Some things really piss me off!!! A peewee football game story...

[GMan 3,569]

My wife has a good friend whose son is playing peewee football for the first time.  Their team isn't bad but they hadn't won a game so far this season. 

 

We went to one of his games.  They played great. They had a really good running game and a stout little defense.  They scored three times and converted on all PATs and won the game 24-14!  Their first win of the season! 

 

All the kids were extremely happy and excited after winning the game and came running off the field all smiles and excited.  As the kids were coming around the fence to go find their parents, one kid, I'll call him #6 came running up to his dad beaming with excitement.  #6 had just played a great game, scoring a TD and a PAT plus making a ton of tackles on the outside.

 

Anyway #6 comes running up to his dad and says "dad, since we played so good and won, can "Johnny" come with us to eat?", as he was referring to his teammate who was with him.

 

First words out of his dad's mouth, "Well you didn't play that good.  You missed several tackles and let that one kid score a TD on you."

 

Needless to say, this little kid went from sky high to rock bottom in a matter of moments.  You could see tears in his eyes after his dad had just deflated his spirit.

 

I was shocked. I felt like punching that dickhead right in the neck for how he treated his son at that

moment.  Makes you wonder just how bad that kid has it when he does screw up.

 

Anyway, as I walked by the kid heading toward the car, I patted him on the shoulder pads and said "you played good #6", he looked at me with a half-hearted smile and said "thanks"....

[Ryan4VT 4,555]

Some parents need to learn they are 5-7 years old and playing a GAME. This isn't the NFL. It isn't college or high school ball. He is supposed to be out there having fun and that's ALL that matters at this stage. Someone should punch that guy in the throat. 

[Plywood_King 518]

I absolutely hate the "give 'em all a trophy" society that we live in, but the other extreme can be just as, if not more disgusting.

[redtiger 1,740]

well said plywood and Ryan.

 

At that age all that matters is being a part of something, have fun and learn the basics

[cityofRaven 2,447]

And that in a nutshell is why a lot of well qualified coaches don't coach anymore. Whether it be peewee, little league or at the varsity level and beyond, a lot of the parents are complete idiots.

[redtiger 1,740]

^but think they now it all

[trumpet1988 289]

These kids are young. Just learning how to play. What a jerk.

[Unchained 587]

Nothing like some dude who was probably mediocre or didn't even play sports taking he joy from his child by expecting perfection. Sad situation

[HM3-8404 103]

I coach youth football and believe me win or lose all those boys and girls are thinking of 5 minutes later is a slice of pizza or a hotdog. Much like I am . lol

[sixcat 2,920]

This is the biggest reason I stopped refereeing.

 

My daughter had a soccer game Thursday night. A 3rd-4th grade football team was practicing on an adjacent field. Practice was supposed to be from 5-6. My daughters soccer game was over at 7:50 and the same kids were on the adjacent field practicing, without any lighting whatsoever. Coaches screaming at those kids like crazed fools. Parents were irate because their kids hadn't had dinner or done homework.

 

Needless to say, the director of parks and rec is still dealing with the fallout.

[redtiger 1,740]

an hour is about as long as someone can reasonably keep kids that young out. I mean they are running what, 5-6 plays and 2-3 formations? What are they practicing?

[Bigrhsfan 884]

Years ago when I was living in Maryland I was coaching PeeWee football.  I had a great time with the kids,  but the parents were another thing.

I had a great little team and we went undefeated and after each game I would take all the kids to Micky D's and get them a burger, fries and drink and the kids loved that about as much as the games itself,  but the parents were never happy. 

Always calling me at all hrs and times wanting to know why their kid wasn't the QB or RB or starting and why was little johnny starting over my future "hall of famer".

All I really cared about was making sure the kids at that age learned the fundamentals of the game and making sure they had a good time and enjoyed the game of football,  but after having to deal with SOME of the parents  ( some were great )  I just decided it wasn't worth the hassle to me or my family.

It's a shame what a few can do !

[futbolking 766]

As a youth league coach who has coached kids from the age of 4 to the age of 18.... I've had teams that have won every game.  I have had teams that have not won a game.  The MOST important thing is that those kids are having fun and that they are being a part of a team and working together.  The LAST thing they need is for an adult to belittle them for their efforts.  I can tell you that I haven't met a kid I didn't like while coaching.... but I have met quite a few adults.  

[sixcat 2,920]

an hour is about as long as someone can reasonably keep kids that young out. I mean they are running what, 5-6 plays and 2-3 formations? What are they practicing?

I saw very little actual practice and far too much yelling, screaming, and grown ass men throwing temper tantrums while the kids stood and watched.

 

This group of "dads" needs to be relieved of coaching duties.

[Bearcat Bob 491]

That was a very kind and honorable gesture you made G-man.  That little boy will remember and will appreciate it.

[BigWinners 1,643]

You are a better man than I am GMan, I would have either said something to the parent or shoved his ass around, there is no reason at all to act like that towards kids that age. 

 

 

My dad was never easy on me, but it was never that bad.

[GC_Quincy 582]

This is the very reason I stopped coaching T-Ball and youth baseball years ago. The kids in T-Ball would always ask if we won afterwards (which the score wasn't kept) and I'd always reply "did you have fun"? They'd all say yes, so I told them that yes, they had won. One little guy told his parents that they won and his dad said and I quote "Son you got your asses kicked. You didn't win anything". It made me sick to my stomach.

[West12aaa 99]

Alright this happened to me today. While working today I had a conversation with a colleague who swore up and down that when he coaches his son that he takes his competitive nature out of the equation (his son is 7) Me being the friendly guy started talking about middle school basketball and the skills they should learn. Giving him pointers and my 2 cents just to continue the convo.

While riding in his car with blue tooth, he has a convo with a coaching buddy talking about kids he wants to surround his son with to help him win games.

 

First he is 7, winning < skill foundation

2nd who gives a f about 7 year old sports

3rd if it was my kid, I would be preaching dribbling, court vision, attention to detail, and workin as a team. Not points and pride

 

Seriously about punched the dude thru the door after this

 

Edit sorry this is a basketball rant but along the same lines as this.

[Blue_Crue 49]

Mike Matheny the coach for the Cardinals has great book about youth coaching. Even though it is baseball I would recommend it because in the end it is about the kids.

[RichlandsAlum 678]

Alright this happened to me today. While working today I had a conversation with a colleague who swore up and down that when he coaches his son that he takes his competitive nature out of the equation (his son is 7) Me being the friendly guy started talking about middle school basketball and the skills they should learn. Giving him pointers and my 2 cents just to continue the convo.

While riding in his car with blue tooth, he has a convo with a coaching buddy talking about kids he wants to surround his son with to help him win games.

 

First he is 7, winning < skill foundation

2nd who gives a f about 7 year old sports

3rd if it was my kid, I would be preaching dribbling, court vision, attention to detail, and workin as a team. Not points and pride

 

Seriously about punched the dude thru the door after this

 

Edit sorry this is a basketball rant but along the same lines as this.

 

Most of my youth coaching experience is in basketball so I appreciate this insight and have some of my own to offer.  I'm probably going to be coaching a 9-10 year old team this winter and I'm heading into it with exactly two points of focus -- ball handling on offense and keeping position in a zone defense.  And I have to do that mainly because I am "inheriting" kids from younger age levels who have been pumped full of nonsense about the relative importance of winning and losing at this level.

 

It's beyond cliche, but the involvement of adults is generally the largest negative influence on youth sports.

[West12aaa 99]

Most of my youth coaching experience is in basketball so I appreciate this insight and have some of my own to offer. I'm probably going to be coaching a 9-10 year old team this winter and I'm heading into it with exactly two points of focus -- ball handling on offense and keeping position in a zone defense. And I have to do that mainly because I am "inheriting" kids from younger age levels who have been pumped full of nonsense about the relative importance of winning and losing at this level.

 

It's beyond cliche, but the involvement of adults is generally the largest negative influence on youth sports.

You are dealing with very short attention spans and the added pressure from winning.

Truthfully, I stopped coaching due to parent wanting to win so bad and getting mad because I was "platoon"ing my team so EVERYONE got equal play time and experience.

However come tournament time, if there was one I would start playing certain kids more just to instill the need to get better have more playing time. I feel like that is a good medium between the broken system of everyone gets a trophy and the pathetic excuse to push your kids too hard to early.

[mrb 26]

Father had coached for all most 40 years. Had someone to threaten him with his life because his son was not getting enough playing time on the All-Star team. He quit after that, said at that moment baseball wasn't fun anymore.

[Bigrhsfan 884]

Same sort of thing happened to me and that was the reason I quit.

 You want to get in my face and call me names and fight and even threaten me in front of the kids because you think your kid was the 2nd coming of Johnny U and it was an on going thing with this parent and his brother,  then it's time for me to go. 

Not because I was scared of the man,  but it made coaching not fun any more and made my family worry about me.

  It took everything in me to keep from laying that particular parent out,  but in was in front of the kids and it would have sent the wrong msg. to them and probably scared them to death,  so I figured the best thing was to turn around and walk away,  but damn,  that was hardest thing to do.

It is such a shame,  because I absolutely loved working with the kids and the kids learned a lot and had a ball. 

The kids lose out in the end because they're a lot of good people out there that would make great coaches but just don't want to get involved because of dealing with SOME parents.

By the way,  I did have some great parents also,  some that went out of their way to help in any way possible,  so there are some really good people out there too,  sometimes I think the bad stuff overwhelms the good and we sometimes forget the good ones. 

[RichlandsAlum 678]

You are dealing with very short attention spans and the added pressure from winning.

Truthfully, I stopped coaching due to parent wanting to win so bad and getting mad because I was "platoon"ing my team so EVERYONE got equal play time and experience.

However come tournament time, if there was one I would start playing certain kids more just to instill the need to get better have more playing time. I feel like that is a good medium between the broken system of everyone gets a trophy and the pathetic excuse to push your kids too hard to early.

 

Yep.  And to clarify...  I'm coaching within my local recreation program, which makes things a lot easier.  Everybody plays the same amount of time (although if one kid has to get "shorted," it's always mine -- and that's something my sons understand heading into any situation which involves playing for me as a head coach).  And although we certainly play to win, I make it clear to the team parents that the W/L record rates far below having fun, learning to play as a team, and getting better at fundamentals in terms of priorities.

 

Travel ball has actually been something of a saving grace.  For "serious" players and parents (mostly the latter), there are plenty of available options such as AAU in my immediate area.  And since I receive -- and turn down -- frequent requests to coach youth travel teams, I can assist interested families in making connections.  I just caution those parents to be certain that they're really considering what their kids want and need in terms of coaching.  When issues related to playing time or team competitiveness come up on the Rec team, I'm then able to remind the complaining party of the conversation we've previously had about travel ball and the choice that they've made.  Seems to work so far, but I know there's bound to be a limit to that success.

[sixcat 2,920]

I had to resurrect this thread due to last nights events.  Thanks for the opportunity by starting this thread GMan!

 

My 7 year old daughter plays soccer in the Galax recreation department 8u league.  Last night, a dad for the opposing team paced the sidelines the entire game screaming at his son in such a fashion several parents called local police.  One comment struck a nerve with me and I politely asked him to "sit down and allow the rest of us to enjoy our children running around enjoying themselves".  He didn't really respond and repeated the offensive comment, "don't you let that f*&king Mexican take the ball away from you, kick his ass".  I wasn't as polite the second time, positioning myself between him and the field so he couldn't see or concentrate on what was going on.  Others got involved and began to embarrass his family so his wife and daughter started arguing with him.  He finally sat down and shut up.

 

It was a shameful experience I had to share.  It was a great teachable moment for our two daughters, however.  We had a nice conversation at home following the game last night.