sixcat 2,919 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 HunterCav, what you say toward the end is, in my opinion, the difference between us all, expectation. We are all taught expectation from our parents, family, society, teachers, coaches and anyone else who may have influence over us. I agree with you on this point. We all have an inner expectation of ourselves and that can't be truly realized until we start living out those expectations for ourselves and not others, including our parents. We should expect (there is that word again) the same from our own children. I think we are all basically trying to say the same thing in very different ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntercav 10 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 6-Cat> I guess you disagree with others on the part about kids not knowing what is best for them because he stated that parents should take a secondary role in the decision. Not one single place did I suggest, type, or endorse the concept that parents should be "impartial" and be in an "advisory role." Those two concepts are not concurrent in the least. Further, not once did I suggest that someone hasn't experienced it first hand with their own child that they had nothing to bring to the table. With hope and realized answered prayer, that same seven year old child will one day drive or be driven to a college that hopefully they love; one that meets their needs not their parent's needs. Having to pay for said college certainly helps make some of those decisions a tad easier. I agree 100% with your closing paragraph, which is in some small way, what I was attempting to address. And that is, there is an entire constellation of influences and dynamics which should go into the process and travel does matter if it matters to the child! Best of luck in your endeavors, as mine have worked out just fine with both children. They had more than a dad who had been there done that in their corner and for that, we are all blessed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sixcat 2,919 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 In most cases, and I am sure yours is similar, this stuff tends to work itself out. I have, however, seen it become a wedge between a family. A very close friend of mine chose a college and a career path his father didn't approve of. "Bob" graduated from the university of his choice, at his own expense, while his twin brother "Bill" went to school where his father wanted him to go, studied to take over the "family business" and his father paid for college. Twenty years later, "Bob" lives in Texas, owns his own business and has not spoken to his family in those twenty years. "Bill" is still in Grayson County, running his dad's business and envies his twin brother's courage and conviction to stand up for what he wanted yet they still don't speak. I graduated high school with both and speak to both often, never about the other. All I am saying is it should be the young adults choice where to go to school. I also believe very few athletes ever make a dime playing any particular sport. College choice should be about education and opportunity. Some schools simply offer better of both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleted Account 5,203 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 In most cases, and I am sure yours is similar, this stuff tends to work itself out. I have, however, seen it become a wedge between a family. A very close friend of mine chose a college and a career path his father didn't approve of. "Bob" graduated from the university of his choice, at his own expense, while his twin brother "Bill" went to school where his father wanted him to go, studied to take over the "family business" and his father paid for college. Twenty years later, "Bob" lives in Texas, owns his own business and has not spoken to his family in those twenty years. "Bill" is still in Grayson County, running his dad's business and envies his twin brother's courage and conviction to stand up for what he wanted yet they still don't speak. I graduated high school with both and speak to both often, never about the other. All I am saying is it should be the young adults choice where to go to school. I also believe very few athletes ever make a dime playing any particular sport. College choice should be about education and opportunity. Some schools simply offer better of both. Great post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gym 10 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 I heard Richlands had an eye on the Mt. Mission bus at a track meet earlier in the year...don't know if that qualifies for this thread or not? Seems right Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sixcat 2,919 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 In most cases, and I am sure yours is similar, this stuff tends to work itself out. I have, however, seen it become a wedge between a family. A very close friend of mine chose a college and a career path his father didn't approve of. "Bob" graduated from the university of his choice, at his own expense, while his twin brother "Bill" went to school where his father wanted him to go, studied to take over the "family business" and his father paid for college. Twenty years later, "Bob" lives in Texas, owns his own business and has not spoken to his family in those twenty years. "Bill" is still in Grayson County, running his dad's business and envies his twin brother's courage and conviction to stand up for what he wanted yet they still don't speak. I graduated high school with both and speak to both often, never about the other. All I am saying is it should be the young adults choice where to go to school. I also believe very few athletes ever make a dime playing any particular sport. College choice should be about education and opportunity. Some schools simply offer better of both. Great post. It should also be noted that "Bob" owns a multi-national, multimillion dollar organization. "Bill" is struggling to keep his dad's local real estate business afloat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleted Account 5,203 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 (edited) It should also be noted that "Bob" owns a multi-national, multimillion dollar organization. "Bill" is struggling to keep his dad's local real estate business afloat. That doesn't surprise me a bit. Reading biographies, I see more than a few Bobs that have similar beginnings. Edited October 16, 2012 by UVAObserver Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RichlandsAlum 678 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 This is a really interesting thread. In my own experience, my parents steered me to pursue admission to the more selective institutions of higher learning. Ultimately I made my choices due to reasons that were not remotely related to academic pursuits. I am certain that my folks (quite understandably) were disappointed by my choices – although they were ultimately supportive of them. Having three sons of my own, I find that I am doing the same thing my own parents did – namely steering them to think about going on to the “better†colleges. (And I’ll confess that I’ve gone so far as to pin Ivy League school pennants in their bedrooms.) All of this with the full knowledge that they’ll make their own decisions for their own reasons, of course. Wanting your kids to be happy comes with the territory. Defining “happy†seems to be the hard part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sixcat 2,919 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 Defining “happy†seems to be the hard part. That and trying not to define it for them! It is hard to watch your kids grow up, make choices, stumble and fall down. The getting up is what teaches them who they are and what path is right for them. It is hard not to try and control it though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntercav 10 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 I didn’t chime in on this thread to praise or bury Caesar. I never envisioned it becoming a discussion of Billy and Bobby or Sally and Sue. I never intended to impugn anybody’s opinion of football or college choices because they played or attended, or didn’t. I did intend on giving my real life experiences as a former player and parent of former player involved in the process. I wasn’t writing in broad, sweeping generalizations; I was writing about real people in real situations. On an overly personal note <for which I alone am to blame for mentioning and did edit and delete a thread> I added some information about a current family member for whom I care deeply. Yes, he has an option of attending an Ivy League School that he has zero interest in attending. This “offer†was the residual result from a visit on a return trip home from Boston College, not a planned thing that he grew up with worshiping or seeking; it literally dropped by in the mail unexpectedly. Was it considered? Sure, but not favorably given some other options. You see, his pennant on the wall was VT and his dad placed that seed there to bring forth the coveted fruit because both parents are graduates. To debate whether he’s a fan or not exclusively because his parents shaped the dream is not worthy of further discussion nor is it appropriate for me to do so. What followed on threads was a flow of opinions that appeared to question how anybody could turn down such an “opportunity†as those provided at an Ivy League School without any real concept of what the offer involves. This was dovetailed with a side-bar of discussing who should make the decision of which college a given child attends under their individual circumstances. Sprinkle in some argument about what I typed or didn’t type and VIOLA! I merely injected some facts, not opinions, to make this situation make personal than make believe. In one post it’s about being “impartial†and helping kids make the choice because no teenager knows what is really best for them and then it’s ultimately up to them to make the choice? Those two opinions are not on the same continuum for me and they are not any I ever espoused here or elsewhere. The idea that travel shouldn’t matter is part fairy dust and part idealistic at best. It does matter for all involved parties, but should not be prohibitive if it impedes the child’s “reasonable†desires to attend college A or B. Expectations were discussed, but what is feasible or reasonable was never broached. There are far too many variables, chief among them finances, to adequately discuss all that comes along with college and it only serves to further hijack a thread that is already WAY off topic-mainly due to yours truly! I offered what I thought was a unique prospective because I wasn’t waxing on about what I would or should do in a hypothetical sense; I was sharing what I did and the experiences of my own children and family members. Any discussions about nephews or other family members is certainly relevant, but is not the same as one’s own children-PERIOD. To believe otherwise is to not have children or be completely delusional or both. You and I have shared some private information, so you can understand that I saw a TON of impartial parents, usually through Child Protective Services, Foster Care, Adoption or all the above. I too have several nieces, nephews, former players, friends, teammates with children, etc., who have made many life altering choices that I was a part of that process with them. Some are about placement of loved one’s in facilities and/or being disconnected from life support and few are any fun for anybody. Never once was it the same emotion as those involved with my own children. I probably sat down before I had children or when they were young and moaned on about what I would do when ___ (fill in the blank from dating to driving to choosing a school). I can share that the dynamic changes with time, but the love and responsibility never waver. Those issues are best done privately-not on an open forum such as this. I guess the main point, again if I had any real points at all, was not to judge any kid being “recruited†for choosing this school, the other school, or not playing at all. I made that mistake myself until that chicken came home to roost. I walked a mile in my own shoes and ate stale rotten crow, or chicken as it were, and it wasn’t much fun. I wish you all the very best on gathering information about local kids being recruited and helping others, including perhaps your own children, with any decisions in their lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sixcat 2,919 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 I wish your family member all the best in his decision. I just simply believe it is his decision. Nothing more, nothing less. What kids hear and what was actually said are typically two different things. Hanging the "pennant" on the wall from any school to "bring forth the coveted fruit" is the entire discussion so I do feel it is relevant. I believe it to be the root of our disagreeing but I will leave it alone based on our differences of opinion and we can agree to disagree. After all it is none of my business where he goes to school. Good luck to Lucas wherever his travels take him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntercav 10 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 Just so I can put this to bed about exactly what the disagreement involves, a point of clarity is needed on my part. The discussion was about who was being recruited, not pennants on the wall (I repeated that notion and didn’t introduce it). Here’s how things are currently working in my family, again with real bills coming from Radford University that we write checks for in December and August-no hypotheticals! We sat down with both children at a very early age and stressed the importance of a college education. Attending college was NOT optional in this household. Both children were given options of their choice based on what we could afford-not necessarily where they wanted to go (For the record, I encouraged Hunter to not attend Marshall because I had, so there were no MOO-U or WVU pennants on walls). ANY option beyond that and the option of declaring themselves an independent student and getting financial aid to attend was on the table for them. Otherwise, they have no financial obligation for their education. I am experiencing the same thing with my daughter concerning Pharmacy School. She has several choices including ETSU, Campbell, and UVA Wise, but she loves Shenandoah. We can’t afford it, so she can get financial aid above what we can assist her with to attend and have our blessings. The decision is mutual not exclusive to either party and that my friend is my final answer! I don’t know many kids who had carte blanche or exercised it with this decision. So, a blanket statement that a child should determine where they will attend school without any other practical variables in play is asinine at best. Should they receive full financial aid or grants or scholarships, it would seem to me that your theory is one I would more readily endorse, but would hope they sought input with such an important choice. This important decision was not addressed any differently than any other important choices for either of my children. So, I am not sure that discord hasn’t been manufactured by semantics or just a lack of communication through paragraphs of jabberwocky on this forum’s format. At any rate, sorry we missed that round of golf this year! Hope springs eternal for next year. I am headed off to visit family and attend the WVU/K-State game, so I’ll park the clubs for a couple of months. Thanks for the well wishes for Lucas. He’ll do just fine with whatever decision he AND his family arrives at for his college destination. He is blessed to not have to rely on football to get his education, yet another variable THAT I NEVER MENTIONED IN ANY OF MY RESPONSES-LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebluefan 12 Report Share Posted October 18, 2012 there is a rumor in tazewell county that richie thomas will be new superintendent next year. the reason why is because richlands wants his son on their football team. he would help them up front-my understanding the kid can play. what a big pickup if it comes true. wow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleted Account 5,203 Report Share Posted October 18, 2012 I wish your family member all the best in his decision. I just simply believe it is his decision. Nothing more, nothing less. I would add the caveat that a parent should be open to questions by one's child, and when approached, should provide information that is accurate not only in veracity, but in terms of priority. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cityofRaven 2,444 Report Share Posted October 18, 2012 there is a rumor in tazewell county that richie thomas will be new superintendent next year. the reason why is because richlands wants his son on their football team. he would help them up front-my understanding the kid can play. what a big pickup if it comes true. wow It's stupidity like this that makes Richlands look bad, good job tool! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redtiger 1,740 Report Share Posted October 18, 2012 Just gonna step in here a little(and not discuss the entire thread). Deciding whether or not to go to College and if so where to go to college is the childs first major adult decision. IMO parents should advise their child, not influence. The parent is gonna see things the child does not and should make light of it. Too many parents force their children into picking 1 college over the other, in that type of situation the child is not gonna be successful and happy. I think at that point as a parent you have to step back and let the kid go, and trust that you did a good job raising them. Of course I dont have children Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigrhsfan 884 Report Share Posted October 18, 2012 It's stupidity like this that makes Richlands look bad, good job tool! this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hokieFRED Report Share Posted October 18, 2012 there is a rumor in tazewell county that richie thomas will be new superintendent next year. the reason why is because richlands wants his son on their football team. he would help them up front-my understanding the kid can play. what a big pickup if it comes true. wow I have heard the same thing. The guy is 6'6" and weighs 300 pounds would be a nice pickup for the Blues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bugsbunny 12 Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 He plays center on offense and is pretty good there. They have him at LB on defense (at least they did early in the year when I saw them) and he is just too slow to be a good LB although just seeing him standing there in the middle is probably intimidating to the other team. IMO they should move him to defensive line. Not too many opposing players are going to be able to push him off of the line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrb 26 Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 Where is Richie Thomas from? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hokieFRED Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 again with a post that I didn't post.....wtf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyinghi 10 Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 there is a rumor in tazewell county that richie thomas will be new superintendent next year. the reason why is because richlands wants his son on their football team. he would help them up front-my understanding the kid can play. what a big pickup if it comes true. wow How can someone have a job without even interviewing? That is what is wrong with our school systems in the area. People are hired without even going throught eh process. I guess nobody else needs to apply for the job. If the school system does something like this it is shameful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueRazor 1,147 Report Share Posted October 22, 2012 Just wanted to say good luck to the Ludwig kid from Abingdon. We were all surprised at just how strong his leg really was. On his 48 yard attempt it hit over halfway up on the goal post. We wish him all the best with his recruiting. He really does deserve his shot at Division 1! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deleted Account 5,203 Report Share Posted October 22, 2012 How can someone have a job without even interviewing? That is what is wrong with our school systems in the area. People are hired without even going throught eh process. I guess nobody else needs to apply for the job. If the school system does something like this it is shameful. Key word in RHS's post is "rumor". It's about as valid as a 6-dollar bill. Let's leave it at that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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