. But without a doubt Jesus lived and is worthy of being considered the best example of a loving God like person that could be.

It's deep, but I guess if it makes any sense, I can relate to Jesus because he suffered on earth as so many others have and do.

 

I understand, I think. If this is your position, I would assume that you do not believe that Jesus is part of the Perfect Trinity as proffered in the New Testament (and Old, depending how you interpret Genesis 1).

 

That's how I think one should relate to Jesus, much as you say. Though I personally would add His perfection as part of the Trinity into this, bearing the sins of the world upon his perfection, dying unblemished, then rising again and overcoming death/pain/suffering.

[Lance 228]

I think the radicals who try to guide by the literal writings vs. the examples the stories provide as a guideline for overall life...to me those people who are "organized" religion are the ones who ruined it for me. I still believe in the idea, but I do not and will not participate in the modern day money hungry, "better than you", hypocritical crap that goes on around here on Sunday...

[bucfan64 309]

It is important to remember that the world was cast into sin and sorrow, through and by the transgression of Adam in the garden. This explains our suffering, I know that you are probably troubled by the age old question, "Why does God allow this to take place?" It is important to understand that according to God's plan the suffering that we go through in this life is reason for us to praise and honor him. It sort of goes like this, having experienced the problems of this world, and knowing that in the world to come (Heaven) we will not suffer again, gives us reason to praise God for what he has done and will do for us in eternity.

 

If I had never known sickness, pain, suffering and tribulations, I would not be made to rejoice in the truth that one day, one eternal day all things will be perfect and free from this type of suffering. In other words, without my knowledge of these things, I would not have a reason to believe that I have been saved from something. I know that you are confused and appear to be at a loss.

 

Lance made the comment that organized religion had been a turnoff for him, because many have turned it into a money grabbing business. Although, this is true in many cases, it is not so in every instance. But, it does turn folks away and that is the sad conclusion.

 

I hope that this particular cause is not your reason for doubt, if so perhaps a change in venue might help. If your concerns are based on a personal dilemma, I hope that you are able to reconcile your issues and come to a comfortable spot in your life.

[trublue 939]

I cannot be as eloquent as Observer or Bucfan....but here are reasons for my faith.

 

1. Eleven of the twelve disciples were martyred (Observer touched on this). When Jesus was crucified, they even had doubt....but all of that doubt was vanquished when they actually saw him in his physical body again after the resurrection. As many believing historians have written, .......who would die brutally for a lie.....if indeed they had not seen Jesus with their own eyes. Hey, friendship can only go so far....those disciplines saw Jesus physically raised from the dead....no other reason for them to die as they did ......but they saw and they believed.

 

2. Another is a survival of the Jews. "The survival and prospering of the Jewish ppl during thousands of years of brutal persecution, pogroms and the tragedy of six million Jews massacred in the holocaust is a mysterious miracle unparalled in history. The Jewish ppl, the least among the ancient nations of the Middle East, have survived throughout centuries, despite the overwhelming persecution and opposition against them. No other ppl in history have lost their national homeland for thousand of years, survived dispersion in more than 70 different nations for 20 centuries , and then returned to their ancient homeland and rebuilt it.

What other nation lost its national language for 20 centuries, only to recover it and teach its ancient language to millions of its returning exiles. God's covenant w/Israel was the motivating force behind the Jews remarkable survival as a distinct ppl, even when surrounded by Gentile cultures.

The Jewish race has never constitued more than a small fraction of 1 per cent of the world's population. Today, almost one third of the six billion humans throughout the planet acknowledge that God revealed himself in an astonishing and unique way to the prophets and patriarchs of the ancient Jews."

Above excerpt from Grant Jeffrey : Triumphant Return-The Coming Kingdom of God

 

3. Are Christians perfect.....oh, no....and faithful believers will tell you that. It's a struggle everyday b/c we're still in our earthly bodies .....but IMHO, it takes more to not believe than to believe. You don't toss the baby out with the dirty bath water and the same is true when looking at Christianity as a whole.....there are elements within some churches that are questionable and they will be held accountable but don't dismiss the core message.

John 3:16

Edited June 4, 2009 by trublue

[GMan 3,569]

to me those people who are "organized" religion are the ones who ruined it for me. I still believe in the idea, but I do not and will not participate in the modern day money hungry, "better than you", hypocritical crap that goes on around here on Sunday...

 

+1

[Guest JJBrickface]

I think the radicals who try to guide by the literal writings vs. the examples the stories provide as a guideline for overall life...to me those people who are "organized" religion are the ones who ruined it for me. I still believe in the idea, but I do not and will not participate in the modern day money hungry, "better than you", hypocritical crap that goes on around here on Sunday...

 

I definitely agree that there are people in the church who are the biggest hypocrites ever, however I do not worry about them. I don't let them decide how I am going to live my life. God will judge me individually, those people won't have any input.

[bucfan64 309]

I think the radicals who try to guide by the literal writings vs. the examples the stories provide as a guideline for overall life...to me those people who are "organized" religion are the ones who ruined it for me...

 

If it weren't for organized religion, how would you have been aware of the the religion to begin with?

[Deleted Account 5,203]

I definitely agree that there are people in the church who are the biggest hypocrites ever, however I do not worry about them. I don't let them decide how I am going to live my life. God will judge me individually, those people won't have any input.

 

Well said. If I went through life worrying about what others thought of me, I'd be in a sad state of affairs. And indeed on hypocrisy. I believe each of us has hypocrisy, but some more than others. Only One I've ever known went through life and wasn't one, TBH.

 

And many church-going people show high levels of hypocrisy. I saw it all the time in high school, saw it again in college, see it again up here. But that's between themselves and God. Don't associate with those people if you don't want. But on the other hand, don't assume that most church-goers are extreme hypocrites. As I said above, there are hypocrites in all walks of life.

[Guest JJBrickface]

Well said. If I went through life worrying about what others thought of me, I'd be in a sad state of affairs. And indeed on hypocrisy. I believe each of us has hypocrisy, but some more than others. Only One I've ever known went through life and wasn't one, TBH.

 

And many church-going people show high levels of hypocrisy. I saw it all the time in high school, saw it again in college, see it again up here. But that's between themselves and God. Don't associate with those people if you don't want. But on the other hand, don't assume that most church-goers are extreme hypocrites. As I said above, there are hypocrites in all walks of life.

 

I know what you mean, I also saw it in high school, college, and now the adult life. In high school I remember seeing someone from my youth group participating in something very un Christianlike and it sort of rocked me but was basically just a reality check. After a while I realized that is just the way it is.

 

You can look to others for inspiration and guidance but you can't depend on it because at the end of the day they are human. If we do that then we are asking to losing faith.

[bucfan64 309]

I think that the big problem with "religion" today is that it is NOT portrayed as much as a spiritual experience but rather a membership to a country club.

 

Most people literally "shop" for a church that fits their wants and desires, kinda like looking for a new car. Never taking into consideration if what the church is doing is biblical or if it's members are leading a double life.

 

Churches on the other hand have witnessed this and they have changed significantly in the past 50 or so years. I would argue that this has been ongoing rapidly in America since the early 1800's. Nonetheless, since folks are "shopping" for a church, the churches have began marketing like a business, adding this and that to their services, until they do not even look like their former selves.

 

All of this marketing has led to a new mentality, if we are going to market for new clientel then we need to take a BUSINESS APPROACH. This, in my opinion, is the dominating theme in most large congregations in America today. Give the public what they want and they will show up in droves.

 

This has led to a nation full of folks with HEAD RELIGION and fewer and fewer with HEART RELIGION.

 

I view the Church like a ship in the water, as long as the ship is sailing on the water everything is fine, but just as soon as the water gets in the ship, it starts sinking!

 

Unfortunately, in this case the water represents our worldly lusts.........

[tbgfan 856]

BB, there have been many great posts here, from UVA Observor, JJ Brickface, Trublue and Bucfan, speaking to your doubt and afirming their faith.

 

Faith is not just knowing of God from Bibical accounts, but having that personal relationship with him--through prayer and study of the Bible.

 

I guess a good analogy could be, if you have questions that only your earthly Father could provide the answers, you go to him, you don't go to his yearbook or a family album, but directly to him. Each picture of your Dad, shows scenes from his life and a likeness of him, but they can not speak directly to you of who he is and what he would say to you.

 

God is the same, this is why he told us to PRAY WITHOUT CEASING. He knew there would be seasons in our life, when the enemy would come to sow seeds of doubt and unbelief.

 

I read your post last night, and I prayed for God to give me words of encouragement for you. Today in my mail, was a Christian newsletter I receive monthly from David Wilkerson Ministries. This newsletter was titled "Fully Persuaded"--the following is an excerpt which can speak better than I could:

 

"Paul wrote to the church in Rome: "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of GOD, which is in CHRIST JESUS our Lord" Romans 8:38-39.

 

Before making this bold declaration, Paul first asked this question: "WHO shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us" Romans 8:35-37.

 

It is clear from Paul's question that he recognized Satan's mission in these last days: to hinder God's people from walking in his great love. ....

 

...if we are not alert to Satan's subtle attacks on our faith, we will continue to live defeated lives. Paul knew how important it is to expose the devil's wiles. Only as we identify these attacks on our faith can we say with Paul, "For I am persuaded, that nothing--no lie, no deception, no accusation--can separate me from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus."

 

BB, I have trusted God for a quarter of a century to be my best friend, confidant, comforter and most of all the Father of my savior, Jesus Christ--never once in those years has he failed me--me failing him--YES!!! --many times, but he has always been there to pick up the broken pieces, dry the tears and gently set me on course AGAIN.

 

Life has many choices---eternity two

[Deleted Account 5,203]

BB, there have been many great posts here, from UVA Observor, JJ Brickface, Trublue and Bucfan, speaking to your doubt and afirming their faith.

 

Faith is not just knowing of God from Bibical accounts, but having that personal relationship with him--through prayer and study of the Bible.

 

I guess a good analogy could be, if you have questions that only your earthly Father could provide the answers, you go to him, you don't go to his yearbook or a family album, but directly to him. Each picture of your Dad, shows scenes from his life and a likeness of him, but they can not speak directly to you of who he is and what he would say to you.

 

God is the same, this is why he told us to PRAY WITHOUT CEASING. He knew there would be seasons in our life, when the enemy would come to sow seeds of doubt and unbelief.

 

I read your post last night, and I prayed for God to give me words of encouragement for you. Today in my mail, was a Christian newsletter I receive monthly from David Wilkerson Ministries. This newsletter was titled "Fully Persuaded"--the following is an excerpt which can speak better than I could:

 

"Paul wrote to the church in Rome: "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of GOD, which is in CHRIST JESUS our Lord" Romans 8:38-39.

 

Before making this bold declaration, Paul first asked this question: "WHO shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us" Romans 8:35-37.

 

It is clear from Paul's question that he recognized Satan's mission in these last days: to hinder God's people from walking in his great love. ....

 

...if we are not alert to Satan's subtle attacks on our faith, we will continue to live defeated lives. Paul knew how important it is to expose the devil's wiles. Only as we identify these attacks on our faith can we say with Paul, "For I am persuaded, that nothing--no lie, no deception, no accusation--can separate me from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus."

 

BB, I have trusted God for a quarter of a century to be my best friend, confidant, comforter and most of all the Father of my savior, Jesus Christ--never once in those years has he failed me--me failing him--YES!!! --many times, but he has always been there to pick up the broken pieces, dry the tears and gently set me on course AGAIN.

 

Life has many choices---eternity two

 

That's a beautiful post, one I definitely concur with.

[Guest JJBrickface]

I agree tbgfan, great post!

 

The newsletter couldn't have come at a better time and its message is perfect.

 

Thanks for sharing!

[deuceswild 15]

While I'm usually the most disagreed with liberal on this board (other than fieldgeneral), I consider myself Christian. I typically try not to stick my nose in on the religious/political threads of this board, for the few times I have, I've realized I was too ignorant on a topic or was disagreed with the to the point that it was pointless. But the starting thread to this post picked at me all day after I read it. While I have my uncertainties, as we all must whether or not we admit to it, I wanted to defend my Christianity. Weird how one can have a personal religious conviction at the plight of another?

 

I have no Biblical facts or quotes. Just a small personal narrative to share.

 

When I was 8, traveling home with my Dad from a little league baseball game, I remember popping the question. "Dad, We can't seed God. He never answers my prayers. He never speaks to me. I've never seen a miracle. How am I supposed to know there is a God?" Taking a step back, my parents have never attended church in my lifetime although they claim to be and raised me as.. a Christian. My Dad never attended college although he was a very bright man and still is, in fact; he was merely a utilities worker for the town 45 years until he retired. His reply to me, straight faced and without further explanation, "You just have to believe". I didn't dig any further, I could tell that was all I was getting out of him but it was that one small fragment of wisdom I have carried with me throughout my life.

 

Even after going to college, a liberal boiling pot of various belief systems, and even after majoring in the sciences and learning things that separated my brought up beliefs from the truths of science, "You just have to believe", a mantra in my head, carried me through.

 

I do not currently attend church, but am a firm believer that there is a God. And fortunately for ol' deuces, God believes there is also a me. I have dealt through many hardships, admittedly no more than the average human being has, but still yet I feel like the Lord has righted the ship a few times and some outcomes have been rewritten for the better. As a personal example that I won't touch on too heavily for it's content, but when I was 18 I was accused of a horrible thing in which I was not guilty of. With no one too turn to, I was at my Christian pinnacle, and even when things seemed to get worse, I kept at it. Praying and praying, righting my ways.. to the point that it was exhausting. I might have burnt out a little bit, honestly, but it all paid off in what I feel is a little more than coincidence. I like to call it a "personal mini-miracle".

 

Moral of my offering to you, it is never going to be easy. You will always backslide and question, lose hope, and lose faith. It seems easier said than done, but waging an inner war and creating excuses for why "this or that is or is not" just to ease your conscious is never going to get you anywhere but frustrated. Ultimately.. You just have to believe.