Holding Kids Back

[sixcat 2,922]

Quincy, some of the best kids ive got spent last weekend in the hay field.

 

RichlandsAlum,  I was in the same boat. My birthday is late November and I started school when I was 4. I developed fine but honestly my elementary schools days were more or less unhappy for me. I was immature and it showed. Some kids were close 12+ months older than me and I didn't fit in. Long term everything balanced out and by high school I was close to even in maturity with everyone else but truly I didn't mature until I was in my 2nd year of college. I went to SVCC, if I would have went to UVA-W(where I graduated) I wouldn't have made it. Mentally I just wasn't ready. I think an extra year would have helped me tremendously. Now from a football perspective I was as strong as anyone and bigger than most so idk that it really would have helped me that much.

 

sixcat, waiting until almost 7 is CRAZY. That's doing a great disservice to the child

I started kindergarten at 4 as well.  I wouldn't change it if I could but we all have our own unique journeys through life.  The September 30 date in effect today would have prevented me from beginning school when I did, as would it have redtiger and RichlandsAlum.  My issue isn't with parents who are pushing boundaries within a reasonable frame of time, i.e. 12 month gaps being a maximum.  My issue is with those parents who are, in essence, abusing these children by having them be 2 full grade levels behind where they should be based on supposed athletic gain.  I don't even know if I fully understand how the two girls I mentioned earlier would be eligible for VHSL competition as seniors.  

 

In my opinion, this is something that has gotten out of control locally.

[Bigrhsfan 884]

My wife teaches middle school aged kids and the few times that either she or any parents have suggested that a kid be held back is because of maturity issues. She has never had a parent ask for it because of sports that she can remember.

Now of course, I am not saying it hasn't happen with another teacher or school, of course it has, she just has not seen it. We have heard about several kids that probably did it for sports, but she hasn't had any expierence with it....yet, and she has taught for 31 years.

I talked with her about it quite a bit last night. She said her personal view/policy about it is, if a kid is quite a bit behind the rest as far as socially and maturity then she will talk to the parents about possibly holding one back.

It can be a big step for some kids with that kind of issue to go from middle school to the high school.

It can be a big step for a lot of kids even without those issues. The goal is to make sure each kid is equipped to move on and have the skills and ability to do their best when they do move up.

[Mountain Football 1,532]

What is the VHSL rule regarding age qualification?  Can't be 19 start of senior year?

 

I can understand parents wanting to hold a child back a year because of grades or maturity.  But, from what I see and hear there are very few held back for those reasons. I'm not sure school systems will have attempt to eliminate kids being held back for sports reasons but it seems to me it has gotten a little out of control.

[barondawg77 115]

What is the VHSL rule regarding age qualification?  Can't be 19 start of senior year?

 

I can understand parents wanting to hold a child back a year because of grades or maturity.  But, from what I see and hear there are very few held back for those reasons. I'm not sure school systems will have attempt to eliminate kids being held back for sports reasons but it seems to me it has gotten a little out of control.

Cannot turn 19 before August 1st.

[Deleted Account 5,203]

As a bit of an aside, my son was due September 29th and was born October 2nd. With a September 30th deadline, how nitpicky would TCPS want to be about that deadline? Based on gestational and formational age, he's there. Based on "number of days on this side of the womb", he doesn't.

 

Going into his third birthday, he knows:

 

(1) All his letters, upper/lower

(2) Numbers through 20

(3) Count-and-sort through 10

(4) 12 different colors

 

He's slightly above average in terms of active vocabulary, and he speaks well (for a 3-year-old) and enunciates well (same) when he has a clear idea what he wants to say.

 

From a mental standpoint, no doubt in my mind he'll be ready. In terms of maturity, far less clear.

 

And thinking about the "gap", were he to start at 4, he would be 3 years ahead of my daughter, born in January. If he were "held back", it'd be 2, which is a nicer gap. But if I hold him back, will he just be bored out of his mind in Pre-K?

[jarhead24219 440]

I have found out a long time ago that an age doesn't mean anything in being mature.I was stomping around Beirut in 1983 and there were much younger Marines than me there also.We have picked up,cleaned ,cooked and insisted that most of our kids let us pay for things ,that way they don't have to work .If they need to mature, maybe we need to do that at home, another year on the tax payers dime will not make them grow up,only we can.There are a lot of veterans out there that will agree, wars are fought by 17, and 18 yr olds and ROSS ANDREW MCGINNIS WAS BARELY 19 when he won the MEDAL OF HONOR. So maturity doesn't come with age,just responsibility.if a kid gets hurt or sick or his grades need improving,by all means let him repeat that grade ,but not because the shelf is stocked full of all state QBs this year,and we need him next year.Again I point to Thomas JONES, 17 YRS OLD when he went to UVA and 19 when he received his degree.

[local_insight 146]

My wife teaches middle school aged kids and the few times that either she or any parents have suggested that a kid be held back is because of maturity issues. She has never had a parent ask for it because of sports that she can remember.

Now of course, I am not saying it hasn't happen with another teacher or school, of course it has, she just has not seen it. We have heard about several kids that probably did it for sports, but she hasn't had any expierence with it....yet, and she has taught for 31 years.

I talked with her about it quite a bit last night. She said her personal view/policy about it is, if a kid is quite a bit behind the rest as far as socially and maturity then she will talk to the parents about possibly holding one back.

It can be a big step for some kids with that kind of issue to go from middle school to the high school.

It can be a big step for a lot of kids even without those issues. The goal is to make sure each kid is equipped to move on and have the skills and ability to do their best when they do move up.

 

When I was in Richlands Middle school my 8th grade year 7 guys that played football held back including myself. It really helped in academics, however I also believe it helped some in Athletics, because that year (2010 football year, 2011 graduation year) is the year we lost the state championship game and if we did not hold back that would of taken 5 starters away from that team. 

[West12aaa 99]

I think it's mostly done for maturity reasons to be honest. I'd rather see them out in a hay field or tobacco field every summer. You'll grow up quick then.

One summer square bails, 40 acres tobacco say no more

[jarhead24219 440]

nothing like putting up hay ,to build a young man....work SUCKS

[Hacker 82]

i have a different seat, so my perspective is different.  I have found that boys can be less mature at a given age than girls.  An extra year does not hurt them.  It is usually better if it happens at the elementary level.  (Texas has a trend of "Red Shirting," where parents hold boys out of Kindergarten for maturity.)  Holding back a kid for academics is usually a losing proposition.

 

I am not a fan of holding back for sports, but it is something that goes one

[cityofRaven 2,450]

Going into his third birthday, he knows:

 

(1) All his letters, upper/lower

(2) Numbers through 20

(3) Count-and-sort through 10

(4) 12 different colors

 

Hell, I can't do those things now...

[tornado99 345]

Very good discussion. My perspective has changed a little over the years. I agree that there often are advantages early in life, but they often come out in the end. My thoughts:

1. I don't consider a child with an August to December birthday as a holdback, unless starting 2 years after earliest available enrollment. As a parent, you either start them at 4/turning 5 (making them the youngest), or 5/turning (oldest). I had an October birthday and my parents chose the latter. I don't know how much it helped or hurt at the time, but I did well in school. I have a younger son with an August birthday, so I will be making the choice much later.

2. There is definitely more holding back for athletic purposes now than in my day. There are also athletic advantages from doing so in the high school level. (Under today's eligibility rules, I could have "held back" and have played at 18/turning 19. I only mention this because I always worked out the same, but put on 20 lbs of muscle and got faster over the summer after graduation. It would have made a difference on the field.

3. For the reason above, I disagree with that practice for purely athletic purposes. For division 1 athletes it's not likely to make a difference, for everyone else it could. Thomas Jones is a great example. I don't know for certain, but I believe Heath Miller heldback. (If not, I apologize). I'm sure some of the others have. I would say, some non-D1 talents had better opportunities for paid education at a small school level.

4. Based on my experience with boys vs girls, boys are definitely behind girls in maturity. That often is reflected in school settings. It is often not issues with intelligence, but functioning in a school environment (i.e. sitting still and focusing for periods of time).

5. My last point has made me consider my entire stances and it comes down to purpose. I have a son with a March birthday that is very good with some factual information (colors, letters, numbers, etc.) BUT upon research, evaluations, etc. he has been said to have some "delays" (example speech). Without help, there is the potential of him being behind. I hope to not have to make that decision to hold back in elementary given professional feedback from teachers, but have to consider the child first. I just know that if athletics are in his future, that extra year is advantageous, even though I disagree doing for athletics.

[redtiger 1,742]

Touching on something other have said, holding back would have made school easier for me BUT I believe the struggles I faced made me who I am today. I didn't exactly fit in, well im pretty independent now. I was a little immature, so?

 

I do believe in pushing ones own limits, holding back does not do that.  Struggle and success, optimism and failure, a hay field, plowing behind a horse(Ive actually done it, one of the few people under 50 that can say that), working a summer job(and I mean WORKING). Those things build character and make better men and women.